Personal bad beat situation

[cia260895]

Wow what a night,

The usual for a Wednesday afternoon is: grandparents pick Thomas up from school, come back to the house meet Charlie here then they go to the hospital to see mum then back to grandparents house for tea where I collect them. Giving me an hour or so to get stuck into the washing/ironing..

This afternoon though was different.

I got back about 4.15 and was met on the drive by the ex father in law asking where Charlie was? He said I don’t know , I walked indoors and Thomas was there on his Wii and was told Charlie hasn’t been home bearing in mind he is always home at 3.15,pm.start to panic now, phone the few friends of his I had numbers for all to no avail, as far as they were concerned he’d left school as normal.
Phoned the school and voicemail Fook!!

Told father in law to wait here ill drive around and go to his school, took Thomas with me.

Got to the school and straight into see the year head,she had to check to see if his bike was there then to check attendance, bike was gone and he was in his last lesson. Year head gave me a few other numbers to try and I kept trying home on school phone as no service inside the school, and she phoned her husband (who is in police force) and he said after 2 hours it must be reported looked at clock it was 5.15.So called 999 and was asked for details: last seen, what he was wearing, how tall, what, clothes he had on when I last saw him was there anything upsetting him or worrying him?.Jees that got to me what a horrid situation I just about held it together in front of year head. The police told me to go straight home in case he comes back and that some officers will be round shortly. Year head gave me her home number to call with any developments, jumped back into the car and sped towards the house, on route message alert on phone goes it’s a voicemail Charlie “ hi Dad am home now am just going to the hospital with granddad” tried to ring back no answer. Why did they just go without waiting for Thomas? Called the police to let them know and they said the officers will still come round to check he is ok and take statement. I’m like fook they turn up and Charlie isn’t there omg grrrrrrrrrrr, called his mums phone and spoke to Charlie who quite merrily said hiya we’ll be leaving in about 30mins, got onto father in law and told him that he wont be leaving in 30mins he needs to get home now as the police are on there way to question him,
I get back with Thomas and police followed 5 mins after and Charlie 5 mins after that. All ok and Charlie given talking to by officer. He was round his mates and lost track of time.

I told Charlie bearing in mind all that is going on we will just learn from it and don’t make that mistake again, part of the problem is the school have always said that mobiles are not allowed into school, but there is an unwritten rule that as long as they aren’t switched on and the school are not held responsible for any lost/thefts or breakages then its ok to have them in their possession. So from now he doesn’t leave home without it…




Kids eh?? Am sure I said this parenting gig was easy

[suzanne]

Been there and done it.

Trouble is your kid takes a phone to school but it has to be switched off so whats the point as most kids will not remember to switch it back on when the school day ends.

My oldest son had 2 phones stolen from his backpack at seperate times from the locker room when he was at PE and even though the second time was during first lesson and the school was locked down they refused to search the other kids bags KNOWING the thief could be caught, he had also taken other phones, cd players, cash etc

The policeman I spoke to on the phone was very rude to me, saying a kid of 14 shouldnt have a mobile phone anyway.

I wrote into the local press calling him a right pompous git (or words to that effect) and complaining that surely if a theft has happened kids should turn out their bags, thats what happened when I was at school. Apparently they cant do that anymore  He phoned me and arranged to visit me at home to update.

He picked the wrong lady...I dont back down when im angry grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Keep up the good work Ian..you are doing a grand job x

[cia260895]

Thx suze but at least if he has the fone he'll be able to switch it on lol


At last a little bit of good news it looks like the ex will be released from hossie on tuesday & is going to go home to her house,her chemo/radio starts in about 2 weeks time so even if its 2 weeks at my house ill settle for that am 1 happy boy

 

[ShatnerPants]

Just catching up.

Hope things are still moving in the right direction

[cia260895]

To tell you the truth I'm not sure where things are moving really,I know she is starting chemo/radio soon but not sure when and if I will be needed to look after the boys,I suppose it depends on how she feels.I know the boys are both happy she is home.6 weeks without your kids must be tough on both sides.I do feel in a it of limbo at the mo have asked but I didn't get a very good response,relations between me and the ex are still very strained,Believe me I have tried.

it does seem a bit weird not being there for the boys and i do miss it,I am sure I'll be doing it again.But BOY it was tough going,so at the mo I'm just enjoying a bit of downtime.

