Personal bad beat situation

[cia260895]

Do i stop this thread as i can see it getting very depressing?

Update..
1 operation today another 1 due next week,cancer apparently spread to the bones and all the lymph nodes in armpit removed.

[Laxie]

I would be careful if I were you.  This sounds more serious now and telling the lads they need to stop fighting so mom can get better, might work against you later.  God forbid she doesn't get better, you don't want them feeling it was their fault.  Sorry if it seems harsh, but it was the first thing that came to me mind when I read the latest updates and wasn't sure if I should post. 

Will make mom feel happy to hear they're getting along, but not make her better.  Am I making sense? 

Hang in there.  You're doing a grand job, all things considered.   

[cia260895]

I would be careful if I were you.  This sounds more serious now and telling the lads they need to stop fighting so mom can get better, might work against you later.  God forbid she doesn't get better, you don't want them feeling it was their fault.   Sorry if it seems harsh, but it was the first thing that came to me mind when I read the latest updates and wasn't sure if I should post. 

Will make mom feel happy to hear they're getting along, but not make her better.  Am I making sense? 

Hang in there.  You're doing a grand job, all things considered.  

God yr so right didnt think of it that way

see still gotta long way to go before full motherhood status is accheived

[Dingdell]

I would be careful if I were you.  This sounds more serious now and telling the lads they need to stop fighting so mom can get better, might work against you later.  God forbid she doesn't get better, you don't want them feeling it was their fault.   Sorry if it seems harsh, but it was the first thing that came to me mind when I read the latest updates and wasn't sure if I should post. 

Will make mom feel happy to hear they're getting along, but not make her better.  Am I making sense? 

Hang in there.  You're doing a grand job, all things considered.  

God yr so right didnt think of it that way

see still gotta long way to go before full motherhood status is accheived

Laxie is spot on. You are doing brilliantly Ian - I can see daddogs catching on. x

[ShatnerPants]

I would be careful if I were you.  This sounds more serious now and telling the lads they need to stop fighting so mom can get better, might work against you later.  God forbid she doesn't get better, you don't want them feeling it was their fault.   Sorry if it seems harsh, but it was the first thing that came to me mind when I read the latest updates and wasn't sure if I should post. 

Will make mom feel happy to hear they're getting along, but not make her better.  Am I making sense? 

Hang in there.  You're doing a grand job, all things considered.  

God yr so right didnt think of it that way

see still gotta long way to go before full motherhood status is accheived

You're more of a woman than I'll ever be.

 

[cia260895]

The high heels do give me leg ache

[cia260895]

A Dads gut feeling: I have been thinking lately that Charlie just didn't seem quite right since i told him we'd have a honesty thing going where if he is worried he can come to me and vice versa during this time of change as neither of us is good at talking bout feelings and stuff.

Anyway..

As i was picking Charlies school shirt up off his bedroom floor, I noticed what looked like a small trainer imprint on the back of it,I asked him how did that get there? he said "when he got back from games it was on the floor" after asking him on purpose or accident? he seemed unsure, i looked at him and he had tears in his eyes,I knew what was coming and yep it turns out he is being bullied,the tears flowed and it was like  a knife through me,

He said it been virtually from the 2ND day he started high school mostly verball but some physical,some of the problems it turns out stem from the playing field,football/rugby basketball etc,(charlie has no coordination whatsoever he just isn't into sports at all,never has been,he will be the 1 who none wants on their team.) but he makes up for it in the intelligence department.He said he only has 8 friends out of 207,the rest don't like him,

Some of them have used his mums condition in the mix saying he'll have to live in a cardboard box soon cos his mum cant work no more,and why don't u just slit yr wrist,you could just see the pain in his face.

I reassured him that he is worth 10 of any of the others and that he is the best son anyone could want. i just cant get that this has been going on for so long.

Am straight onto the school tomorrow morning to get an appointment with either year head or headmaster.

[ShatnerPants]

WP that man 

Good read.

You're getting good at this. 

Horrible for your lad, of course.  But just more proof that he's got the best dad in the world.

[Laxie]

WP that man 

Good read.

You're getting good at this. 

Horrible for your lad, of course.  But just more proof that he's got the best dad in the world.

+1  Yep...deffo a keeper.  {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} to the wee man too.   

[ShatnerPants]

WP that man 

Good read.

