Vegas & The Aftermath - Diary

[Tal]

Something completely different.

I've just watched former player and now PFA representative Clarke Carlisle's documentary on the risks of depression in football.

Genuinely interesting, delivered without piety or dumbing down and a few eyebrow-raising moments. Carlisle is a man still battling his condition but recognises how lucky he is to have support. He's obviously a man driven to help others in his current role and tells an excellent, if intense, story. Here is an article he wrote about it. The iPlayer link is in the article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23226524

[celtic]

Something completely different.

I've just watched former player and now PFA representative Clarke Carlisle's documentary on the risks of depression in football.

Genuinely interesting, delivered without piety or dumbing down and a few eyebrow-raising moments. Carlisle is a man still battling his condition but recognises how lucky he is to have support. He's obviously a man driven to help others in his current role and tells an excellent, if intense, story. Here is an article he wrote about it. The iPlayer link is in the article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23226524

Excellent, I took the depression test and I'm on the verge of depression. Good times ahead.

Where's that bridge?

[VBlue]

I would like to watch this back.

I have been looking into my own potential clinical depression recently.  Ben (neverscaredB) Wilinofski's blog really helped me to identify with so much.

I share a lot of the 'symptoms' I read there, but also differ in many ways.  I have never tried to take my life, but I have had some very dark days thinking about nothing else.

Now that I have seen the light about my condition, insomuch that it is not my fault and it does not have to be rational, and that seeking out some help is the same as going to the Doctor with a physical complaint, means I am going to book in next week to get the process started.

I do not think I need medication (tried it once for a very short period about five years ago), but some simple measures, talking more openly to my partner (who is now starting to understand it more herself and what her role in supporting me can be), taking more control of things in general, and potentially talking more with a professional, may help me long-term.

To describe further I could go on all day.  However, if anybody else is not sure - mind in the UK have a very helpful website, and Ben's blog is excellent.

If anybody else is concerned about their moods and would like to talk - I would be happy to.  Just drop me a PM and I'll make my Skype or Facebook details available.

[Mohican]

Trip to the beach Tikay??
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/beachgoers-unmoved-as-seaplane-performs-dramatic-close-up-water-landing-metres-above-their-heads-121432559.html?vp=1#KvBM6Kq

[the sicilian]

Something completely different.

I've just watched former player and now PFA representative Clarke Carlisle's documentary on the risks of depression in football.

Genuinely interesting, delivered without piety or dumbing down and a few eyebrow-raising moments. Carlisle is a man still battling his condition but recognises how lucky he is to have support. He's obviously a man driven to help others in his current role and tells an excellent, if intense, story. Here is an article he wrote about it. The iPlayer link is in the article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23226524

Excellent, I took the depression test and I'm on the verge of depression. Good times ahead.

Where's that bridge?

who made that test..a five year...

[the sicilian]

Something completely different.

I've just watched former player and now PFA representative Clarke Carlisle's documentary on the risks of depression in football.

Genuinely interesting, delivered without piety or dumbing down and a few eyebrow-raising moments. Carlisle is a man still battling his condition but recognises how lucky he is to have support. He's obviously a man driven to help others in his current role and tells an excellent, if intense, story. Here is an article he wrote about it. The iPlayer link is in the article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23226524

Excellent, I took the depression test and I'm on the verge of depression. Good times ahead.

Where's that bridge?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_bridges_in_the_United_Kingdom

[Tal]

Something completely different.

I've just watched former player and now PFA representative Clarke Carlisle's documentary on the risks of depression in football.

Genuinely interesting, delivered without piety or dumbing down and a few eyebrow-raising moments. Carlisle is a man still battling his condition but recognises how lucky he is to have support. He's obviously a man driven to help others in his current role and tells an excellent, if intense, story. Here is an article he wrote about it. The iPlayer link is in the article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23226524

Excellent, I took the depression test and I'm on the verge of depression. Good times ahead.

Where's that bridge?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_bridges_in_the_United_Kingdom

Not in the best taste, chaps, especially with VBlue's candid post above.

The programme reinforced the stigma associated with the illness - FFS just grow a pair was the expression Aidy Boothroyd used when recalling his previous views. Whatever your feelings on it, I found the programme very interesting and the FA's attitude eye opening.

[the sicilian]

Something completely different.

I've just watched former player and now PFA representative Clarke Carlisle's documentary on the risks of depression in football.

Genuinely interesting, delivered without piety or dumbing down and a few eyebrow-raising moments. Carlisle is a man still battling his condition but recognises how lucky he is to have support. He's obviously a man driven to help others in his current role and tells an excellent, if intense, story. Here is an article he wrote about it. The iPlayer link is in the article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23226524

Excellent, I took the depression test and I'm on the verge of depression. Good times ahead.

