"You've had my bracelet on for 3 months now Tikay, can I have it back please?" "Sigh, what happened to human decency?" |
now come on "RAINMAN" whats the next card? |
im telling you that ill have no problem taking you outside if you dont shut it you slag |
Look Lawrence, Snoopy's at the bar....... |
Look into the eyes, not around the eyes, look into my eyes, 3 2 1 your under. |
Hurry up and take the photo, the Kylie waxwork is much more appealing, who is this guy anyway? |
see him thats that famous bloke off the telly |
"This Camera follows me around all the time you know" |
and thats colchester kev at the bar |
for christ sake stop starin at the dealers nipples - HE doesnt like it |
Don't even think about it Son, she'd rip you in two |
"They all think I'm a weak/tight fish" explained Saint Kendall "but when I pass I'm just showing some human decency to those people unfortunate enough to have worse hands than me." |
I will get you thrown out if you continue to do that impression of Col Kev! |
Oi, Gosney. I run a firm called the blondites. I raise, you pass. Got it. |
Lawrence is put into stunned shock after Tikay says "pull my finger" |
"Seriously, go ask them, a straight beats a flush if the player holding the straight is over 90 years ol"d |
You've got the right build to be a Mod, how'd you look in a dress? |
NOW SHE DOES HAVE A GOOD PAIR |
and that is clochester kev |
*Evil Tikay voice* "Destroy him!!!" Slow witted reply; "Yes, Master" |
you know L.G., I invented that thing called a clock and dont you forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
"Look into his eyes, not around the eyes. Look into his eyes. Gosney, you are tight, passive and weak" |
Tikay remarks to Lawrence that a streaking campaign may not be the best way for Mr Mallu to get his ban overturned. |
go and tell my missus the fags r no mine |
"That woman slept with me last night" |
Look at that! Flushy is still in! |
Take your eyes off that naked go go girl and concentrate on your game |
SMELL MY FINGER!!! |
I told you he had big guns.... Now leave my blind alone!! |
He said i looked young |
Lou asks, now thats the dealer , Andy replies , yeah i know |
Unfortunately for Lawrence, Tikay has just finished reading "Hypnotism For Dummies) |
"Two hours into a classic Tikay anecdote and Lawrence's soul finally leaves his body" |
Oh shit, he has started on the trains again! |
If we were at Broadway now, Raj would throw him out ! |
Attendances had improved since they started wheeling round the sweet trolley... |
Now Lawrence. That was just one finger, deep breaths and relax. |
Look into my eyes, the eyes the eyes! Dont look around the eyes, 3 2 1 your under. Tikay is saying ' He got me with that one last week' |
Sir Lawrence is struck dumb about stories of Tikay's only raise of the year |
TK: Got my bracelet down at Ratners... how about you? |
"Remember, no matter what they tell you...........I'm not a fish.......I really can play poker................ 3 - 2 - 1.... you're back in the room!! " |
I'm telling yer,forget added value.....pole dancing with poker is the way forward |
I told you about that guy, flushy is always "at it" |
If you raise my blinds once more were going outside! |
How can colch-kev eat that many pies |
"Now you pull my finger." |
Kev thought it was fancy dress! |
Tikay "My car's outside fancy a spot of dogging?" |
"I can do E.T. but it's not a patch on your Droopy." |
"Show me that face you pulled when I shoved this finger up your arse the last time you outdrew me." |
The Updaters' new technique for getting players to look up for photos needed some work. Jen exposed a bit too much flesh, leaving Gosney dumbstruck, and the Old Guy's past all that anyway. |
I'm going to count to three and you'll wake up, go to Las Vegas and win a WSOP bracelet |
Tikay points out his lunch has arrived, and lawrence registers his shock at seeing a "meals on wheels"trolley approaching. |
Now, that's a pair of tits |
On Tikay's birthday, lawrence watches the towering inferno in horror as tikay comments "One candle per decade was always gonna be a fire hazard!" |
theres a fly there lawrance ,get it. |
"When i click my fingers you will see my name as chip leader! Ready 1,2,3....." |
The toilets are over there, just follow he/she/it Pink Dog. |
"When I count to three, you will believe you are an Ostich with an insatiable desire for THAT Beagle." |
I would close that mouth if I were you, LOOK!!! The 16.20 from Brighton is coming this way. |
I'll ignore him. Thats what i'll do |
" yes, that's me on TV see" |
Pull my finger again pleeeeez...I promise this one wont be such a stinker. |
next time you raises his blind he,, will stare you out!!!!! |
"no need to luck star struck son,there here to film me not you,i tell ya!! "" |
If you say i'm that rubbish old bloke from the tv again i'll set Snoopy's guns on ya! |
Tikay - "It wasn't me who just rubbed your leg it was him, honest" |
Having failed to take Lawrence's chips the conventional way, Tikay resorts to the old fashioned trick of "Look! A Monkey with a gun!" |
Wow, that guy you know really did win Casino Casino. |
" Did you know, that guy there is really a woman " |
now I told you "just look into the eyes not round the eyes just into the eyes......" |
trying to console some1 badly stunned after a bad beat with a pull my finger gag is standard procedure at blonde poker. |
If you don't behave I'll get my mate Snati to sit on you |
as yet another unsuspecting victim falls into a coma, whilst being given the "benefit" of some fatherly advice |
The toilet paper in here is wafer thin, go on, take a sniff... |
"of course i could have been a (bracelet) contender you know............" |
Lawrence looks on in disbelief as tikay points out that the new security guard is a certain floppy eared Beagle |