Also thx to all that gave me advice and encouragement during the Mrs Doubtfire weeks..

[ShatnerPants]

I know chemo is a real drain, so I'm sure your help will still be needed.

Recharge your batteries, so Captain Dadtastic will be firing on all cylinders when necessary.

Have you bought yourself a cape yet ?

[cia260895]

yup and mask 

[cia260895]

Latest update is that Chemo starts next monday but she has to have a scan as there is a shadow on her vertabrae sounds like its spreading to me,

I have asked if i'll be needed to look after the boys but as of yet have had no reply sometimes i just wish she would open up a little bit more but it seems i'll be last on the list to find out whats going on

[ShatnerPants]

Latest update is that Chemo starts next monday but she has to have a scan as there is a shadow on her vertabrae sounds like its spreading to me,

I have asked if i'll be needed to look after the boys but as of yet have had no reply sometimes i just wish she would open up a little bit more but it seems i'll be last on the list to find out whats going on

She must be shitting herself at the moment.  Assume you'll be needed, and have a backup plan with the mrs if you're not.  But don't worry about her keeping it all in - it's her loss.  You just concentrate on the lads.

PS Who was it that said you should have been wearing a mask for the last 10 years anyway ?

[cia260895]

Latest update is that Chemo starts next monday but she has to have a scan as there is a shadow on her vertabrae sounds like its spreading to me,

I have asked if i'll be needed to look after the boys but as of yet have had no reply sometimes i just wish she would open up a little bit more but it seems i'll be last on the list to find out whats going on

She must be shitting herself at the moment.  Assume you'll be needed, and have a backup plan with the mrs if you're not.  But don't worry about her keeping it all in - it's her loss.  You just concentrate on the lads.

PS Who was it that said you should have been wearing a mask for the last 10 years anyway ?

Stetson i could understand but mask??

[cia260895]

Update:

Alison(ex)
The shadow on the vertebrae is deterioration whatever that means?? but not cancer,BUT she now has another lump which i presume is in her breast to which she is having a scan tomorrow with results on Monday,abusive texts to myself have started again but i am just ignoring them what else can i do??

Charlie (son) No more incidents of bullying since which is great news and he is really happy.. and he is going to join air cadets which from what he says is pretty cool..

Thomas (son) is going to start having behavioural therapy as he is kicking off quite a bit at the mo (understandable) but its getting to the point that the girls are starting to get scared of him when he kicks off,and if this isn't sorted i can see it leading to major problems in the future,he is also boarding an extra day which I'm sure helps the ex,and he really enjoys it..

Wife's Nan  bless her she is 89 and it looks like she will be at peace imminently and the wife is really took this badly but at least they have had a bit of time to get used to it.She really is a tops women and ill miss her as well...

Vincent (cousin) A year and a day after my brother died from the big C Vincents wife lost her battle with it,and ever since Vincent has said that he wouldn't be around for the 1st anniversary of her passing,after  after  few attempts to take his life he was sectioned under the mental health act,he subsequently convinced them that he was OK to which they released him.His mum came down and spent the week with him after they let him out of hospital,she went home last Saturday and Vincent hung himself on sunday he really couldn't go on without his wife....RIP Vincent...


am trying to hold it all together but fk it is hard but i will get there eventually sy its been a grim read...

[cia260895]

Wife's Nan  bless her she is 89 and it looks like she will be at peace imminently and the wife is really took this badly but at least they have had a bit of time to get used to it.She really is a tops women and ill miss her as well...

RIP Elizabeth your be sorely missed xx

[Laxie]

Sympathies to you and yours.  xx

[Snatiramas]

My heart goes out to your whole family mate.......thinking of you

Snatx

[Dingdell]

Oh Ian I feel so sorry for everything you are going through. It really does put everything in perspective for the rest of us.

So so sorry.

Give your boys a big hug next time you see them - they are what makes all of this worth it. xxx