The Vegas Virgin & The Jolly Boys Outing

Many would think that when you undertake a major overseas trip a great deal of planning might be called for, something akin to Operation Overlord maybe.

However when talking about your average Luton G casino regular, half arsed and last minute are terms that are firm early runners.

And so the great Vegas expediton begins.

To be honest two weeks ago a trip to vegas couldnt be further from my mind, I was enjoying my 2 nights a week homage to the G and a little bit of dancing on Pokerstars when a few of the regulars started talking about their annual pigrimage to The Poker Players Promised Land...Las Vegas.

The usual chit chat was abound, where they were staying what comps they fancied..maybe a stab at a Turkey Shoot ( Sorry WSOP Bracelet Event ) and then it began to gather momentum...Blondes and Lutonians began to enroll en masse and finally my good mate Celtic declared he was going and why don't I come..'it'll be a laff..he said

Then it struck me ....thats not a bad idea..i could do with a break..and what better than an insane 10 Day Poker Fest in Sin City....Sod the 72 Virgins.. U have to blow up a plane not get on one to get that gig.....shoot me now and sign me up!!!

However one small problem reared its ugly head..after running good and ramping my Bankroll up to £ 18K by early March I had wisely decided to invest a good chunk of it into one of my business.After much careful accounting I managed to use it all and some extra just for good measure.. and the Poker pot was empty..April was lean but May was good and a mix of live and internet saw 0 turn into £2700. Great I thought I'll just ramp that up a bit more and freeroll my way to vegas..Ah! such plans are beautiful when they are this simple.

However a strange thing happened..it was spooky..as soon as I actually tried to make money I managed to ramp it down to about £1500.Time to look towards the business I had so wisely invested in and to my surprise I was actually owed a severe lump by a multitude of different clients.

I'm there i proudly announce to Celtic...Unfortunatley owed money and getting money seem to be 2 different universes and 5 days before im due to go no buggers paid me....oh and I discover my Passports a year out of date...You see I don't get away much and the last time I flew I had to marry someone to get the ticket....

However a quick drive up to sunny Peterborough and its scarily efficent Passport office ( I was in there 10 minutes ) saw me pay a mere £114 for a get yer new passport in 4 hours jobbie..I didnt fancy idling 4 hours of my life away in Peterborough ( Im sure its very nice..) so I got them to post it to me.
As an aside the poor couple in front of me were getting passports for their children as well as themselves..' has the 13 year old signed the form? ' asked Mrs Efficent behind the desk...a puzzled shake of the head from both parents, 'oh she has to sign it..you can go through but it will be rejected'..

Bloody Hell !! I hope they didnt come far...mind you if that was me id say she was sitting in the car outside and dutifully return with one 13 Year olds signature...and if necessary a suitably bribed live one.

Anyway, finally after many frantic phone calls and some cobblers about our year end accounting enough money dribbled in on the Friday to cover the trip.

A quick phone call to Richard Branson ( his a personal friend you know ) saw me allocated one of their finest economy seats at the back behind Latrine number 4, Lucky I'm a short arse cos leg room is an upgrade and for some strange reason Celtic gets my food allocation ??

And so..we are set..Im going to Las Vegas with a bunch of degenerate gamblers ( My Mum has already warned me of the pitfalls of such a place..well cmon im not 40 till next year for Gods sake and Mother knows best..u think im joking !!! ) who have all been before, to break my cherry under the dazzling lights,dancing girls etc..and at Tightend and Tikays behest I may well bore you with mine and my compadres adventures as we attempt to stick it up the Yanks Gawd Bless em'

Early reports from our scouts on the frontline ( Thats Chompy to me and you ) declare the level of play in the deep stack tourneys at the Venetian and Caesars etc.. are idiotic allin blood baths with much a whooping and a hollering from the locals..

God I hope not ..I hate that when some Cock pulls a 2 outer on you and starts running round like a demented Red Indian after discovering his first in the scalp line at Little Big Horn.. I may have to calmly ask them what colour straw they would like to eat their dinner through whilst recovering in the local emergency room...
Dont worry i'll be okay i'll be very English about it, sit there and say nothing more than ' nice hand ' and then bitch about it to my mates for the next 7 Years..

So ok...Tuesday morning Gatwick is where The Jolly Boys Outing begins..wish us luck and smoke me a kipper !! Photo's and big words to follow...