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Author Topic: Latest from the BB (Barred Blondes) house  (Read 31485 times)
sofa----king
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« Reply #75 on: June 22, 2007, 11:05:59 PM »

dont tell.,im trying to get out tonight ive just put my cammo on youd think i was a plant.,.,.,.,,,.,.,.crazy horse thinks im a mare and he looks like he wants some fun.,.,.,.,.,.,.,
picture of ram to follow




class thread btw
« Last Edit: June 22, 2007, 11:14:41 PM by sofa----king » Logged

one two buckle my shoe,three four,i wish i had velcro
sofa----king
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« Reply #76 on: June 22, 2007, 11:14:09 PM »

dont tell.,im trying to get out tonight ive just put my cammo on youd think i was a plant.,.,.,.,,,.,.,.crazy horse thinks im a mare and he looks like he wants some fun.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

i just thought i aint banned lol.,.,.but id like to be if it brings me fame and fortune,.,.



class thread btw
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one two buckle my shoe,three four,i wish i had velcro
sofa----king
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« Reply #77 on: June 22, 2007, 11:42:19 PM »

its not just talk ram is really a crazy horsey/rammy/cowy/girly/lumberjacky/
hey hes just crazy ok.,.,.,,.,and he keeps looking at me.,.,.,
oh yeah.,.,.and hes been tango-d
« Last Edit: June 22, 2007, 11:46:58 PM by sofa----king » Logged

one two buckle my shoe,three four,i wish i had velcro
KingPoker
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« Reply #78 on: June 22, 2007, 11:44:00 PM »

its not just talk ram is really a crazy horsey/rammy/cowy/girly/lumberjacky/
hey hes just crazy ok.,.,.,,.,and he keeps looking at me.,.,.,

The scariest picture i have ever seen, and i have seen one of tikay sleeping!!!
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« Reply #79 on: June 22, 2007, 11:53:36 PM »

Written by Jungle Cat
Illustrated by sofa---king
Who could ask for more?

 
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Embracing the variance.
sofa----king
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« Reply #80 on: June 22, 2007, 11:55:40 PM »

Written by Jungle Cat
Illustrated by sofa---king
Who could ask for more?

 
Illustrated by sofa---king .,.,what does this mean???
i feel like that kid on the adds.,.,.with a triangle on his head.,.,
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« Reply #81 on: June 23, 2007, 02:29:06 AM »

Brilliant stuff   
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« Reply #82 on: June 23, 2007, 06:09:06 PM »

more more
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The very last hand of the night goes to Dewi James, who finds ACES and talks Raymond O’Mahoney into calling his all-in preflop bet of 15k.  “If I had AQ, I’d call!” says Dewi.  Raymond calls holding pocket 66’s.


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« Reply #83 on: June 23, 2007, 06:14:07 PM »

its not just talk ram is really a crazy horsey/rammy/cowy/girly/lumberjacky/
hey hes just crazy ok.,.,.,,.,and he keeps looking at me.,.,.,
oh yeah.,.,.and hes been tango-d

Sheer brilliance,

Hope you'll still be contributing from Cyprus

Geo
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« Reply #84 on: June 24, 2007, 05:05:31 AM »

Whats going on in the house.  Can i smuggle a food parcel in for flushy.
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« Reply #85 on: June 24, 2007, 10:48:53 AM »

Woohoo I made it in the house.
 

I haven't been around this week as I have been in Scotland (no tv cameras) and Brum for Sky (definite tv cameras) 

I will post more, but first I must fill in my application for the new tv show Food Poker ( I jest not  Cheesy )
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« Reply #86 on: June 24, 2007, 11:54:46 AM »


DEE FOUR IN THA BEEG BROOOTHA HOOSE.  2 NEW HOOSEMATES MATT "demon" MYSTERY721 and TOTALISE HAVE JOINED THE UTHERS IN THA HOOSE. BIG BROOTHA HAS GIVEN THE HOUSEMATES SOME CARDS AND POKER CHIPS TO ORGANISE A POKER GAME. THA WINNER OF TONIGHT'S GAME WILL CHOOSE HOW TO SPEND THE GROUP'S SHOPPING BOODGET.



[Nemesis and Matt Mystery721 are talking alone in the bedroom. ]

Nemesis: I hope you're not thinking of playing in the big game tonight...

MATT MYSTERY721: [thinking] He's as close to a friend as there is in this place

MATT MYSTERY721: Ya. After coming 14th in the ladbrokes league, I've gotta be a big favourite.

NEMESIS: Matt, you shouldn't play these guys. They'll chew you up, take the food out of your mouth.

MATT MYSTERY721: So you say...

NEMESIS: What say we get outta here, grab some coffee, ride over to that soft scrabble game with Sofa King in the garden - Bolt's not going near it since his hayfever kicked in, he sneezes in 8 syllables - hell on his nostrils?

MATT MYSTERY721: It's not a pipedream. Listen I never told anyone this but I was in the Dog and Duck one time, it's late and Sonny Chan, the guy who finished 13th in the ladbrokes league, walks in. The whole place stops and everyone's looking over, me, Tipsy Ted, the bored barmaid - everyone. He sits at the table with a deck of cards and some chips. You know what I did? I sat down with him. I had to know.

Nemesis: What happened?

