Any advice appreciated

[cia260895]

hi ya havent had the time to go over the whole thrread yet, but my youngest is autistic and he go's to a specialist school .yes the battle is a very hard and long 1 that u have to fight all the way and the weight of it does bear down on you and you feel like that everyone is against you,but when you do reach the end its a huge relief,dont despair you are not alone and you probably know that the http://www.nas.org.uk/ is a great source of help and info,and his paediatrician should be of assistance as well,from what i know the level of assistance cvaries greatly depending on which area you live in i have heard some horror stories regarding parents trying there best for the kids and feeling just like we all did at some stage

[suzanne]

I think you lot have probably heard enough of me moaning and im sorry.

Blonde gives me somewhere to voice what im feeling and it makes me feel better getting it off my chest.

I realise a poker forum is not where I should be doing this but I know a lot of you guys and have met you at previous bashes and i speak to loads of you via PMs

Its actually surprising how many... just on Blonde alone have autistic children and the different results all around the country.

Bath unfortunatly has many rich and affluent people who are only too willing to donate heavily at the xmas fair, my daughter is nearly 11 now and I as was told when she was 3 yrs old to "save up" or shes got no chance.

Yesterday was the school talent show...my daughter had planned for this for the last 3 months..she practised every move and had her song and dance routine word perfect...she dreams of being the next Britney (i now understand how complete muppets go pop idol thinking they are stars) trouble is she has come 1st, 2nd, 1st in the last 3 comps but parents are not allowed to watch!!!!

Anyway...the school headmistress..in her years of knowledge and teaching decided that Megan should not be allowed to take part in the talent contest..because I had kept her off school the previous day..she had been up practically all night coughing and i had decided to take her to the docs, she also had swimming that day which is not good, I am going to get shit for weeks/even months coz i am the worst mother in the world,.I have decided she is not going back after christmas so any advice would be appreciated.

[suzanne]

Actually forget the advice coz I know I have only 1 option.

3 Bedroom semi in a nice area of Bath, neighbours are ace. Looking for a similar councel house swap, anywhere considered.

[cia260895]

Again the postcode lottery comes into force... hey just a thought why not emigrate to eastern Europe take there nationality then become an immigrant here and hey presto all the care u needed will be available.......

[Eck]

This place is just round the corner from me Suz, i'm sure you are aware of it. No idea what the story is with council houses im afraid but some incredibly soft home games on offer 



http://www.autism-in-scotland.org.uk/index.shtml

Best Wishes

James

[suzanne]

Im feeling sort of calm tonight as school has now broken up for Christmas and I now have 3 whole weeks that I dont have to dread waking up and going through the same old shit.

On a different note..because of all that has been going on I have been unable to do xmas shopping, i have put my annual request into argos home delivery 3 times now and as usual half of it is out of stock each time but im still missing a few vital presents...ie 1 sister, 3 nieces, 1 brother in law (the one that i might go to jail for...so fook him) and i have no idea what i have and havent got for my own kids and to be honest............i dont CARE!! because I know they dont. Megan has given me a list a mile long and no matter what I get it wont be enough, Adrians list is 3/4 console games and they will all frustate him and send him into tantrums coz he cant do them.

Anyway...after much though I think I have come up with a solution.

If my sister and I swap houses via the council (but dont actually move) she will then not be in the school catchment area by address..im looking into it but it could be a way out :-)

[KeithyB]

Hi Suz,

Can't offer any advice as I have no expertise whatsoever in these areas at all but just wanted to post to show you some support.

Must be a nightmare at times for you but there are plenty of your friends on here who you can talk to and will listen plus offer advice where they can, myself included.

"I think you lot have probably heard enough of me moaning and im sorry."

Please, no need to ever think this, as people care and are interested plus, more importantly,  if it helps you by posting then let it out!

One thing I thought was it seemed very harsh that Megan was banned from the talent contest.  You'd think that having found something involving school that made her want to attend they would encourage it!

Anyway best of luck on potential way out and try to enjoy some of your three week respite!

