Inappropriate Jokes and blonde

[The Camel]

When I was about 12 or 13 I was, like many kids of that age unsure of my sexuality. I knew I liked unusal bands for a kid of my age like Soft Cell and Culture Club and I also knew I had no strong attraction for girls.

I then made a huge gamble and confided in a lad who I considered my closest friend that I thought I might be gay.

13 year old's being what they are he told everyone.

The next 3 years of my life were misery. I was bullied mercilessly. I spent break times and lunch hours locked in a toilet cubicle to save the physical and mental abuse I suffered. It was the prelude to a serious case of depression which I suffered until my late 20's.

I was called "queer", "bent", "a shirtlifter" and every other possible form of abuse a homosexual can suffer.

As it turned out I am not a homosexual. I was just a late devolper and had no real interest in girls until my late teens. I was more interested in gambling and QPR than the opposite sex. But my abuse taught me a very sobering lesson.

To label someone as a gay, even in jest is not funny. It is a clear implication that being gay is different, even wrong. And that is just not acceptable in the 21st century. The reason so many homosexuals suffer a life of misery is their inability to come out because there is a life of torment waiting for them even from their close friends and family when they do come out.

The fact no footballer has ever declared their homosexuality is a sad indictment on Britsih society because any gay footballer would know what fate awaits them when they do come out.

Every time I see someone on blonde call someone else a poof a shiver runs down my spine. Noone would ever ridicule another for being disabled or whatever.

Being a homosexual is not something wrong. It is a just a fact. Can't we leave junevile and immature behaviour for the other poker fora?

[RED-DOG]

For the record. I agree entirely with ifm, Bongo, and Ariston (God help me).

Political correctness gone mad if you ask me.

Ok I admit that someone, somewhere, COULD be offended if he saw a post in which Kev refers to flushy as a big poof, but ffs, lets get real here.

What if anorexics get upset when we say Snoop is too thin, or scientists are offended by the phrase 'clever clogs’?

We will be scared of calling someone a fish soon, in case we alienate a haddock.

 

[Sark79]

The fact no footballer has ever declared their homosexuality is a sad indictment on Britsih society because any gay footballer would know what fate awaits them when they do come out.

 I thought Justin Fashanu did?

[The Baron]

The fact no footballer has ever declared their homosexuality is a sad indictment on Britsih society because any gay footballer would know what fate awaits them when they do come out.

 I thought Justin Fashanu did?

I don't think he did, but everyone knew anyway. Hence his death.

[stallyon]

When I was about 12 or 13 I was, like many kids of that age unsure of my sexuality. I knew I liked unusal bands for a kid of my age like Soft Cell and Culture Club and I also knew I had no strong attraction for girls.

I then made a huge gamble and confided in a lad who I considered my closest friend that I thought I might be gay.

13 year old's being what they are he told everyone.

The next 3 years of my life were misery. I was bullied mercilessly. I spent break times and lunch hours locked in a toilet cubicle to save the physical and mental abuse I suffered. It was the prelude to a serious case of depression which I suffered until my late 20's.

I was called "queer", "bent", "a shirtlifter" and every other possible form of abuse a homosexual can suffer.

As it turned out I am not a homosexual. I was just a late devolper and had no real interest in girls until my late teens. I was more interested in gambling and QPR than the opposite sex. But my abuse taught me a very sobering lesson.

To label someone as a gay, even in jest is not funny. It is a clear implication that being gay is different, even wrong. And that is just not acceptable in the 21st century. The reason so many homosexuals suffer a life of misery is their inability to come out because there is a life of torment waiting for them even from their close friends and family when they do come out.

The fact no footballer has ever declared their homosexuality is a sad indictment on Britsih society because any gay footballer would know what fate awaits them when they do come out.

Every time I see someone on blonde call someone else a poof a shiver runs down my spine. Noone would ever ridicule another for being disabled or whatever.

Being a homosexual is not something wrong. It is a just a fact. Can't we leave junevile and immature behaviour for the other poker fora?

i thoroughly concur. I wasnt bullied when i was younger for my sexuality but for my weight. when i was 14 I was 16 stone. 2 solid years of bullying ended up with me fully aware that everything and anything i ate was the result of my size. i developed an eating disorder and dropped to just over 8 stone by the time i was 16. i was very unhealthy and looked very ashen. It wasnt until a couple of close friends took me to one side and pushed me back onto the right track. I am now very much stocky but still keep a picture in my wallet of myself when i was waif like as a constant reminder that it isnt healthy to be thin.

[tikay]

When I was about 12 or 13 I was, like many kids of that age unsure of my sexuality. I knew I liked unusal bands for a kid of my age like Soft Cell and Culture Club and I also knew I had no strong attraction for girls.

I then made a huge gamble and confided in a lad who I considered my closest friend that I thought I might be gay.

13 year old's being what they are he told everyone.

The next 3 years of my life were misery. I was bullied mercilessly. I spent break times and lunch hours locked in a toilet cubicle to save the physical and mental abuse I suffered. It was the prelude to a serious case of depression which I suffered until my late 20's.

I was called "queer", "bent", "a shirtlifter" and every other possible form of abuse a homosexual can suffer.

As it turned out I am not a homosexual. I was just a late devolper and had no real interest in girls until my late teens. I was more interested in gambling and QPR than the opposite sex. But my abuse taught me a very sobering lesson.

To label someone as a gay, even in jest is not funny. It is a clear implication that being gay is different, even wrong. And that is just not acceptable in the 21st century. The reason so many homosexuals suffer a life of misery is their inability to come out because there is a life of torment waiting for them even from their close friends and family when they do come out.

The fact no footballer has ever declared their homosexuality is a sad indictment on Britsih society because any gay footballer would know what fate awaits them when they do come out.

