Im not really called Dave:A blog of a bloke who plays poker then writes about it

[DaveShoelace]

I’m starting to become something of a poor man’s Flushy at the moment, in that I want to be involved in staking anyone that asks, but for more modest percentages. I think it was watching Henrik playing the other day, the kid has potential and I think he is a real handful to play against, nice and loose which is what I want to see in a tournament pony. Watching someone else play for you I can only assume is a bit like being a director of a football club, watching some other poor sod graft away for your enjoyment and getting a smug feeling that in some way you were the brains behind the operation. So staking is my current novelty hobby, even though my entire stake return for the year is about $11 I’ve got a few quid tied up in about 3 SNG ponies which I think could see a little return.

Is anyone else off to Bolton this week? I’m going down a couple of times this week for the side events and then I think I will be giving the main event a miss and playing the 3-2-1 instead. I’m probably playing tomorrows £200 and the £250 PLO in Bolton, I’ve never actually been, is it nice? Is it like Phoenix Nights?

Stu and Dumplings tonight.

[AlexMartin]

was the grand any good?

[DaveShoelace]

was the grand any good?

havent watched the 2nd half yet

[ariston]

being from bolton i can safely say you will feel overdressed with both your ears.

Will be there from tomorrow if you want a pint and dont bother with the second half of the grand- couple of good gags in it but overall very very poor

[The_nun]

Tx to a very kind friend I will be there tomorrow.

[DaveShoelace]

I reported someone for attempted collussion today. I was waiting for my missus to get ready and played a STT on iPoker and we were on the bubble. I shoved and this gimp told everyone to call me, he then announced his hand twice as his shoved into the chip leader and showed it to be the same hand when they folded. Finally he told a player that he shouldnt have shoved into my short stacked ass because I was pot committed and he didnt want me to double up.

Thankfully I cashed but was a bit gutted he did too, had to report him, from what i was saying back to him and his reponse i dont think he really knew that he was colluding, but I reckon he will now as support have told me he got a bollocking (didnt use those words) for it.

Incidently, the STTs on iPoker seem exceptionally soft, I'm very glad I'm staking a few Blondes to play on them and if I have a good month at the tables in September might offer to fully stake someone (No nipping PMs please, I havent decided to yet) on Blonde. I saw today that there are now ten man STTs where 5 players double their stake and thats it, doesnt seem a particularly high expectation sort of game to me, especially with the rake. Maybe a 'triple up' nine man stt would be better?

[DaveShoelace]

I actually have a bit of spam, which I would not dream of posting on a Blonde thread but I'm sure people who like things with money added to them can figure out to click the external blog link below.

I assure you this would be the only time I use this blog thread indirectly spam something.

I feel so dirty


Edit: Mods, if this is too blatant just remove it and I apologise in advance.

[sovietsong]

I actually have a bit of spam, which I would not dream of posting on a Blonde thread but I'm sure people who like things with money added to them can figure out to click the external blog link below.

I assure you this would be the only time I use this blog thread indirectly spam something.

I feel so dirty

I for one love added money, but as you very well know dave, I am currently on an STT mission thanks to your good self.  Things looking up abit since last PM, just rounding off another session as i got chance to play in the end!  PM on way shortly!

[DaveShoelace]

Baaaahh, bluuudy technology.

The isolation is getting to me and I’ve spent the last 24 hours shouting at machines. It started yesterday when I made my way to Bolton to donate to the GUKPT £220 comp. My quote unquote SmartNav waited until I was about 6 miles away from the Grosvenor to tell me I was going the wrong way and there was an hour’s worth of traffic delays ahead of me. I’ve never been to the Bolton Grosvenor before, but I knowwhere Bolton is and the old Sat Nav was telling me to go the other way, so I decided against listening to it (especially when it told me to do a U-turn on the motorway) and just drove towards Bolton.