Take care, Keith

[Claw75]

I agree with Keith Suz - don't ever feel bad about posting.  Yes some people on here might think it's not suitable for a poker forum, but then they don't have to read every post.

I also think the decision re the talent show was out of order.

Hope you have as stress free a Christmas and New Year as you possibly can.

xxxx

[charmaine]

Seems very harsh not to let your little girl join in the talent contest , poor little thing must be heartbroken after all the rehearsing she had done , shame on the head.

Always post when you feel you need to get it off your chest Suz , always here to listen and you have phone numbers if you need feedback or someone else to swear about the school .

You now have three weeks breathing space , take some time out from all the stress you are under and enjoy Christmas and the New Year .

Take care

xx

[tikay]

Hi Suzanne,

Just seen this thread.

I really don't have any advice to give - I've never had kids - but hang in there. I know you will.

[taximan007]

Blonde Poker is predominately a Poker Forum.

But more then that, its a Community Forum where everybody can come and talk about all things in general, thats why we have the LOUNGE now so we can chat about things OTHER than poker.

It helps to get things off your chest, so please Suzanne

KEEP POSTING

[CRIPPIN]

Suzanne,

Best of luck to you and yours, you must be doing something right to get this far.

A few observations:

I personally think you are very brave to post this stuff on here and from what I have read these people are top bananas and will offer you advice when they can and support otherwise.

I know two families that have kids like yours, one very affluent the other single parent, council stuff (please don't take offence anyone cos I'm council stuff myself). Now both are absolutely lovely and their kids went to the same school and their 'special' kids go to the same special school, they are collected by taxi in the morning, they are all doing great and the kids are fantastic.

So what am I trying to say? Not sure but I think it's that you should be proud of what you have done so far and you should push ahead with badgering the local authority to get the very best that they can offer your kids.


Very best of luck to you.

[suzanne]

Its amazing how just 2 days away from the stress can change your outlook. Ive just read through this thread and I sounded like a woman possessed LOL

I think it was a VERY bad idea not to let her join the talent show as we are now back to square one and shes saying she doesnt want to go back.

In fairness the idea of her going only half a day was to encourage her back into the classroom and also as I said to keep the absentee records to a minimum which seemed a reasonable (tho i didnt like it) idea. The 30 mins play and being allowed to take her toys to school DID work as she went to school 4 days in a row but shes not going to make the grades she needs to get into mainstream secondary if shes only going to school a couple of hours a day and not learning is she!!

I think my problem is that I feel I gave up too easily in the early years.

Adrian was 3 years old when he started seeing specialists I put it down to jealousy as there is only 18 months between the two of them. He completely shut down at the age of 2 and he either completely ignored everyone or he lashed out. It was also obvious from a very early age that he was highly intelligent, he knew his alphabet and numbers before he could talk, he played a vtech game and knew all the letters and numbers at 15 months (I used to watch Countdown every evening and he was glued to it) When he went to preschool playgroup I was told he would be taught his letters and numbers up to 10..they were gobsmacked when I wrote down a 5 figure number and asked Adrian what it was LOL

Anyway..during these assessment I noticed that the paediatrician was also watching Megan who was sat in a corner with some toys. My main worry at that time was Adrian but I had also noticed that Megan who was a lively chatty wee thing and had started talking quite early was now NOT talking at all. I had also put this down to the fact that everytime she said anything Adrian attacked her. I literally could not go for a pee and leave them both in the same room at that time, she was a permenant fixture on my hip. I didnt see the signs at that time but the paediatrician did and it was spotted at a very early age.

She was diagnosed at 4 year old and funnily enough Adrian never has been given the official stamp.

I wanted initially for her to go to the same infant school as her brother but unfortunately the headmistress's window looked onto the nursery playround and she saw Megan at her best..attacking a 3 month old baby in its buggy coz it smiled at her...that kind of sealed it. She called me into her office 2 weeks before the school broke up for summer (she was supposed to be joining in Sept) and told me im very sorry but she cant come here. WHY I asked as I pulled her down off the bookcase with 2 ripped posters in her hand LOL

Those days were much worse than now so im sure I will get through this.

