blonde poker forum
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 13, 2020, 08:15:24 AM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
2252402 Posts in 66527 Topics by 16823 Members
Latest Member: FearneJacobs
* Home Help Arcade Search Calendar Guidelines Login Register
+  blonde poker forum
|-+  Poker Forums
| |-+  The Rail
| | |-+  Best of blonde
| | | |-+  Latest from the BB (Barred Blondes) house
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 Go Down Print
Author Topic: Latest from the BB (Barred Blondes) house  (Read 31486 times)
JungleCat03
Insidious underminer
Learning Centre Group
Hero Member
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 4270



View Profile WWW
« Reply #60 on: June 22, 2007, 11:48:28 AM »


Dee Three In the Beeg Brootha hoose. A new hoosemeet has been sent into the hoose. The uther hoosements are gathered in the living room to greet them...

Nemesis: Oooh hope they've sent us in a nice hot chick like Isabelle Mercier!

IFM: As long as it's not that Vicky Coren. I mean she's knocking on a bit these days. Talk about over rated!

SOFA KING: Knocking on? She's 26 isn't she?

IFM: EXACTLY!


[Doors open and in walks Indestructable Ed]


Ed: Hi GUYS I'm Ed! [slowly turns to face the nearest camera. Flicks hair]
You may remember me from such gameshows as Casino Casino and The Weakest Link. [winks]


Flushy/Nemesis/IFM/SofaKing: *sigh* HI Ed

Bolt: wotcha mate

[housemates all turn and face BOLT]

Flushy/IFM: Huh?

Nemesis: Sorry Bolt? No "Salutations" ? No "congratulations for the supplementation of our social syndicate?" What's wrong with you man?

Bolt: DONT KNOW geez, feel a bit ill like. Got banged on the bonce by the big lad, Sofa King, when we was playin scrabble...

Sofa King: Well we were playing in the kitchen and he was takin the piss! I had some blank tiles so managed to finally get a word p,,,i,,n and he said  "commiserations, i cannot assent to the veracity of such a declaration. You have exceeded the boundaries of taste and correct grammar and as such I must dismiss your invalid invocation"

Load of b*****cks obviously. I used IFM's ASBO ANALYZER and it said "Pull the other one you muppet, it's got bells on son" so I lost it and twatted him on the head with a nearby mustard jar!

Flushy: LOL condiments!

Ed: Ahhh, yes this is quite common behaviour. On the previous game shows I've been on, often contestants get a little narky with each other. I remember when I was on 15-1, I was telling another contestant about the time I was on Countdown when I told Carol Vorderman a funny story about when I was on Eggheads, when another contestant had a pop at me for "showing off" Haha AS IF!

IFM: Ed, you're not even looking at us.

Ed: [completely facing camera] Yep some people are just too wrapped up in their own affairs to notice how many gameshows I've been on.

[sounds of booing and shouting are heard from outside]

[IFM, Nemesis, Flushy and BOLT rush into the garden, leaving Ed talking to the camera]

[Loud jeering and angry shouting is heard from beyond the garden wall]


RANDOM VOICE : BOO, Get IFM OUT. Coren's HOT, IFM's NOT!

RANDOM VOICE [shouting]: IFM sucks more than a toddler and it's not even close.

IFM: What the heck have I done?

TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT: HOOSEMEETS, THIS EES BEEG BROOTHA. A LARGE MOB FROM HENDON HAS GATHERED OOOTSIDE THE HOOSE. PLEASE GET INTA THE HOOSE WHILE WE SORT IT OUT.

Flushy: LOL Mobaments!

Nemesis: Oops IFM, you should never have had a pop at Vicky!

Bolt: Those nob-jockeys want a rumble, they'd better be tooled up to the eyes, cos I'm in the mood to crack some skulls geezer. [picks up nearby stick and repeatedly bashes into palm of his hand]

"BRING IT ON YOU SLAAAAAGSSSS"

[Large rock is thrown over the wall and lands on bolt's head]


BOLT [EYES SPINNING]

NEMESIS: You ok pal?

BOLT: Hmm, I would conjecture that the acute contusion received by the propulsion of the lapidarian projectile has precipitated a regression to my previous verbose state.

IFM: *sigh* Presses button on ASBO ANALYZER.

MACHINE: Bang on the 'ead 'as sorted me right out guv!

RANDOM VOICE: NEIGH NEIGH A WIBBLE A WIBBLE NEIGH.

BOLT: It would appear we are under imminent threat of assault by a psychotic, equine assailant. Prudence would suggest retreat to our humble domicile as our most desirable recourse.

IFM: [Presses button on ASBO ANALYZER]

MACHINE: F***ING LEG IT, HERE COMES CRAZY HORSE!