So I spent the next few minutes screaming “you stupid fucking sat nav, how the hell do I get there, I cant believe you sent me all this way and now I’m lost, damn youuuuu, damn youuuu to helllll!!!!”

“Oh wait, it’s there”

Thank god the Bolton Grosvenor is massive and near the motorway and I managed to accidently find it despite being told it was an hour away.

It was a full house in Bolton last night and I assume it didn’t finish last night, with over 150 runners. The structure was great and with a 45 minute clock there were no complaints, however I did have a bit of a gripe with the hour dinner break after level 2. Mainly because I ran like my missus during a sale to get to the buffet in time but also because by the time level 3 started it was nearly 11pm and few players busted and it looked like being a long night.

It’s probably not very EV, but I do not want to grind in a tournament like this, the last thing I would want to do is have to return the next day without a guaranteed payout, especially because I would have basically driven home, slept for 40 minutes and drive back. So I played like a maniac after the dinner break to either get a big stack for a possible day 2 or get a good night’s sleep instead. It was to be the good night’s sleep and I was gone by the end of level 4.

I woke up this morning, loaded up my computer and it told me to install ‘service pack 1’ which seemed like a perfectly reasonable request so I did exactly what it told me to. After an hour it finally finished installing it and I found out what the function of ‘service pack 1’ was – to royally fuck up your computer beyond use. Several hours, temper tantrums and verbal torrents later I eventually bit the bullet and took it down to the local smelly but efficient PC repair man where low and behold, it just started working again for no reason. It seems all it needed was for me to take all the leads out and plug them back in rather than the tried and tested method of turning off and on again?

I’m no Bill Gates, but surely that’s bollocks? I’ve never known of unplugging the keyboard and monitor and plugging in again to fix a problem. Either way it works now and all I had to do was waste 4 hours of my life pulling my hair out and cursing at the top of my voice.

Does anyone know how the side event finished last night in Bolton?

[Redbull]

Hey Barry, enjoying the dairy. Keep it up fella 

[Laxie]

That latest post had me in stitches!  Finish watching the second part of the film yet?

[DaveShoelace]

That latest post had me in stitches!  Finish watching the second part of the film yet?

No not yet. We recently got Sky Movies and have been having something of a movie marathon over here because the weather is so poor, and the Grand has gone onto the back burner.

The big problem is that prior to Sky Movies, if there wasnt anything on then Sky Sports would be playing round the clock, but now old Mrs Shoelace appears to have commandeared the telly box. In the last week I have been forced to watch Sister Act 2, Robin Hood Prince of Theives, Robin Hood Men in Tights, Witches of Eastwick and random bits of other chick flicks.

I did see a classic the other day, 'Im Gonna Git you Sucka' a Shaft Spoof.

A mate has just sent me this, which made me laugh:

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/08/07/man-almost-loses-penis-humping-steel-bench/

silly sod, why didnt he just use a water wing between two mattresses or a toilet roll holder with some liver inside?

[DaveShoelace]

Back to my weight loss mission and I actually havent weighed myself for about 3 weeks, just because Id been getting pissed a lot for my birthday/friends wedding etc and I chickened out of knowing the truth. But, and its a big but, I've been doing really well and have been enjoying the gym. In the last couple of weeks people have commented on me losing weight and best of all, a bunch of fancy shirts I bought in Vegas two months ago that turned out to be too small for me (I was so sweaty in the Las Vegas heat I really didnt want to try them on, plus as my girlfriend reminds me, im such a bloke) now fit very nicely with room too spare. So tommorow Im gonna weigh myself and hope its under 15st (Last weigh in a month back was 15st 3lbs).