[suzanne]

I used to teach autistic/aspergers kids at a local college that looked after students with learning difficulites like this. I found it crucial that they were in a safe environment where everyone knew the problems surrounding their learning process. I would say getting them into a specialised school/college is key, often we took alot of pressure from the parents and knew how to handle situations that might occur,

I still talk to a few of my old asperger's students, one I must say is an maths genius he had the memory of a computer! but he was always obsessed with morris chesnut (an actor) and buses!

gl whatever happens.

I met a woman at a local support group when Megan was younger, her son was autistic and a computer whizz kid at 12 years old. A friend of hers wanted someone to set up a web page to promote a new business and was happy to pay if the kid was up to it.
They both went to stay with him for a weekend and the bloke was delighted with his work. They left on the Sunday but his mum didnt have the cash on her to pay for the taxi so they went to the station and he sat in the taxi while she looked for a cashpoint. Unknown to her he was very angry that he hadnt been paid for his work (he thought) and panicked a bit at being left in the taxi.
They got home safely but within a week this kid had run his credit cards up to £600,000 

Thanks to all of you who have PMd and given you support.......its more appreciated than you will ever know x

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Curious-Incident-Dog-Night-time-Adult/dp/0099450259..well worth reading.

Also...I wasnt going to mention this but my son was given the MMR at 2 yrs old and the age was lowered to 15 months when my daughter had hers. I believe the MMR is why my kids are autistic but given the same choices again I would still go down the same road. I dont know what the odds are but i just got unlucky :-(

[cia260895]

 Re: Any advice appreciated
« Reply #28 on: Today at 05:13:56 am »   

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Quote from: Acidmouse on November 10, 2007, 10:24:35 am
I used to teach autistic/aspergers kids at a local college that looked after students with learning difficulites like this. I found it crucial that they were in a safe environment where everyone knew the problems surrounding their learning process. I would say getting them into a specialised school/college is key, often we took alot of pressure from the parents and knew how to handle situations that might occur,

I still talk to a few of my old asperger's students, one I must say is an maths genius he had the memory of a computer! but he was always obsessed with morris chesnut (an actor) and buses!

gl whatever happens.





I met a woman at a local support group when Megan was younger, her son was autistic and a computer whizz kid at 12 years old. A friend of hers wanted someone to set up a web page to promote a new business and was happy to pay if the kid was up to it.
They both went to stay with him for a weekend and the bloke was delighted with his work. They left on the Sunday but his mum didnt have the cash on her to pay for the taxi so they went to the station and he sat in the taxi while she looked for a cashpoint. Unknown to her he was very angry that he hadnt been paid for his work (he thought) and panicked a bit at being left in the taxi.
They got home safely but within a week this kid had run his credit cards up to £600,000 

Thanks to all of you who have PMd and given you support.......its more appreciated than you will ever know x

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Curious-Incident-Dog-Night-time-Adult/dp/0099450259..well worth reading.

Also...I wasnt going to mention this but my son was given the MMR at 2 yrs old and the age was lowered to 15 months when my daughter had hers. I believe the MMR is why my kids are autistic but given the same choices again I would still go down the same road. I dont know what the odds are but i just got unlucky :-(

You werent unlucky hun i initially thought why me why not someone else but its just how the cookie crumbles and now i cannot imagine thomas as being (typical/normal) although i dont like to think him as abnormal but when he ran into the mountain of crereal in asda 1 day then lay in the middle of the pile kicking and screaming at the top of his voice because i wouldnt re stack them for him to do it again i did think something wasnt quite right lol but i wouldnt change him for the world and as a parent as much as it grates on you and wears you down you'll always be there for them and thats what counts... and at the end of the day who knows best MUM xx good luck hun ps i read the book years ago and still do now what a tops read,,also try reading Kevin it puts what weve gone through into perspective (ill post writers name later if you want?)