Ladies and gentlemen my apologies for not being at the award ceremony personally but since the release of that picture the offers of work just keep rolling in.
Tonight you find me modelling for Blacks camping and leisure showing just how the new range of tents should be worn......my favourite being the two man special which was just so flattering for the larger man.
Previous assignments have shown the younger TV viewers how to flatten plasticine just by sitting on it, and how to both grimace and smile simultaneously for those who are thinking of taking up a job as an air steward or stewardess.
But what of this Blonde award.......well you know I have always been a supporter of the Blonde crew, basically because I like the people.......yes we may not always agree but we do remain civil and I have frequently found myself laughing out loud in the middle of the day.....this is tremendously pleasant. So it is with great honour I take this award and place it with my other treasured items on my sideboard.......it will fit beautifully between the home made Blue Peter badge, as they would not give me a proper one I made my own, and obviously my prized possession a signed edition of "Step by Step DIY"......
What there is no award.......you take my photo, infringe my image rights and don't give me something plastic to show for it....what sort of bash is this......oh and god bless America..well somebody should eh.
Surely the pleasure of winning is enough. What do you want, a medal?
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