You're getting good at this. 

Horrible for your lad, of course.  But just more proof that he's got the best dad in the world.

+1  Yep...deffo a keeper.  {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} to the wee man too.   

I'm afraid i'm rubbish at hugs and stuff.

Is he old enough to take down the pub for a pint or two ?? 

[cia260895]

eventually the school got back in touch with me and after speaking to his year head,obviously they were unaware of this,and want to nip this in the bud asap,She asked me to sit down with Charlie and write down different events that have occured and by whom so that they can start dealing with it,but was reassured that it will be handled delicately with all parties involved.

I had a big long chat with Charlie and he says he feels a lot better having finally talking about it,so we agreed from now on when he gets in from school I'll ask him "how was school" and if he says "fine" then its a no issues day but if he says "a bit iffy" i'll know and we'll talk about it when the time is right,so he knows he wont be going through it alone.(Sometimes due to other parties being present it will reassure him without anyone else knowing)

Charlie wanted to type the list out instead of writing because he can type faster than write here's his list:

Regular events:

•   Mocked by **** **** and ****** because of look (E.g. Hairstyle and look of face)
•   Face grabbed and deformed by *******
•   Had food knocked out of my hand onto the floor by *******.
•   Mocked because of Name and Surname by *******.
•   Put down by countless amount of people during Games and PE because I do something wrong, don’t catch the ball etc…
•   Accused by half my class (Mainly ***** ****,  ******, ********* and **** ****) of calling ****8 racist names. This resulted in a Year of torment and accusations and last year ended up being rugby tackled and beaten up by an unknown person called ***** something and countless amount of people who I didn’t see.
•   Mocked by countless people with Yo’ Momma jokes, some people of which even know she is in hospital (One of them is *** ****)
•   Called names like “Emo” and “****ing neek” by *********,***** **** and ********.
•   Pushed out of conversations by ****** even from conversations I started.
Pushed out of groups by ****** and ******

This is all bar 1 from the start of this present school term.

[cia260895]

The school has taken an in depth statement from Charlie and was he more worried about writing down the swear words used than the actual names and events,the boys involved will be spoken to in due course once the different year heads have all discussed the situation,and charlie has been told to make any teachers aware of any incidents and to keep a diary from now on.
He seemed good and and has a little sparkle back. I asked them bearing in mind what his Mum is going through not to inform her at the mo,but they told me that Alison has specifically asked to be informed of anything and between them they will tell her but maybe not all the details..

Bless him, am dropping him and 5 of his mates off for a days paintballing tomorrow so he can take some anger out there,am taking thomas/Keeley to Thorpe park

Sunday is earmarked for doing nothingness.

[HOLDorFOLD]

Hi Ian

Keep going, you are doing really good stuff here and I love the way you have decided to have the "everything fine" or "a bit iffy" code thing. Nice 1.

Might be best to edit the post though and remove names hun.

Take care
Mich

[cia260895]

Thx so much to learn yet ...

[cia260895]

Well it looks like a quick resolution to Charlies problem has been established which is a huge relief to him.I took him out to bluebeckers for his favourite Ribs last nite and he was the happiest i have seen him in ages.

I took him and 5 of his mates paintballing on Saturday which he loved I think it was just what he needed the chance of unloading some built up anger in a safe controlled manner (wow those places take some money) Below is an email from his school year head,

Dear Mr Attwater
Again sorry that Charlie has had to go through this especially at such a difficult time.
All of the boys involved have now been spoken to and in the main they have admitted to almost all that Charlie has said.
A couple of the boys were very upset as they felt that they were friends and that Charlie had said some unkind things to them. It seems that as they did not realise that Charlie was upset they just continued. It has been made very clear to them how unacceptable their behaviour is and their parents have been informed and support any action that we take.
I have spoken to Charlie this morning and explained everything to him. He said that he felt quite comfortable with it all, but please do speak to him again as I would hate that he just felt he could not tell me or was uncomfortable with the action that has been taken.
I will call Mrs Attwater today and give her an update.
Regards

I would just like to add that as a parent hearing something like i did is absolutely heart wrenching,so to all the parents out there have a chat with your kids and make them feel comfortable in the knowledge that if anything should ever happen to them that they SHOULD ALWAYS speak to someone asap rather than bottling up for years,speaking from personal experience this is easier said than done though.