An account of Jeeves' trip to Las Vegas latterly in the service of Mr tikay.

[Dingdell]

Jeeves cannot be dead - I can only imagine that the pressure of a trip to Vegas with Rookie has made him a little unstable....he's probably had a real Reggie Perrin moment and will surface somewhere soon bedraggled, thirsty from his walk across the Las Vegas desert and clutching a momento from his time sleeping in a teepee with native American Indians.

It has to happen - he cannot be dead.

[Chompy]

Blatently just a move to improve his chances in the thread of the year category imo

[Jeeves]

Update


This is Police Inspector Matthias Kiwanuka Umeniyora of the Las Vegas Police Department


We asked Mr Jeeves' employer Mr Benjamin Turnstill of Luton, Englandshire to formally identify the body yesterday. He was unable to do so, and so asked his colleague Mr Allan Shieldsy also of Lutonshire, England to do so

His precise words were

"Maybe, I dunno. Can I go back to bed yet?"

Thus the investigation still remains current, and we have sent off fingerprint and dental records to the Association of British Manservants, Over 50 year old division, for verification. Oh, and Interpol too. and Mossad. and Hamas.

In the meantime we are still appealing for further information as to Bartholemew Jeeves. Anyone who can help please call 00353441525718411

This was the face on the body we found, together with mask and a fistful of dollar. Perhaps readers of this organ can confirm or deny if this is Jeeves?



 

[lazaroonie]

i think like Conan Doyle, the creator of this thread may live to regret killing off his protagonist so early....

[Dingdell]

i think like Conan Doyle, the creator of this thread may live to regret killing off his protagonist so early....

HE'S NOT DEAD!!!!! It looks like the pokerbrat was pretending to be Jeeves to entice the laydees. Still on tilt from from not being one of the November Nine I expect.

Jeeves lives and will reemerge when his mind and Squaw allow.....some of this may be a guess.

[Snatiramas]

i think like Conan Doyle, the creator of this thread may live to regret killing off his protagonist so early....

HE'S NOT DEAD!!!!! It looks like the pokerbrat was pretending to be Jeeves to entice the laydees. Still on tilt from from not being one of the November Nine I expect.

Jeeves lives and will reemerge when his mind and Squaw allow.....some of this may be a guess.

I felt exactly the same way about Albus Dumbledore

[Dingdell]

i think like Conan Doyle, the creator of this thread may live to regret killing off his protagonist so early....

HE'S NOT DEAD!!!!! It looks like the pokerbrat was pretending to be Jeeves to entice the laydees. Still on tilt from from not being one of the November Nine I expect.

Jeeves lives and will reemerge when his mind and Squaw allow.....some of this may be a guess.

I felt exactly the same way about Albus Dumbledore

If Albus Dumbledore reemerges with a squaw i will eat my new hat.

[Laxie]

i think like Conan Doyle, the creator of this thread may live to regret killing off his protagonist so early....

HE'S NOT DEAD!!!!! It looks like the pokerbrat was pretending to be Jeeves to entice the laydees. Still on tilt from from not being one of the November Nine I expect.

Jeeves lives and will reemerge when his mind and Squaw allow.....some of this may be a guess.

I felt exactly the same way about Albus Dumbledore

If Albus Dumbledore reemerges with a squaw i will eat my new hat.

And I will book a trip over to avail of Ding's 'clearance services' 

[tikay]

Update


This is Police Inspector Matthias Kiwanuka Umeniyora of the Las Vegas Police Department


We asked Mr Jeeves' employer Mr Benjamin Turnstill of Luton, Englandshire to formally identify the body yesterday. He was unable to do so, and so asked his colleague Mr Allan Shieldsy also of Lutonshire, England to do so

His precise words were

"Maybe, I dunno. Can I go back to bed yet?"

Thus the investigation still remains current, and we have sent off fingerprint and dental records to the Association of British Manservants, Over 50 year old division, for verification. Oh, and Interpol too. and Mossad. and Hamas.

In the meantime we are still appealing for further information as to Bartholemew Jeeves. Anyone who can help please call 00353441525718411

This was the face on the body we found, together with mask and a fistful of dollar. Perhaps readers of this organ can confirm or deny if this is Jeeves?



 

Is this some kind of jopke?

[Snatiramas]

i think like Conan Doyle, the creator of this thread may live to regret killing off his protagonist so early....

