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Author Topic: Joke!!  (Read 315003 times)
TightEnd
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« Reply #375 on: September 20, 2010, 02:23:44 PM »

I once tried to get the autograph of the Actor who played "The Equaliser" but got distracted by his wife

Tuurns out I couldn't see the Woodward for Dotrice.



(one for the old timers)
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boldie
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« Reply #376 on: September 20, 2010, 02:53:10 PM »

From the great Rodney Dangerfield;

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price
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Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
RED-DOG
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« Reply #377 on: September 20, 2010, 03:57:10 PM »

So they glued me to a yak.
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rex008
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« Reply #378 on: September 20, 2010, 04:41:05 PM »

Oh dear. Now Tighty has reminded me of this gem:

What do you call a man with a tree on his head?
Edward
What do you call a man with 3 trees on his head?
Edward Woodward
What do you call a man with 4 trees on his head?
I don't know but Edward Woodward would!!

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« Reply #379 on: September 20, 2010, 05:13:46 PM »

Just been to Asda and I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread.

But when I got closer, it actually said,

"THICK CUT"
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boldie
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« Reply #380 on: September 20, 2010, 05:24:25 PM »

I was watching the news the other day and they were showing the floods in Pakistan.

They showed this woman, standing there in her flooded living room, crying.

I just thought; You know, if anything, you're just making it worse.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2010, 05:30:26 PM by boldie » Logged

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« Reply #381 on: September 20, 2010, 05:26:41 PM »

In a cave, I found pictures of women's breasts, but when I picked them up, a giant net fell on me.

Damn booby trap.
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« Reply #382 on: September 20, 2010, 05:29:52 PM »

Please make him stop...
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Girgy85
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« Reply #383 on: September 20, 2010, 10:45:35 PM »

Please make him stop...

+1 use ur powers mr dog!
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« Reply #384 on: September 21, 2010, 11:55:16 PM »


Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you'll wish you had a club and a spade. 
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boldie
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« Reply #385 on: September 22, 2010, 12:24:29 PM »

I invented gloves.

Okay, I'm lying but I did have a hand in it. 
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Girgy85
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« Reply #386 on: September 22, 2010, 01:37:28 PM »

I invented gloves.

Okay, I'm lying but I did have a hand in it. 


Please stop with these garbage efforts!! They are not jokes IMO!!
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Best poster Girgy IMO - Mantis

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Think Girgy has shown the best leopard instincts in this thread and would prob survive best in the wild. Eye of the tiger that fella - Mantis

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« Reply #387 on: September 22, 2010, 01:43:26 PM »

I invented gloves.

Okay, I'm lying but I did have a hand in it. 


Please stop with these garbage efforts!! They are not jokes IMO!!

people in glass houses.....Grin

After the 1st hour in prison George Michael had a chocolate bar shoved up his arse.

Prison officers said it was just a careless wispa!
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« Reply #388 on: September 22, 2010, 03:07:40 PM »

Not a joke but I did lol

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-11380834

Police so incompetent nowadays, and this is just the tip of the iceberg
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boldie
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« Reply #389 on: September 22, 2010, 03:17:31 PM »

How does that even look like lettuce?..what kind of shitty stuff does the BBC reporter eat?

Quite lol that the reporter dares to question the quality of police work in that one.
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Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
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