The Sit n' Go Cardinal Rules - Contains Strong Insults to Myself!

[Junior Senior]

I have just recently transferred some word and excel files from my old Pc to my laptop and found this little treasure that i wrote about 18 months ago.  Made me laugh! - i must have been playing so badly that i decided to go back to basics and give myself a good old telling off in writing.  What do you think, or have i got it all wrong?

1.Patience is word of the day every day  you Muppet!

2.Do not get involved early on when the blinds are low unless you have a very good genuine starting hand you idiot.

3.No limping from early or middle position with shit connectors unless it is very cheap, you have good pot odds and the table hasnt had much raising action  limping corrodes your stack genius!

4.If you have ignored point 3 because you are an idiot and you have limped with suited connectors, do not get married to your top pair! Only continue to the turn and river if you have hit two pair or have a pair with a 4-flush draw or you are up and down for the top straight.  Make sure you properly assess the odds, implied odds and value moron.

5.Do not make stupid bluffs when you are chipped up with four to go (five to go in a 2-table).

6.Do not make loose in-disciplined calls when you are chipped up with four to go (five to go in a 2-table) just because you can afford it.

7.Just because you are in the blinds it doesnt mean you HAVE to get involved!  assess the hand for what it is.  The cards dont miraculously double in value just because you have money invested and you are in the blinds. - (Note to idiot self; playing after the flop whilst in the blinds means you are out of position!!)

8.Do not get involved when you are chipped up with four to go (five to go in a 2-table) unless you have the nuts or are calling a smallish all in bet with an extremely good hand in order to knock out a player.

9.Play only one sit and go at a time!

10.Give it your full concentration in the latter stages (6 or less left and blinds increasing)  do not f***ing e-bay, Hotmail or surf whilst playing!

11.Bluffing should not be done for entertainment or because you are trying to buy your way out of an earlier mistake.  Bluffing is a science that will only work when there are few people to play against.  You will know when the time is right, if the feeling is wrong and you know youre probably going to get called then just f***ing resist temptation and be patient!

12.When you get to the prizes dont just go for coin flips and gambles, still keep it tight and trap.  You want to win not just come third!

[TightEnd]

LOL, agree with every word!

Please throw away and return to muppet self prior to next Wednesday 5pm. Much appreciated!

[Newportlad]

Great piece.

This should be every players mantra.

[AdamM]

I agree. I can associate with every word of that Greg. I'm saving that somewhere safe and will read it before every online session.

[AndrewT]

At the moment I have my own version of 10, which is 'The Simpsons are always on Sky every night - you don't have to watch them whilst playing poker. You know them all off by heart anyway'

[Splash]

I like the self flagellation!   

[Junior Senior]

glad you like it - i guess its just common sense really.
Not gonna give my usernames out as i'll get fleaced by blondeites who now posess my gameplan! 

[Teacake]

Bang on the money I reckon Junior

[Maroon]

Copied-Pasted-Saved-Printed-Pinned on wall. 

[divaflava]

point 2 - a6 adam?

anyway, i disagree - take advantage of everyone else's reluctance to seem loose, build a big stack.
Then give serious consideration to changing gear.

btw,

11. If you have recently moved and are nicking someone else's bandwidth, thanks to the joys of wi-fi, don't play for too high stakes - as you never know when they'll decide to turn the network off.

[AdamM]

7.Just because you are in the blinds it doesnt mean you HAVE to get involved!  assess the hand for what it is. The cards dont miraculously double in value just because you have money invested and you are in the blinds. - (Note to idiot self; playing after the flop whilst in the blinds means you are out of position!!)

Diva, point 7.

[divaflava]

touch?nbsp; - and i was beginning to think you were too nice a bloke to joke with 

[reactive]

can not agree with only play one at a time , muppet hits u the backside and leaves u with nothing for your endeavours , instead try to have a few on the go , all at various levels that way u wont end up with two heads up at the same time , three if you are tired and four if you are fresh usually ok for run of the mill stt

[patman]

lol

have mentally slapped me self a few times for a few of these...great stuff and hard won lessons

[Junior Senior]

still standing by the 1 at a time reactive.  Just can't concentrate when playing 2.  I suppose the only way i could manage 2 would be to start another one when i get down to 3 in the first one thus staggering the stages i am in each as it is much easier to leave your concentration in the early stages.