Tables - the Rude the Bad and the Downright Ugly

[Ismene]

A question for you all...

I have come to poker with an almost religious zeal - a fervour if you will and yet etiquette is still an area of mystery.

How rude can one be without it being more than trashtalk?

Can I rely on having busoms - be it live or on line - to protect me from any criticisms - Or should I simply adopt a screen name - which no one can reproach?

Can i get personal and share details of peoples lives with complete strangers  - and i mean facts such as what they do for a living - ridiculing what I speculate the said person earns and belittling them without any facts to back up my statements -  without having to apologise - and can I laugh when someone who has voiced their discomfort at said behaviour - is knocked out?

I guess my question is - where is the boundary on what is acceptable behaviour at a table: When would you class it as someone who clearly has no social skills whatsoever and should have that fact pointed out to them; Or someone who is just downright rude and clearly rather ignorant?

I would love to know - as i experienced some truly rude behaviour on line the other day - and wanted to know what my rights were - can i report them. OR should I just accept that some people are narrow minded and petty. Your thoughts and comments will be devoured with an ecclesiastical ardour.

[sovietsong]

Firstly your post is a delight to read.  I can be an abusive person at the tables when i get a terrible beat or if somebody starts to "give it the big un" at the table.  The best thing you can do when you are faced with narrow minded moron like me is to simply tell me to grow up or ignore me as i turn abusive banter into an edge by un-nerving or getting under another players skin.

edit-  i am not all that abusive at the tables and feel that my orginal post may show me in a bad light therefore i have made alterations!

[Geo the Sarge]

Hi Skrikera,

This seems to be an ever increasing problem, not only in poker but in all parts of life.

No-one should be subjected to this type of verbal abuse, and in most cases there are steps that can be taken.

In the case of online poker I would have no hesitation in reporting what I considered innappropriate behaviour to the appropriate moderator. I think you will find that most sites will take action.

Not sure if they can read back on chats or whether you would need someone else who was playing at the table to support your complaint.

I was playing an online tourney a while back where three of us agreed through the chat box to report an individual for there inappropriate behaviour.

In the case of live games, there will always be a TD/manager available to report this to. All Casinos do take a hard line on anyone they consider to be out of order.

The more that these incidents are reported, the more will be done about it and gradually this should be weeded out.

Never have second thoughts as to whether you should report. if it offends you - report it.

Look forward to meeting you again soon and say Hi to Rookie and Turney.

geo

[sovietsong]

I certainly agree, some people take the chat box "abuse" too far.  When i talk about abuse i am talking about calling another player a fish or questioning a call.  People that take things too far deserve to be punished especially if you are made to feel uncomfortable.

[Ismene]

Hi Skrikera,

This seems to be an ever increasing problem, not only in poker but in all parts of life.

No-one should be subjected to this type of verbal abuse, and in most cases there are steps that can be taken.

In the case of online poker I would have no hesitation in reporting what I considered innappropriate behaviour to the appropriate moderator. I think you will find that most sites will take action.

Not sure if they can read back on chats or whether you would need someone else who was playing at the table to support your complaint.

I was playing an online tourney a while back where three of us agreed through the chat box to report an individual for there inappropriate behaviour.

In the case of live games, there will always be a TD/manager available to report this to. All Casinos do take a hard line on anyone they consider to be out of order.

The more that these incidents are reported, the more will be done about it and gradually this should be weeded out.

Never have second thoughts as to whether you should report. if it offends you - report it.

Look forward to meeting you again soon and say Hi to Rookie and Turney.

geo

Thanks sweetie - will pass on your regards - and thank you for the post - to be honest I was shocked as they were female and I just didnt know how to respond once it got nasty...
I should say I assume they were female - due to what they said

[totalise]

Can I rely on having busoms - be it live or on line - to protect me from any criticisms

of course not.. this is the age of equality

Can i get personal and share details of peoples lives with complete strangers  - and i mean facts such as what they do for a living - ridiculing what I speculate the said person earns and belittling them without any facts to back up my statements -  without having to apologise - and can I laugh when someone who has voiced their discomfort at said behaviour - is knocked out?

this seems enormously pathetic, why do you think someones earning power is a mark on their character, and why would you laugh at someone when they are knocked out, just because they think your behaviour is rediculous (which it would be if you did what you said)

I guess my question is - where is the boundary on what is acceptable behaviour at a table: When would you class it as someone who clearly has no social skills whatsoever and should have that fact pointed out to them; Or someone who is just downright rude and clearly rather ignorant?

you can either ignore then and take the moral highground, or you can be equally rude and equally ignorant, and thus taking yourself down to their level. If you think what they are doing is wrong, then you doing the same isn't right just because they did it first. that kind of thinking should have died once you went from single digit to double digits in age.

would love to know - as i experienced some truly rude behaviour on line the other day - and wanted to know what my rights were - can i report them. OR should I just accept that some people are narrow minded and petty. Your thoughts and comments will be devoured with an ecclesiastical ardour.