MATT MYSTERY721: We play a 50p heads up game and I just decide I don't care about the money, I'm just gonna outplay this guy. Played tight for an hour, then I win a pot

Nemesis: What with Aces? flopped a set?

MATT MYSTERY: Rags I had nohting. He riased, I re-raised, he calls. Flop comes AKK I bet, he raises, trying to bully me like I'm some fucking tourist, I reraise. He moves towards his chips, looks me in the eye, looks at his cards, had a little chuckle and said "only against you mystery" and folds Aces face up. He asks "did you have it?" "I'm sorry Sonny I don't remember", but I was a bit pissed and while sweeping up the chips I accidentally kncoked over my cards and showed my pocket Kings.

Nemesis: LOL yes very very well played.

MAtt Mystery: Yeh he had out but never got to see another card. Sweet.

Nemesis: So did you have the chip lead and go on to win.

MM721: Nah he still had me outchipped 15-1 and he won when I passed my BB despite being allin cos there was no way I was playing AK to a raise. But I knew I could cut it with the best.




TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT: COULD FLOOSHY AND TOTALISE PLEASE COOM TO THE DIARY ROOM.

[FLUSHY PUTS DOWN HIS MARMITE ON TOAST and glass of vodka red bull AND ENTERS THE DIARY ROOM with TOTALISE]

BEEG BROOTHA: Hello flushy and TOTALISE. Could you go into some detail on the poker strategy you will be employing tonight?

TOTALISE: I intend to study my opponents, see their patterns. Do they steal from position? Are they aggressive? Can I bully their blinds? Have they got a tell? What sort of hands do they like? Am i getting the correct odds? What's the tournament position? Is flushy distracted by a scissor sister's song coming on his I-pod? What's my table image, is it time to graduate my aggression increasingly according to the blind to average stack ratio? For starters....

BEEG BROOTHA: thanks and you flushy?

Flushy: LOL donkaments. Insta-push, insta-ship.

BEEG BROOTHA: Thanks.


[Housemates are gathered at the table for the game]

Beeg Brootha: Shoofle oop and deal!

IFM: Right I'm leaving the Asbo Analyzer switched on next to BOLT so he doesn't try and bamboozle us. GOOD LUCK ALL.

HOUSMATES: GOOD LUCK

BOLT: Bon chance, may a veritable abundance of positive prosperity befall you all.

AA MACHINE: GOOD LUCK GEEZERS.

[IFM deals from the button, mystery posts the small blind and nemesis the BB]

Flushy: insta-call
 
BOLT:   I care to relocate the requisite number of chips from within the confines of my  stack, beyond the extremeties of the line demarcating the area betwixt the arena of the game and my own meagre assemblage of tokens.

AA MACHINE: I call.

TOTALISE : I RAISE 200.

IFM: IM ALLIN

MYSTERY: PASS

NEMESIS: IM ALLIN

FLUSHY: VALOOOOOOOOOO...IM ALLIN

BOLT: Whilst committing such an enormous extent of my stack to a hand at such an early stage of proceedings seems to sit uncomfortably with my notions of appropriate SNG strategy and chip stack conservation, nonetheless I feel obliged to do so, as I currently am in possession of an exceptional holding.

AA MACHINE: F**K it, IM ALLLLLLIN YOU SLAGS.

TOTALISE: *SIGH* Variance. I call.

[Players turn their hands over TOTALISE has AA, BOLT HAS AA, NEMESIS HAS KK, IFM HAS KK, Flushy has 52s. IFM deals the cards, the board comes 346s and Flushy takes down the monster pot witha  straight flush.]

TOTALISE/ NEMESIS/ IFM: FFS RIGGED!

BOLT: Flushy, I find the nature of your call to be thoroughly reprehensible. There was neither the need nor the requirement to gamble so foolhardedly. I must cast doubt upon the dubious background of your parentage, and suggest some sort of canine association to be prevalent in your ancestry.

AA MACHINE: Fu**ing b****rd, son of a bitch.

[Flushy has 10,000 chips to mystery's 2000. 10 rounds of 50 100 later with flushy moiving in eveyr hand flushy has 11500 to mystery's 400]

[Flushy posts BB, mystery posts sb. Mystery min riases to 200.]

Flushy: LOL positionraise-aments. Insta-call.

Flop comes  A 9 3.

Flushy: check.

[MYSTERY bets 100. Flushy calls]

Turn is a 9.

Flushy: check-aments

Mystery: Check's good. [thinks]He's shown strength by calling my min riase and my min bet. His range is AA or 99. I have AA so Im gonna rule that out, so i guess his only holding is quads. I hope he checks it down

River is an 8.

FLUSHY: I don't think you've got a pair. INSTA-PUSH.

[mystery twiddles his chip for what seems like an hour before folding]

FLUSHY; [shows 2c4s] LOL nutlo-aments with the Jack Bauer. SHIPPETH IT.

[2 minutes later flushy wins the tournament]

Flushy: YAY I choose the food!

Nemesis: Oh no, please dont, we can't live off that flushy.

Flushy: Marmite bread vodka red bull. What more do we need. SHIP HOLLA!
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« Reply #87 on: June 24, 2007, 12:01:14 PM »

Still brilliant!
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« Reply #88 on: June 24, 2007, 12:06:40 PM »

I have no idea how you think these up but they are bloody good..x
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« Reply #89 on: June 24, 2007, 12:08:42 PM »

Loving it
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