Back home after a great weekend at the APAT PRO-AM.
Picked up from Peterborough on Friday afternoon by the legend that is Laz for the quick trip to Luton(not quite as quick as previous journeys due to a buckled wheel- no truth in the rumour that the wheel buckled under the weight of Rod Paradises previous visit to the passenger seat).Traffic was slightly heavy naturally as this was a Friday so conversation was plentiful and i must admit i found myself laughing my head off when the topic of conversation turned to the blonde bash held two weeks previously in Luton.Laz was trying to remember the forum name of a guy he had been speaking to
"Booder, you remember that guy The Riddler ? "
"hmm dont recall any blondes by that name pal"
"oh.....perhaps it was the Joker ? "
"hmm nope doesn't ring any bells"
cue silence....then it comes to him
"got it.......Solver " loool
Arrive in Luton and book into room 720 at the Strathmore hotel.Washed and changed we head out into town for a few bevvies and a bite to eat.Thirsts quenched and stomachs filled we retire back to the hotel for an earlyish night in readiness for Saturdays event,an event in which we have both been staked (along with about 50 other blondes !),an event in which we are both determined to play our best and reward our backers by cashing big.
I had shared a caravan with Laz on a previous vacation,but his bedroom on that occasion was situated far enough away from me to make me unaware of the fact that he snores.OH MY GOD HOW HE SNORES !! After two or three hours of shouting at him and leaning across to punch him,i got fed up and decided to move into the bathroom in order to get a bit of sleep.Unfortunately,lying in the bath,even with the taps in the sink running in an attempt to drown out the noise,i was still unable to escape the bellowing coming from his bed.Resigned to my fate,i returned to my bed and spent the remaining hours staring at the ceiling imagining different ways of killing him and disposing of the body a la Dexter.
Eventually morning breaks and Laz compensates me for my suffering by making me a cup of coffee,we then head off for some breakfast and a trip to the bookies.Coral's in Luton,like so many bookmakers shops,has its regular clientele and one of them soon latched onto Laz telling him all about his foolproof way of winning at backing horses....only back the virtual races,and pick a random number......a surefire winner. We invested a few quid in a dog race as one of the dogs was named Boo (i also did it in the forecast with another blonde associated name dog...Triggers Hair) but were unsuccessful.Spotted a horse in the Cambridgeshire which i thought was a massive price...Nanton..was the rank outsider at 100/1 so had to have a little each way tickle......was delighted to learn that it came 2nd ship it.
Off then to the Casino,as earlybirds,the only people in attendence were Tighty,Tikay and Des.Soon we were joined by Claire(Claw) and At-It Bradley and we got the fun underway with a few games of Kalooki (and Laz got a bit of abuse for his wickerwork shoes)
2.30pm and the cards are in the air.On my starting table are Claire and Vinny (celtic) and they are in almost every pot.A couple of the players on our table are real bad and i am looking to get involved in a pot with them but no cards or situations arise.Claire runs good,picking up some pretty good hands and becomes the main beneficiary of aforementioned numpties whilst i continue to fold my garbage hands.50/100 Numpty no 1 raises utg+1 to 400 and i find jacks.I flat and it folds round to Claire in the bb who raises to 1200.numpty calls (with AJ) and i call also.A queen high flop elicits a 5k bet from Claire and we both fold to be shown aces...luckbox.
4 levels later it is dinnertime and i have just over 5k from my starting stack of 10k and a new set of table companions including the voiciferous Scouse.After a coupl of orbits of 150/300 i pick up AK in late position and make it 900 to go...i have decided that i am quite prepared to stick them in here if i get reraised and sure enough one of the blinds repops to 2600.i am up against 10 10 and a raggy board does not help until the beautiful river king weeeeeeeeeeeee back to my starting stack.get moved tables a couple of times while my stack gets smaller and smaller but i dont panic,i can grind with the best of them and i am in it to win it.