Where's that bridge?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_bridges_in_the_United_Kingdom

Not in the best taste, chaps, especially with VBlue's candid post above.

The programme reinforced the stigma associated with the illness - FFS just grow a pair was the expression Aidy Boothroyd used when recalling his previous views. Whatever your feelings on it, I found the programme very interesting and the FA's attitude eye opening.

Jeez relax ffs... cant even have a mild joke now

[RED-DOG]

Something completely different.

I've just watched former player and now PFA representative Clarke Carlisle's documentary on the risks of depression in football.

Genuinely interesting, delivered without piety or dumbing down and a few eyebrow-raising moments. Carlisle is a man still battling his condition but recognises how lucky he is to have support. He's obviously a man driven to help others in his current role and tells an excellent, if intense, story. Here is an article he wrote about it. The iPlayer link is in the article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23226524

Watching now. It's a riveting story.

Who among us hasn't had those dark days?

I'm never going to get any work done today at this rate....

[Claw75]

Vblue - I was going to reply to you via pm but in the spirit of your post and bearing in mind the current 'time to talk' campaign i'll post a reply here. I have documented my own struggles with mental health issues on here in the past (now since deleted for various reasons). Recognising that you might need help is a great first step. By far the hardest part, in my experience, is actually picking up the phone and asking for it.

I've had a variety of diagnoses over the years - depression, anxiety, cyclothymia, borderline personality disorder. That's not to say any of them were 'wrong'. A common misconception about mental health issues is that the illnesses are ingrained, rather than transitory. Mental illness can affect anyone at any time and, once diagnosed, it doesn't necessarily follow that the sufferer will not recover.

One other thing I would say is don't write off the idea of medication completely - sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error with different meds to find the ones that work for you.

Good luck

[celtic]

Something completely different.

I've just watched former player and now PFA representative Clarke Carlisle's documentary on the risks of depression in football.

Genuinely interesting, delivered without piety or dumbing down and a few eyebrow-raising moments. Carlisle is a man still battling his condition but recognises how lucky he is to have support. He's obviously a man driven to help others in his current role and tells an excellent, if intense, story. Here is an article he wrote about it. The iPlayer link is in the article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23226524

Excellent, I took the depression test and I'm on the verge of depression. Good times ahead.

Where's that bridge?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_bridges_in_the_United_Kingdom

Not in the best taste, chaps, especially with VBlue's candid post above.

The programme reinforced the stigma associated with the illness - FFS just grow a pair was the expression Aidy Boothroyd used when recalling his previous views. Whatever your feelings on it, I found the programme very interesting and the FA's attitude eye opening.

What makes you think i was being flippant, chess wiz?

[VBlue]

Yeah - thanks Claw.  Certainly wouldn't rule medication out, more just a comment that related to what I had read and how I know myself and what pulls me out of the slumps.  The bit about transitory conditions makes sense.  Thanks for the good luck wishes.

Red-Dog - sure.  I think everyone can relate to this in some ways.  I guess that is why people don't seek help, they think it happens to everyone from time to time so what is the point.

Got a chat with my missus tonight and then call the Doctors tomorrow.  Feels good to be taking control.  Might turn out I am not clinically depressed.  I have certainly felt like a different person at times and paralysed by inactivity and fears.

the sicilian - thanks for providing the link.  Could save me some research time if I ever do decide to go throw myself off one.  Which I am not.  Have never come as close as actually attempting suicide.  Not to say the thoughts haven't been there for me.  Sometimes for quite lengthy periods.

[gouty]

It was a fascinating insight into depression and what an articulate guy he was too.

As his life was all about fitness and the issue of success or failure every week I liked the analogy he used about his muscles would tear or tendons would bruise but he could fix them. He felt the same about his brain and managed to fix that too. Good job his girlfriend found him at his lowest point though.

It's all about reaching out for help in the first place. Good luck to him. The P.F.A. need to grab him quick and give him a budget to look after their lot before he is lost to tv presenting forever.

[Machka]

I know you're not really into space stuff and we're busy playing a PLO8 SnG right now but tonight at 21:24 (for 6 minutes) and at 23:00 (for 4 minutes) the International Space Station will fly overhead at 17,000 MPH.  

It's well worth going outside and looking up if you've never seen it before.

It's pretty hard to miss on a clear night as it'll be the really bright thing going from West to East (quickly).

Well you were busy for longer than I was......

It is how I spend many of my evenings, playing (relatively) low stakes (£2.25, £5.50 & £11) Double Your Money PLO8. Bowl comps I believe the lads call them.

And I LOVE it. It is utterly relaxing & wholly enjoyable, in every way possible. I see so many folks getting upset at the poker table - "I fu**ing hate Sundays" sort of thing, & it amazes me why they put themselves through all that torture.

