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boldie
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« Reply #285 on: July 22, 2010, 08:16:25 AM » |
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On the eve of our anniversary my wife and I agreed that whoever woke up first in the morning should wake the other one with oral sex.
Come the morning I was up first so I slowly pulled back the covers...
... and stuck my cock in her mouth.
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Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
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roverthtaeh
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« Reply #286 on: July 31, 2010, 07:06:22 PM » |
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Guy says to his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
She says, "I'd take half the money and leave you."
"Great", he says, "I won 10 quid. Here's a fiver, now fuck off".
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When I grow up, I'm gonna be stable.
When I grow up, I'm gonna turn the tables.
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Treeman
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« Reply #287 on: August 01, 2010, 02:15:13 PM » |
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A big dirty farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"This is the pig I have to f**k when you're not up for sex."
His wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep."
He says: " I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!"
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Splash
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« Reply #288 on: August 03, 2010, 04:31:32 PM » |
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Three legged dog walks through the swings doors and into the saloon....
I'm lookin for the man who shot my paww!
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".....and Buckley ponders how to play Aces to lose the maximum."
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boldie
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« Reply #289 on: August 05, 2010, 10:49:49 AM » |
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Daily Telegraph: Shark swims ashore in New Jersey.
What? Where the hell did he buy that from?
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Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
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TightPaulFolds
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« Reply #290 on: August 05, 2010, 11:23:20 AM » |
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Daily Telegraph: Shark swims ashore in New Jersey.
What? Where the hell did he buy that from?
Finland |
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bobAlike
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« Reply #291 on: August 05, 2010, 01:42:42 PM » |
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Daily Telegraph: Shark swims ashore in New Jersey.
What? Where the hell did he buy that from?
His mum knitted it for him, obv. |
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Ah! The element of surprise
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henrik777
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« Reply #292 on: August 05, 2010, 06:32:05 PM » |
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An army Captain takes his post in Iraq, "whats this camel doing tied up outside the barracks soldier?"
Soldier replies "there are 250 men here and no women, sometimes the men get 'urges' sir!"
A month passes and the Captain starts to get urges of his own. So he puts a ladder behind the camel, gets up and shags the camel senseless.
After finishing he gets down and says "is that how the other men do it soldier?"
soldier "errrm, no sir. the men usually ride it to the brothel!"
Sandy
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MKKfish
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« Reply #293 on: August 13, 2010, 01:30:58 PM » |
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I met a girl in the park and asked her, "Do you like movies?"
"Not really," she huffed.
"That's a shame", I said, "Because you're about to experience strong language, extreme violence and scenes of a sexual nature."
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henrik777
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« Reply #294 on: August 13, 2010, 02:05:04 PM » |
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My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance.
It's a cool feature but I didn't think the 'LOL' was necessary.
Sandy
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david3103
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« Reply #295 on: August 13, 2010, 03:42:40 PM » |
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I've taken up a new hobby, modelling wild animals from waste material.
My first attempt was a croc of shit
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It's more about the winning than the winnings
5 November 2012 - Kinboshi says "Best post ever on blonde thumbs up"
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henrik777
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« Reply #296 on: August 13, 2010, 05:04:32 PM » |
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I've taken up a new hobby, modelling wild animals from waste material.
My first attempt was a croc of shit
Should've just printed out a Cos post imo. Sandy |
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GreekStein
Hero Member
Hero Member
 Offline
Posts: 20912
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« Reply #297 on: August 13, 2010, 07:52:54 PM » |
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I've taken up a new hobby, modelling wild animals from waste material.
My first attempt was a croc of shit
Should've just printed out a Cos post imo. Sandy Feel free to go fuck yourself Cos |
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@GreekStein on twitter.
Retired Policeman, Part time troll.
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david3103
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« Reply #298 on: August 14, 2010, 08:21:17 AM » |
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I've taken up a new hobby, modelling wild animals from waste material.
My first attempt was a croc of shit
Should've just printed out a Cos post imo. Sandy wtf? Does personal animosity have to spread to every board? |
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It's more about the winning than the winnings
5 November 2012 - Kinboshi says "Best post ever on blonde thumbs up"
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henrik777
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« Reply #299 on: August 14, 2010, 09:47:01 AM » |
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Apologies, i forgot it was either Boshi or Boldie i should have typed.
Sandy
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