Get moved into seat 5 on a table that has Massive chips,the daddy of the stacks belonging to Le Knave,a guy i quite often watch online,somebody who imo has a great allround game(but he does have dodgy hair).Have been on the table a short while (other blondes present..Raif Karabiner and Phil "gentleman" Cooklin.) and the blinds have just gone 600/1200. All fold to Kevin Owen in the small blind who raises to 3200.I have 8 000 and A9 and in they go..i am delighted to be up against 44 and a flopped 9 and turned ace shoots me up to 18k.A couple of hands later Le Knave makes it 3200 and i repop to 10 200 with 10 000 behind ...he doesnt deliberate too long and sets me in.His 10 10 look very weak after a flopped king and a rivered ace and i am up to 40k....i now know what it must feel like to be moorman.There are now 30 left and ave is 26k.Havn't felt this good in a tourny for a long long time and a short time later i go MASSIVE. Folds to mr Owen in the small blind who makes a standard raise..i look down to see two beautiful black kings...i dwell for a bit as i am really unsure whether to flat or whether to put in a raise.I decide to raise,just in case he has a genuine hand and he immediately shoves his 40k stack allin...obv my chips are in the middle just as quick and after a king on the flop mr Owens AQ is no more and i have 80k+.
I get moved to a new table containing Pocketlady,Bradley,Red Dog,Snatty and Paul King and this is where i make my big mistake of the tournament.Unknown to me,Paul King has been picking up big pairs on a regular basis.
Blinds 1000/2000 and i make it 5000 from the cutoff with 99.Paul in the big blind makes it another 8k and i call his reraise.I have played in a lot of festival events with Paul and i am sure that he sees me as a solid ABC player who he can generally outplay..in fact at our last encounter at dtd he raised utg with 9 10 called my reraise and managed to hit v my kings.The flop comes 5 7 k which looks like a pretty good flop for me...he instabets 12k with 12k behind.I can fold here and still be in excellent shape,but the little voice in my head is telling me he has nothing..i dwell...i dwell some more...I know i should fold,but knowing it and actually doing it is i suppose what separates the great from the mediocre....i set him in eventually and obviously he has aces for the hundreth time that day.
17 left and i am back grinding a 25k stack...plenty for me,i am over the disappointment of the bad play and concentrating on playing well.
utg raises to 8k 1500/3000 i find AK and there is no doubt where they are going...i am not too happy to see the player two to my left move allin after me but the original raiser folds and my opponent also shows AK although his are both clubs...two clubs on the flop and i know i am not going to escape this one..sure enough the river club arrives and i bid farewell and good luck to my competitors.
The bar beckons and my sorrows are drowned in the company of Laz and two women(i use the term loosely) who Laz seems too find more attractive with each beer that passes his lips.Another guy joins us and too say he was an irritation would be an understatement.Laz really is a gentle giant but i could tell he was getting more and more annoyed with this fella and i started to fear for his health.Eventually Laz sidles up to me and whispers in my ear..
"i'm gonna stick one on him in a minute"
"easy Laz,you will be banned from Grosvenors and that will be a real shame if you let one arsehole spoil your poker enjoyment"
"ok i will follow him into the toilets and chin him there"

you gotta love him
Thankfully this bloke could sense he was not too popular and departed and his place at the bar was taken by a new face to me..blondeite zzzzzzzzzzzzzzrope and he was the complete opposite,a real pleasure to chat to and a real nice guy.
Eventually it was time to go and after wishing the remaining blondes goodnight and good luck we walked back to the hotel via the chicken shop.
I quickly got into bed,armed with a fork to be used for sticking in snoring scotsmen, dreading another sleepless night so imagine my surprise when i am awoken at 11.00am.
"fuck me i slept all night....you didnt snore! "
"oh i had my ipod on when i went to bed.....i never snore when i have it on "
you couldn't make it up
Thanks to everybody at APAT for a great tournament,thanks to all the blondes who always make these events something special,thanks to all the stakers for giving me a shot at this(it will work out one of these days),thanks to tikay and all the peeps who posted messages of support and a special thanks to Laz for being a very special pal.