Tikay smiled at his hole cards,
.
He thought "Oh! Aces!!".
" All-In!!" he announced.
"I Call" said the big blind.
"Oh sh*t" said Tikay when he saw the pig's ear he'd made of the tournament again. He remembered how lucky it is that Kev likes pies made from sheep's innards and marmite.
Surreptitiously he used big words to convey how much he likes to makes ladies wriggle when he unzips his camera and shoots his cat with a shotgun loaded with shotgun pellets.
The end of the world is getting closer but it won't end until the jocks win with Aces, Trumper calling from behind as usual and putting his stack all in with no outs.
However a volcano was about to erupt 5000 miles off of Western Australia. This made the chance of winning much more dioable because poker is not for seismologists with blurred vision, and no sense of direction. They found Red Dog, eating pies with some chunky bits of Yak hair and lice. He loved lice, egg fried with worms.
Snoopy gasped for air but forgot that he'd left his common sense in Colchester Kev's pants.
"Big mistake!" thought Snoopy "I will have to wash my mouth out with soap" before announcing :
"I'm sorry that I'm such a four king Queen!"
Suddenly Tight End flounced around the room wearing nothing but Ali's finest home made bright pink wonder bra and matching pink panties, which looked crotch-less. They actually made his buttocks look smaller than an elephants.
Suddenly the doorbell rang, kev answered.
"Hello sexy" said Tight End, "fancy a bit of slap and chips with mayonnaise?"
Ironside "no thanks" cantankerously, irritated because he was jealous of Scotsmen. "
" he thought
Kev said "pie and chips with extra pie (Fray Bentos) with more magnetic fields to attract knives and more pies in tins secreted down Karabiners trousers which accidentally got lodged in his turn-ups.
"Turnips?!!!!" shouted Red Dog lustfully drooling slightly and remembering Vicky's potential to win from behind having flopped top pair against tikay's bottom set of teeth.
Tikay groaned and admitted he had forged his passport and his ages because he was really a ladyboy called Sharlene with designs of pink Tight End's panties, size 32.
"Very pretty" said Flushy "I must remember to buy some for Ginger. I wonder if she would want a zebra for Christmas instead of the rabbit with batteries and lights up her junction?"
Duracell last longer unlike Flushy the kangaroo with his funny walk and tiny pocket pair suspended from his ears. Unusual that! Only seen in XXX movies, which contain scenes tikay wishes he'd starred in, wide screen. Nemesis wondered if it would ever rise again after the accident involving a lasagne and crispy duck.
Psychologically representing the semi bluff I prayed for forgiveness buy Lo! Hi Lo!, dealers choice, gamblers love a nice banana split with extra bacon bits and cherries washed down with a gallon of castor oil, followed by three tonne lashings of fortified wine with a suggestion of....
"Help Me!" flailing wildly devil dog calmly wiped his backside with a Mr Muscle oven cleaner, which tickled his googly bits and blistered his tongue. "Ouchy" said Poonsy, remembering that he'd done that twice before with jif mixed witha pancake.
"Aaaayyyyaaaarrrr" he exclaimed. Later he skin exfoliated, smooth as a badger's and foxes smooth bits that had been sanded with an apricot sponge.
"Mmmmm apricot! said chavkester Kev shoving the apricot pies down his lilac pants borrowed from elblondie. Wife Mrs C squuezing his pendulous orbs was excrutiatingly painful as his right ear had become aroused because he was confused about his sexuality, with non-sequiturs.
Whipped cream had a large place in Kev's bedside cabinet for his athlete's foot which was resembling herpes. Boils were oozing rapidly, the smell of onions was pleasant, yet overpowering.
"Mmmmm cheeseburger" exclaimed Heid.
"Nice Baps"
"Whose? Mine" said Ali pulling up her knickers cheesily.
"Awesome"
"Mmmmmm cheese, very fishy, that merkin needs washing"
" It's bespoke. Bicycles are not welcome throughout Honduras, no grifters"
Chairman Mao, number 42, with noodles, extra msg. "Pablo Picasso loved it" she cried.
"Ironside I want to play with you photo whilst drooling over your lovely stack whilst licking your Dickensian first edition"
"Such a sweet aroma of WD40 mixed with beetle juice and creamy cheesey peas"
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Cheeeeeeeeeeeese" squeaked the little rabbit, burrowing hurriedly beneath the changing rooms of the ladies boules club.
OOOO Posh and Becks were wearing less than Heid and seek, recently since the downsizing operation shrunk their best assets to only currant buns.
"Oh my darling clementine. I lost my virginity a long long looooonnnnggg long time ago in a galaxy far far chocolately than a ripple with extra ripples in"
"Funnily enough, ha ha" laughed dikay.
"Who's dikay?" the boss of blondepoker.com with Mr Burns, aged only 83 last week but still spritely compared to a snail on heat.
Discombobulated, disappointingly long words for such an imbecile.
"LOL LOL Lollipops anyone for tennis?"
"New balls please" said Kojak sucking oudly on purpose. Immediately after he spontaneously combusted wearing lycra two sizes bigger than Martina Navratilovas' strap on New Balls!
Purple rain fell from marshmallow skies.
"Marshmallow, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm" squidgy, cloying within her generous disposition, shamelessly spoiled her incorrigible
"Er. er, what's incorrigible?" said the show pony, pawing nervously. Unique horse with paws not hooves.
"Jumping Jehosiphat, what was pretending to prepare crepes with extra thick soles"
"Are soles are sore so apply anusol liberally with your best china teapot, spout first"
KY Jelly discolours rims ki korsakov and hurts my aching breaking heart.
Tight End snoozed and dreamed of tarts with their clothes off and legs akimbo just like when tikay was photographed glamour style for playgirl for £10k, only if he romoved his jacket and no shorts or hairpiece, and strictly no white trainers, just espadrilles.
"I didn't have any poker talent" he exclaimed suspecting unusual fetishistic positioning causing premature
ejac er aging and that's four not two words numbnuts.
"Language Timothy"
"Ding, Round two!" Heid sat demurely, as if she were double jointed, yogic flying around the world in Blonde forum threaded parachutes, huge ones.
Unseen to human eye The Nun took off
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Freddie Mercury"
"I want it all" said Heid,greedily looking, desperation evident
"Ding, Round three"
Tight as anything goes here.
"Strange habit, fork collecting" said tikay, just as his suspenders twanged loudly against the head of Grosvenor Security, a big Boba fett Star Wars! Darth Vader the force was strong in my pants! but not for long.
It must have come prematurely again, a messy business probably
To be continued? as this is now the third most replied to thread on Blonde, I don't know what this says about us! 
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