HE'S NOT DEAD!!!!! It looks like the pokerbrat was pretending to be Jeeves to entice the laydees. Still on tilt from from not being one of the November Nine I expect.

Jeeves lives and will reemerge when his mind and Squaw allow.....some of this may be a guess.

I felt exactly the same way about Albus Dumbledore

If Albus Dumbledore reemerges with a squaw i will eat my new hat.

And I will book a trip over to avail of Ding's 'clearance services' 

shhh....don't interrupt me. I am on the phone to JK Rowling

[The_duke]

[Laxie]

Huh?   

[The_duke]

[Laxie]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!   

[Jeeves]

Thursday

I am extremely disappointed by the youth of today. I was left in Las Vegas, assumed dead, by my employer Mr Turnstill and his cohort Mr Shieldsy on their return to England. Neither, according to the Police who eventually discovered me face down in a skip behind the Red Rock Casino some ten miles away from the Stratosphere, had been able to identify me as the body at the bottom of the Big Wheel. Seemingly unconcerned with my welfare they then departed.

What was I doing face down in a skip? That, dear reader, I cannot help you with. I remember leaving Peppermints with Candy and Stacey and then, some forty eight hours later there I am. In a skip. No wallet. No clothes. Just the faint whiff of rohypnol and amyl nitrate in the vicinity, and a rather concerning bite mark on my inner thigh.

The police took me to the station. Fed me and clothed me. Offered me a bed whilst they continued their enquiries. I gather they contacted a representative of blonde Poker to ask him to assist in the enquiry, a certain Mr tikay, but when no reply came to PM, email or second PM after 48 hours they wrote to Sky Poker, analysis for play the presenter fish by presenter fish, who invited the Police Sergeant to be a guest on The Open, and then The Club, and then The Open again. The Sergeant asked me why this would happen and I replied with a truth held to be self-evident in British gaming circles

"Officer Umeniyora, they'll have anyone on the show. Unless you are a Crow or a mad-man. Or both"

Some days later, de-briefed by the British Consul, issued with replacement passport and bank card, flight ticket purchased I left America again and returned to England. My future was completely uncertain, once more I was bereft of a career, this time in the throes of a vicious credit crunch and with a rather chequered recent employment history rather spoiling my hitherto unassailable curriculum vitae.

I settled back into my home in Kensington and scoured once more the situations vacant in Horse and Hound and Country Life. So as not to close off a potential avenue of enquiry I also scoured Heat and Closer too, purely for research purposes.

The phone did not ring, and letters of mine went unanswered. I began to despair. Christmas beckoned, a time of the year where life's uncertainties are magnified by jollity elsewhere by those more stable.

It was a Tuesday morning. My telephone rang.

"Good morning can I speak to Jeeves please?" came the deliberate and ever so slightly posh voice at the end of the line

"This is Jeeves. To whom am I speaking?"

"This is Richard Prew of blonde Poker" said the voice

"How may I help you?" I said, almost regretting the sentence as soon as it left my mouth. My history with that organisation: Peroxide Pensioners, Gullible Gunners, Crackpot Colonics, Reckless Rookies. My experience of all suggested I should terminate the conversation there and then.

Instead, the voice answered.

"I am getting many enquiries as to your identity Jeeves on our forum. Would it be ok if we disclosed who you are?"

I had not realised that the general populace of the community had worked out that Jeeves is in fact a nom de Plume of one of their number.

"I am not sure" I replied. "It's not really important I know, but I would like to protect my anonymity in case of reprisals"

"Oh" said the deflated voice. In the background I could hear children shouting intermingling with the strains of the Post Horn Gallop

"Is there anything else I can help you with sir?" I asked, in hindsight rather stupidly

"Well....." and there came a pause, a pause so pregnant that a midwife with a suction pump was no doubt on hand to assist

"I am looking for a personal assistant"

and with that, I packed a bag and caught the train to Bedfordshire. Waiting for me on the platform was a large man in a blue football shirt.

"Jeeves!" he cried. " I never realised you were Jeeves!"

as we walked to the car, it started

"Got to write a diary piece when I get back on endogenous macroeconomics and the risk of deflation followed by stagflation, hyperinflation and reflation. While I am doing that you can make my milkshake, clean the car, send reminder emails to everyone who hasn't answered me in the last ten minutes and then if no answer five minutes later, send another one"

"Yes sir" I responded, trying my best to hide my no doubt premature weariness.