You can report them, o you can accept that they are petty, or you can be as petty as they are. Its up to you to decide what you think is acceptable and what isn't, but if you start being pathetic like they are, then it means you are no better then them.

I realise that "you" in the context of this post probably doesn't actually refer to you, but given the perspective you wrote the post in, it seemed best to respond in kind.

****************************************************************

I certainly agree, some people take the chat box "abuse" too far.  When i talk about abuse i am talking about calling another player a fish or questioning a call.  People that take things too far deserve to be punished especially if you are made to feel uncomfortable.

many people already think this is taking things too far, do you think that people that play poker for enjoyment should be subject to such turgid nonsense in the chatbox? Who are you to call someone a fish or ask them why they called? they called because they wanted to, thats all you need to know.

[sovietsong]

I find that when people start to get really nasty it is better not to respond, and simply report anything which you think is over the line.  

However if you get the chance to question somebodies intelligence thats always a good way to shut them up!

E.G...a player in a MTT was giving me a lot of stick and kept saying "your a moron/idiot" etc.  I kept saying English only at the table.  He was getting angrier and angrier until i explained the difference between your and you're in the very simplest of terms.  He soon piped right down!

[sovietsong]

many people already think this is taking things too far, do you think that people that play poker for enjoyment should be subject to such turgid nonsense in the chatbox? Who are you to call someone a fish or ask them why they called? they called because they wanted to, thats all you need to know.

[/quote]

I do agree that i can be very petty, it is not something of which i am proud however it is something that i find difficult to control after suffering a bad beat.  I am far from an angel in the chat box however i have encountered far worse.

[Ismene]

I find that when people start to get really nasty it is better not to respond, and simply report anything which you think is over the line.  

However if you get the chance to question somebodies intelligence thats always a good way to shut them up!

E.G...a player in a MTT was giving me a lot of stick and kept saying "your a moron/idiot" etc.  I kept saying English only at the table.  He was getting angrier and angrier until i explained the difference between your and you're in the very simplest of terms.  He soon piped right down!

Thanks Sovietsong  - you have cheered  me right up :-)

[sovietsong]

Its very true that the majority of people that come on the chat box calling people all the names under the sun are pathetic individuals however although totalise may find it easy to ignore, many of us mear mortals are not so understanding.  I know a few online players that turn the chat box off completely to avoid this kind of problem.

[Graham C]

I generally have the chat box off, not just because of the ever increasing abusive nature of people, but because it's just another distraction that I don't really need. 

[totalise]

Its very true that the majority of people that come on the chat box calling people all the names under the sun are pathetic individuals however although totalise may find it easy to ignore, many of us mear mortals are not so understanding.  I know a few online players that turn the chat box off completely to avoid this kind of problem.

its easy enough to ignore if you understand how the poker economy works, and dont place much emotional attachment to one particular hand. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, thats the game. If someone is mouthing off, theres a pretty high chance hes either tilting or hes a bad player, so you cant be getting too upset when you have someone like that at the table.

Also you yourself said that you call people fish from time to time, thats the bit that I found most irksome, because a lot of people just play poker for fun, they dont give a crap about EV or profit or anything like that, and it seems pretty disrespectful to go off on them just because their A2os beat your KK. Peopel should be allowed to have fun without getting an ear full in the chatbox.

[Ismene]

Its very true that the majority of people that come on the chat box calling people all the names under the sun are pathetic individuals however although totalise may find it easy to ignore, many of us mear mortals are not so understanding.  I know a few online players that turn the chat box off completely to avoid this kind of problem.

It's great advice - and definitely a technique that i will employ in the future should things turn as nasty as that.

I was shocked to find that it still bothered me today - which is why I posted to see if this was "regular" behaviour or to find if it was just a particularly loathsome creature.

I should mention that it wasn't on blonde software - which is where i normally play and as a result have not encountered such aggressive behaviour before...

[The_nun]

Copy the chat ..save it and remember them ..or post it on here then we can all see it and know what it was about ..I usually contact customer support who then contact, after reading the said abuse, the person in question....

[Ismene]

Copy the chat ..save it and remember them ..or post it on here then we can all see it and know what it was about ..I usually contact customer support who then contact, after reading the said abuse, the person in question....

Thanks for the help - I might just do that next time.