[Large four-legged mammal, frothing liberally from its mouth is propelled over the wall into the garden and runs at the housemates]

IFM/ NEMESIS/ BOLT/ FLUSHY: RUNNNNNNNNNNNN

[Housemates run into the house, slamming the glass door behind them. They look out into the garden and see the horse's foaming mouth pressed up against the glass]


IFM: Maybe he fancies a round of golf?
Logged

"In darker days Jason Robinson found God. But that was after God found Jason Robinson."
Colchester Kev
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 34181



View Profile
« Reply #61 on: June 22, 2007, 11:53:56 AM »

Flushy: LOL condiments!

Genuine LOL moment ..... 
Logged

Sleep don't visit, so I choke on sun
And the days blur into one
And the backs of my eyes hum with things I've never done

http://colchesterkev.wordpress.com/


kevshep2010@hotmail.co.uk
Geo the Sarge
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 5514



View Profile
« Reply #62 on: June 22, 2007, 12:00:54 PM »

Flushy: LOL condiments!

Genuine LOL moment ..... 

Wot he says.

Logged

When you get..........give. When you learn.......teach
kinboshi
ROMANES EUNT DOMUS
Administrator
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 44298


We go again.


View Profile WWW
« Reply #63 on: June 22, 2007, 12:01:09 PM »

Flushy: LOL condiments!

Genuine LOL moment ..... 

Made me laugh out loud in my office.  I'm now getting some funny looks.

Logged

'The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry.'
Sheriff Fatman
Global Moderator
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 6044



View Profile
« Reply #64 on: June 22, 2007, 12:02:10 PM »

I keep fearing that this will get less funny as it progresses.

I keep being wrong.

Surely the arrival of a savage horse into the garden means Sark is nearby!
Logged

"...And If You Flash Him A Smile He'll Take Your Teeth As Deposit..."
"Sheriff Fatman" - Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine

2006 Blonde Caption Comp Ultimate Champion (to be replaced by actual poker achievements when I have any)

GUKPT Online Main Event Winner 2008 (yay, a poker achievement!)
booder
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 12255


Lazy , Hazy days


View Profile WWW
« Reply #65 on: June 22, 2007, 12:10:37 PM »

Quality Rod.......Quality
Logged

Quote from: action man
im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr
tikay
Administrator
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: I am a geek!!



View Profile
« Reply #66 on: June 22, 2007, 12:15:41 PM »

The best BY FAR.

I thought this was so funny....

SOFA KING: Knocking on? She's 26 isn't she?

IFM: EXACTLY!


Until I read tjhe rest - the whole thing is superb-ament.
Logged

All details of the 2016 Vegas Staking Adventure can be found via this link - http://bit.ly/1pdQZDY (copyright Anthony James Kendall, 2016).
The_nun
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 8451


http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk


View Profile
« Reply #67 on: June 22, 2007, 12:20:27 PM »

Absolutly top stuff.......xxxxxxx
Logged

AlexMartin
spewtards r us
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 8045


rat+rabbiting society of herts- future champ


View Profile WWW
« Reply #68 on: June 22, 2007, 12:22:03 PM »

Really really good. Mightily impressed with your work JC.

 We should do a real Blonde BB online and let ppl vote for small amounts. Obviously to give to charity, or to fund the BlueSQ boys gambling addictions.
Logged
Dewi_cool
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 9975


Dusk Till Dawn - It's like going home


View Profile
« Reply #69 on: June 22, 2007, 12:40:40 PM »

da iawn
Logged

The very last hand of the night goes to Dewi James, who finds ACES and talks Raymond O’Mahoney into calling his all-in preflop bet of 15k.  “If I had AQ, I’d call!” says Dewi.  Raymond calls holding pocket 66’s.


Maddog
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 214


A.K.A TerminAcer


View Profile WWW
« Reply #70 on: June 22, 2007, 12:46:10 PM »

Top class 
Logged



Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink
Tonji
They got a name for all the winners in the world. I want a name when I lose.
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 5586



View Profile WWW
« Reply #71 on: June 22, 2007, 01:29:45 PM »

keeps getting better 
Logged

http://www.photonet.org.uk/

They got a name for all the winners in the world. I want a name when I lose.
Karabiner
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 22040


30 million light-years away


View Profile
« Reply #72 on: June 22, 2007, 02:58:46 PM »

I'm hooked, can't wait for tomorrow's installment 
Logged

"Very few people achieve pure contentment and even then it's usually just to taunt an ex"

Frankie Boyle
Djinn
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 13541


I'm much bigger in real life


View Profile
« Reply #73 on: June 22, 2007, 04:23:27 PM »

LOL Compliments.
Logged

boldie
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 22416


Don't make me mad


View Profile WWW
« Reply #74 on: June 22, 2007, 09:46:36 PM »

lol..class...top top class!
Logged

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 Go Up Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.225 seconds with 21 queries.