What would u do? (lending $$$ to a poker friend)

[iceman]

i dont think you gain or soften the blow by sharing this hurt on a public forum but thats me as an individual,others may have a different outlook. i dont need others to tell me how bad ive been treated,its self evident. if as i do you dont think theres anything to be gained in warning people i further see no reason. this doesnt mean i dont understand or sympathise. so what advice am i looking for or likely to gain other than peoples agreement that ive been hard done by?

[AdamM]

someone taking $50k swings obviously HAS got a serious gambling problem and is right to seek treatment. plus side for Brian is it's a cut from what must have been a huge BJ winning streak rather than out of his life savings. It's all relative I suppose but it has to get chalked up to experience. Just turns the stomach of little guys like us to think of $50k swings

[ariston]

Live and learn from it mate and don't lose sleep over money- worse things in life

write it off and then if you ever do get it back it will be a bonus (as you aren't likely to see it again if you are honest with yourself its pointless getting upset about it)

[Mango99]

That sucks. I know the feeling - I'm still chasing £3k I lent to a player in September 2006, who even when cashing for some fairly huge sums - e.g. $100k, has been unable to pay me back! Rude beyond belief.

I think this thread serves a purpose in that it acts as a good warning to others not to lend money in the casino environment. It seems there are many stories of players borrowing money off 'friends' and conveniently forgetting to pay it back.

[Woodsey]

I just couldn't comprehend lending that amount of money even to my own brother let alone a gambling aquaintance. I hope you get something back.

[Digger]

Having once lost £1k in this situation I have now adopted  ...don't borrow - don't lend. All of my friends know this & as a result they never would ask. I hope you at least get some of your dosh back fella.

[fearisthekey]

I just couldn't comprehend lending that amount of money even to my own brother let alone a gambling aquaintance. I hope you get something back.

If I'm winning big (seldom) I get very generous all of a sudden also, being on a high I guess. As an Ultimate Bet poker player I have the pleasure of being begged at EVERY DAY (wtf), was on a massive rush in a cash game and considered giving in to the pestering stranger. He was only asking for a 20th of my winnings, so it seemed rude not to, hell an hour ago it wasn't even my money. Just say 'no'....

[kano]

Wow, to wait 2 years is insane, I would be aggressively pursuing this debt. To see others in the thread that have been stiffed by poker 'friends' does not surprise me in the slightest, a common theme across all the continents.

[kano]

Iceman, please put the pipe down.... Regardless of the specifics of Brian's situation, it is important to get the message out there to amateurs coming into the poker world that this is a common story on the circuit. I don't know whether you play the circuit etc. but it is cliquey. People see you winning and they are keen to welcome a naive hotshot into the group, players get overwhelmed and leaned on to throw a couple of thousand here or loan me for a week because it is the 'done' thing between a huge majority of players. Some of these guys are out to suck money from anyone who, in most cases, are nice guys looking to help out a friend in need. It is a vicious circle and can get very messy.

[Mango99]

Brian, do you believe the story that your mate is being treated for a gambling problem? Or do you think this is a sob story to get out of paying you the cash?

I heard one perpetual loan-asker use the same excuse (of a certain relative dying the day before) 3 times in seperate months (to the same guy!) when trying to secure another swift £250.

[fearisthekey]

Iceman, please put the pipe down.... Regardless of the specifics of Brian's situation, it is important to get the message out there to amateurs coming into the poker world that this is a common story on the circuit. I don't know whether you play the circuit etc. but it is cliquey. People see you winning and they are keen to welcome a naive hotshot into the group, players get overwhelmed and leaned on to throw a couple of thousand here or loan me for a week because it is the 'done' thing between a huge majority of players. Some of these guys are out to suck money from anyone who, in most cases, are nice guys looking to help out a friend in need. It is a vicious circle and can get very messy.

reading just a few books I was amazed at how much talk there is of this guy going broke and borrowing off that guy for a bit just maybe 20 grand. Ungar for example, so many people repeatedly buying into his action.

[Mango99]

forget about it and have better judgement not to speak publicly about it again

Surely speaking publicly about the issue has nothing to do with it. A fair few people in this predicament would feel quite happy to name and shame, Brain hasn't done that....

Why are these people never named and shamed?

[suzanne]

My opinion Brian is that if this guy was on a loosing streak and borrowed $50k of you then he has likely borrowed from others too and winning $52k may have been a drop in the ocean to what he actually owes.

Even if you are the only person he owed money, giving you back $50k would leave him with $2k and virtually no bankroll at all (im assuming hes a big time player). To be gambling at those kind of stakes when broke he obviously has a problem and would undoubtedly want to use the $52k to chase his lost cash and most likely playing on tilt. Its pretty inevitable playing under that kind of pressure he is unlikely to win.

I would have a word with him and say "I know you are going through a bad spell, you were good enough to give me a loan when I needed it and I look forward to the day I see you comeback on form, dont worry about the money I know you will pay me back when you can"

You cant get blood out of a stone so you may never get your money back but he is more likely to pay you before Joe Bloggs who threatened to shoot his kneecaps.

[tantrum]

i tried to make a point here earlier and i really should take far more time in conveying my point as i believe im much (or the attitude im trying to get across is much misunderstood),so here goes,In the long run were all at some stage  taken,i reckon how you deal with it is far more important than any recompense you ,may recieve whatevever way of remuneration if any is open to you or not as the case may be. im far more worried with how i deal with this,this was a
trusted and obviously valued friend-what likeness would you compare that  u would hurt so much you would choose to publicly denegrate because poker is a very closed community and who u know i know. so if your wife husband had BETRAYED you or similar would you chose to to disclose this would be known,are we really here for this , i dont think so.

Comparing unpaid debt to marital betrayal is bit overdramatic.

wsopin07 hasn't done anything wrong so why having a dig at him?

[vegaslover]

1) I could hire someone to take care of it!
2) I could cause trouble for my "friend"
3) I could just forget about it!

The reason I posted the question is that this "friend" had duped  me and I thought I could get some simple advice and start a discussion about loaning money to friends !

If someone learns from my mistake I would be happy to know that I helped someone else avoid something that really sucks. Its not just about the $$$$ either, it sucks that he would win $52K and not even think of paying me back!

1 and 2.
They guy's no friend, probably had something to do with your room being broken into. If he was that desperate for money I wouldn't put it past him.