PLO8 must have the lowest variance of ANY form of poker, & DYM's, where 6 enter, & 3 get paid (all three get the same, double the stake, minus reg fee), so all in all, you can't get lower variance than that.  

Do I make any money? Do I hell.

Do I lose any? Nope, I've never had to re-deposit once, in 7 years next door.

It's not about winning or losing money as such, it is just relaxing, & fulfils my addiction to the gambling buzz. Albeit nitty style.

And most of all, it brings up the miracles & mysteries of variance.

So, I play a super low variance form of poker, & I think I am reasonably competent. Not good, not bad, just competent. I definitely know a good starting hand from a bad one, & I don't play bad starting hands, unless shoving when short on the bubble. (Because, mostly, I don't expect to get called more than x% of the time, so the hand does not matter THAT much).  Technically, I know all the good starting hands, & the hands to avoid. Hands with combos of 7, 8 & 9, for example, belong in the muck. Pre. Every time.

And I've played three WSOP PLO8 Events, & cashed in two. Lucky, variance, sample size, quality of opponent, yeah yeah yeah, all that. I think I am competent, no more, no less.

What sort of opponent plays £2, £5 & £11 DYM's? Answer that yourself. Folks who just want an hour of fun, mostly. Technically competent? Mostly, no. A lad min-raised into me yesterday from UTG, & I shoved back, setting him all-in, all-in, for the full pot. He had more than enough to fold & still make the money. He called me with 2-7-8-8. Which, as PLO8 hands go, is about as bad as it can get. I would say that was a typical play at that level.

So I should make fortunes, seeing as I know what I'm doing. Or I think I do......

One night a week or two ago, I won 14 out of 15. Impressive, huh?

Two night later I managed the near impossible feat of LOSING 12 out of 13 consecutive games.

How that happen?

The absolute beauty of poker. I think I can play that game OK. I'm pretty sure I am technically better than 90% of them. Would I ever play 2-7-8-8? Not on your bloody nelly.  Would any of these lads cash twice from three in PLO8 WSOP Events? I doubt it.

And there you have poker, & the psychological battle. I think I am better than most of them. In fact, I am sure I am. And yet I can't make any money (or lose any) playing them. (Ignore, for the sake of this, the Reg Fees).

And that is why we should respect ALL our opponents. If I ever say "the idiot called me with...." I'd snap quit poker, I'd be ashamed of myself.

It does not matter, to a degree, how good we are, or think we are. Anyone can enjoy poker, & anyone can win, in the short-term.

I do wish, sometimes, I had the self-confidence of John Black, or the ability of Plinop, but when we sit at a poker table, our character does not change, if we are lacking in confidence, we play & think accordingly.

What an incredibly beautiful game poker is, it has given me so much fun I can't begin to ever tell you.

Phew, not sure where all that came from, but there it is. The mind games.

PS - Oddity. Yesterday afternoon I won nearly £700, after Lord Grumpy suggested I invest £100 on a horse race, & it trotted up.  An hour later, I was sat in a £2.25 DYM, & I was disappointed that I failed to cash, which would have netted me £1.75 gross profit. Go figure.

I've been jumping on the tables a lot more recently, just for an hour or so in the evenings.  I would prefer to play PLO8 cash but there is never anything running so I play some PLO instead.

I had to actually had to switch my mindset quickly when the PLO8 DYM started up even though I know it's those you play pretty much exclusively.

When you say how one moment you're winning nearly £700 and then the next disappointed at not cashing in a £2.25 DYM I completely understand.  I'm exactly the same way but with share dealing, "Oh, + or - £3000 today, now let's go and play some PLO 10 cash."

It never fails to amaze me at how many people do play at micro stakes and get so mad at an outdraw or an 'idiot' calling with nothing.  And then proceeding to abuse their bad play in the chat box.  That's a sure fire way to get rich at the tables.

Do you ever watch the higher level tables over the other side?  I notice there are a lot of higher stake (relatively for Sky Poker) players lately and I see some huge swings one way or the other.

[strak33]

Do you want to buy it Tikay?

Ha!

I believe it was in fact sold, for around £275,000.

It remains in use as a holiday cottage though, (sleeps 5 or 6), in late October it can be rented for around £700 per week.

Sorry if I missed it somewhere but where and whose is this please
It is actually a little dismal internally, but externally, it is Heaven. Otters & dolphins can be seen in that Loch, from the lounge window, & in the wooded hill behind, eagles & various other birds of prey can be seen regularly.

There is a village shop - "Shiel Petrol Station" I think - 3 miles distant, & some proper shops in Kyle of Lochalsh, some 20 miles away.

It has a wood-burning open fire, so it costs a few bob keeping a stock of logs at hand.

Click to see full-size image.