Every time I see someone on blonde call someone else a poof a shiver runs down my spine. Noone would ever ridicule another for being disabled or whatever.

Being a homosexual is not something wrong. It is a just a fact. Can't we leave junevile and immature behaviour for the other poker fora?

Another breathtaking Post. This IS difficult, truly.

I mean, Camel ADMITS - openly, & honestly, bravely some would say - to being a QPR Supporter.

But to be serious, you have to admit, he has a point. It really is a "where do we draw the line" connundrum.

This is likely to end up as a "let's use our common-sense" jobbie, I suspect.

[Sark79]

I once called matt a guerilla by mistake.  My knowledge of primates is better now though

[ariston]

Keith-we do mock ironsides disabillity in a friendly way, not just because its online- when he came to blackpool I threatened to let his tyres down after he beat me in a pot. We mock mates keith, thats what we do. There is no malice in it. If people didn't take the mickey of me in some way or another then I would be worried, I would take it as not existing/mattering. When I first called mr nowab chubbs he hated it- now everyone knows him as chubbs. When I pointed out at walsall last week how Rob was going a little "friar" on top I got a reaction and found  a soft spot. Now whenever he is giving me stick for rerereresteals etc I will remind him about the baboons arse on the back of his head. Am I going to be stopped for being "baldist"?
Earlier on someone questioned if flushy was bisexual- does that mean if he wants sex he has to buy it?  

[RED-DOG]

One good thing though, whatever your opinion. On here you can debate it in a friendly manner, and that's what blonde is all about.

[The Baron]

One good thing though, whatever your opinion. On here you can debate it in a friendly manner, and that's what blonde is all about.

[Royal Flush]

I see Keith's point, i dont personally agree with it but thankfully its not my job to come to a judgement!

All i will say is if people cant call me gay does that mean that i cant refer to passive play as "playing like a girl?" Everyone knows i mean nothing by that but it makes 50% of the worlds population part of a joke.....far more than the gay population.

[Bongo]

The problem with Rod's idea is that not everyone who reads is signed up, so they may never see it...

[Rod Paradise]

Wow, Camel - I've never met you, but you've got my respect for having the courage to post that.

You've also got my sympathy for the hard time you took at school.

But, after reading it and thinking on it, I still disgree with you. I feel you're castigating the very people who would stand up against anything being truly derogatory towards homosexuality.

The way I think of it is this, if I go into a long lecture about how to cook the best Christmas dinner (which by the way I am the best at), in my local, I'll get told to stop being a big woman, or to stop being a poof. That's by my mates, which includes Alan the quite obviously gay air-steward. I don't consider either a major insult. If someone was to be vindictive to Alan and call him a poof, there'd be a queue to smack the offender & rag-doll him out of the pub.

The posters on here are hopefully like your mates in a pub.... I think your post will stop the comments, but I worry that next we'll not be allowed to slag Ironsides, Tikay, or even me. If Stallyon is upset by me or Kev being slated for being heavy, then I'm sure as his mates we'd avoid it, but I'd hope he'd understand, just as we'd avoid using that to slag him because he carries scars from being picked on. If anyone is offended by anything I say I hope they'd point it out & we'll sort it.

It's a difficult subject, especially when someone has got bad experiences, but I am scared of going too PC.

[The Camel]

Keith-we do mock ironsides disabillity in a friendly way, not just because its online- when he came to blackpool I threatened to let his tyres down after he beat me in a pot. We mock mates keith, thats what we do. There is no malice in it. If people didn't take the mickey of me in some way or another then I would be worried, I would take it as not existing/mattering. When I first called mr nowab chubbs he hated it- now everyone knows him as chubbs. When I pointed out at walsall last week how Rob was going a little "friar" on top I got a reaction and found  a soft spot. Now whenever he is giving me stick for rerereresteals etc I will remind him about the baboons arse on the back of his head. Am I going to be stopped for being "baldist"?
Earlier on someone questioned if flushy was bisexual- does that mean if he wants sex he has to buy it?  

Ironside won a pot? I find that very difficult to believe.

I find it very difficult to express in words why calling someone a poof in a derogatory way is so wrong.

It is probably the casual homophobia which cuts the deepest because it is such a bad reflection of the society we live in. There will always be extremist nutters and religious zealots who decree homosexuality and they are easy to deal with. But, when calling someone a poof as a casual put down is acceptable it is clear evidence that the person making the comment believs being a homosexul is something to be ashamed about. If it isn't, why make the comment in the first place?

It is very very easy to label what I think polital correctness. It is also extremely lazy. It is like calling someone a spaz or a nigger. Just not acceptable in my opinion.

[JungleCat03]

Humour is nearly all based of mockery or ridicule of some aspect of humanity. There's a broad spectrum of tone across this range of course, from gentle chiding to full-blown hostility but examine any joke closely and you will nearly always find some facet of our complex behaviour is being poked fun of to some degree.

That's life! It's the world we live in and the people that we are. I would hate a world devoid of jokes, humour and mockery. How empty and colourless that world would be.

It would be very easy to find fault with almost every post made, every sentence said and every joke made if you looked hard enough.

For instance Camel, in your post, (which by the way was a very good , impressively honest one) you refer to the tone of others as "juvenile." Implicit in this is the suggestion that juveniles' behaviour is reprehensible. I know quite a few intelligent young men and women who would disagree strongly with that.

But, in reality, we all know what you meant.

And that for me cuts to the heart of the matter. What is most important is the intention behind words. If someone is looking to deliberately hurt or cause offence with what they write or say then, yes this should be addressed and curtailed.  But if people are engaging in friendly "banter" or making jokes in a sole attempt to add a little fun to others' lives, then let it lie.

Sometimes the line between acceptable and unacceptable is thinly trod. Therein debate, not censure should be the weapon of choice.