Personal bad beat situation

[Indestructable]

Sounds rough, easy to say but hope it all works out. Take care. 

[Supernova]

Hi Ian, so sorry to hear what's happening. Thoughts are with you and your family.  xx

+ 1

[The_nun]

Support here as and when you need it, pm sent.

xx

[cia260895]

omg this is serious,the ex wife has to have 2 lumps removed,masectomy,chemo and radio as it has got into the lymph glands as well,have got to meet with her tomorrow to sort out care for the boys but looks most likely i'll have to move into her house(she'll stay with parents) until she is well enough to cope,
which means ill be living in surrey from sun nites til friday then come back home with them at weekends,

wow me a full time parent again thats so scary but not as scary as what she wil be going through,

[boldie]

Best of luck to her and yourself mate.

[RED-DOG]

omg this is serious,the ex wife has to have 2 lumps removed,masectomy,chemo and radio as it has got into the lymph glands as well,have got to meet with her tomorrow to sort out care for the boys but looks most likely i'll have to move into her house(she'll stay with parents) until she is well enough to cope,
which means ill be living in surrey from sun nites til friday then come back home with them at weekends,

wow me a full time parent again thats so scary but not as scary as what she wil be going through,

Just take it one day at a time and do what you have to do. No one can do more than that.

[tao82]

gd luck hope it all goes well

[sofa----king]

good luck mate.,.it is nice that you express your feelings with blonde members.,.,hope all works out.,..,

[Claw75]

omg this is serious,the ex wife has to have 2 lumps removed,masectomy,chemo and radio as it has got into the lymph glands as well,have got to meet with her tomorrow to sort out care for the boys but looks most likely i'll have to move into her house(she'll stay with parents) until she is well enough to cope,
which means ill be living in surrey from sun nites til friday then come back home with them at weekends,

wow me a full time parent again thats so scary but not as scary as what she wil be going through,

Just take it one day at a time and do what you have to do. No one can do more than that.

top advice - best of luck - thinking of you xx

[jizzemm]

gd luck hope it all goes well

[Supernova]

I wish all of you the best of luck Ian and my thoughts are with you and your family xx

[suzanne]

Like Kev said its hard to know what to say.

Stay strong for the kids and I hope she pulls through. We are all here for support x

[cia260895]

Well the mrs and I took the boys home last night  and was met my her,her mum and sister and the boys,bearing in mind the last time i was in the same room with all of them was when i got found guilty of assaulting her,how wierd was that in it self? But circumstance dictates that we put all that behind us and focus on the future.The boys didnt really open up about it too much and my concern is that they bottle it all up which would be counter productive.

The bottom line is she is going in sooner rather than later for the operations and she is also having reconstructive surgery at the same time which involves taking skin from different areas of the body for the reconstruction.So i now have a no brainer in caring for the boys which basically means if i dont do it then the only alternative will be care and over my dead body would that ever happen.But how strange will it be having to cook/clean/school runs and continue to try to work full time or as much as possible all the things that are taken for granted,how will we all cope who knows?? only time will tell but obviously extra pressures will develop and we are entering into unknown territory oh and they have a dog and cat as well to look after,

one thing that was a bit of an issue is the wife and I have booked a holiday for the 1st october to go to cyprus for a week 1 for my 40th and 2 to assist me in my recovery and to tell the truth am not quite sure how that 1 will pan out but the wife is insistant that we go on it,as she says if i was to relapse then we all would suffer but are we being selfish on this? the hurdle on this being who cares for  my youngest while were away, is this something that i should be pushing for her side of the family to cover??? or should i accept that i probably wont be able to go?

Also what do i do when i am looking after them full time do i then drop the maintenance payments to her or continue? this is something i havent approached yet and am inclined to keep the status the same for now

To tell the truth i am quite numb by it all as even though she is my worst enemy i wouldnt wish this on her or the kids.

Like Kev said its hard to know what to say.

Stay strong for the kids and I hope she pulls through. We are all here for support x

Its like this on all threads some we respond to some we dont

[RED-DOG]

What's a holiday compaired to this?

Hopefully, missing a holiday will be the least of your worries.


Sorry. You did ask for opinions, and that's mine.

[Dingdell]

What's a holiday compaired to this?

Hopefully, missing a holiday will be the least of your worries.


Sorry. You did ask for opinions, and that's mine.

I think you should review it nearer the time - all carers need respite help sometimes to have a break - hopefully you are insured so if you have to cancel you might be covered financially.

This is all so new you can't know what will have happened by then, don't try and make decisions for October when you don't know how next week will pan out yet.

Good luck Ian. xx