I have been invited to the first Sky Poker UK Tour event at DTD next weekend by the peeps at Sky Poker, the chap on the phone was kind enough to say they wanted me there because I was 'big player in the poker industry' which did pamper the ego a little, what I actually think he meant was 'Liv Boeree, John McCririck and Phil Cooklin were all unavailable so lets get that bloke from Pokernews to come'. Either way I reckon it could be a giggle and if it means I can shamelessly get my VC Poker shirt on screen its a bonus. It will be an interesting few days because I'm also off to Lincoln to play heads up against Alfa, the world record attempt chappy and also to Leicester to play in 'The Best Homehame in the Eastmidlands' with George2Loose and co.

Funny name that, Best Game in the East Midlands, its a bit low expectation if you ask me, Id call in 'Best Homegame in the UK' or nothing. East Midlands is such a small area, its a bit like me saying I'm the best poker player to hail from Chestefield Road in Woodseats, Sheffield - which I could well be. Im certainly the best poker player in my house.

Just to remind those that havent looked at my previous spam post but the bounty on my head spam thing is tonight, click the standalone blog below for details.

[DaveShoelace]

Im actually a pound heavier lol. I wont bother using the age old saver spouted by us fatties that muscle weighs more than fat, instead I'll just prey its an extra big dump trying to work its way out and weigh myself again later.

Last night was the debut (and possible finale) of Get Carter a bounty tournament put on by my sponsors VC poker. I didnt want to promote it here because its another iPoker skin and didnt want to give the mods a hard time and make myself seem like a spam artist. I wish I had now because it only had 18 sodding runners, which I was a bit gutted about because it was well advertised in magazines. It was won by none other than pro ball bagger Amatay and I went out on the money bubble after being chip leader from the start. I was actually gutted not to make the modest money because I really wanted to hand it back to VC Poker as an apology for the low turn out. But why break what I call my sponsorship curse of not cashing once or even making a day 2 since I became a VC Poker player in February?

Of course it isn't their fault, I blame the credit crunch.

There is another thread running right now about 'is online poker getting tougher?' and I am in no doubt it is. The average $100nl player these days probably has more knowledge of the game than the entire clientbase of Napoleans combined and it is harder to find the valoooooooooo. But it does exist and game selection is my speciality, here are some of my top tips for where to find the softer games:

Any game early in the morning
I’d always known this for a different reason but my coach pointed another great reason to me yesterday. On the rare occasion I play 6 max on Full Tilt, it usually is in the morning, because it’s stupid o’clock over in the states where most of the traffic is from. They are tired, pissed, stoned, trying to win back their losses and generally the games are much looser, you only have to look at the players to see a flop and average pot sizes in the lobby to see this.

But my coach also pointed out to me that this is a good time to play the Euro centric sites too, because of a distinct lack of tough regs, and it’s true. Sure there are less games going, but generally they are a lot softer and although you might not find any complete whales at the table, it’s certainly an easier morning’s work.
The worst time to play is deffo noon til six pm, because this is when all the regs get out of bed and start their daily grind, much better to wait til the evening when the gamblers get back from work.

Heads Up vs shortstackers
Cash game players are supposed to hate shortstacker right? I used to too, until I discovered this little gem. I play a lot of heads up cash and my game selection method could not be simpler – look for someone who hasn’t bought in for the full amount. This is almost always the sign of a fish and all you have to do is wait for top pair and get the money in the middle. Heads up cash is all about being able to play all the streets and players that buy in short cannot do this, you don’t get professional short stackers in heads up cash. Not only that, but if you see a player at a $2/$4 table with $243.37 then most of the time, this player is gambling with their entire bankroll because why would they buy in for such a random amount? – easy money.
Just be wary of those that top up to the full amount after the first hand.

iPoker SNGs
No big speech here, they are just are really soft and attract a lot of gamblers, particularly at the $100-$200 games. Don’t expect anyone to understand or have heard of ICM, the structure is pretty bad but worth it completely, much better than at stars or tilt where even some of the low stakes games have a lot of tougher multi tablers.

[Amatay]

What times do you play in the mornings then Barry. I have actually spoke to a few full time fish who wake up about 5.30-6am and do very nicely for themselves