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booder
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« Reply #900 on: March 23, 2012, 10:56:43 PM » |
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The march went past our house, I heard them chanting this.........
'What do we want...........time travel'
'When do we want it.......doesn't matter'
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Quote from: action man
im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #901 on: April 10, 2012, 08:17:14 PM » |
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I saw a homeless man sitting on a park bench and I tried to share a kebab with him, but he told me to bugger off and buy my own.
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The older I get, the better I was.
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bobAlike
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« Reply #902 on: April 10, 2012, 09:01:43 PM » |
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I found my first grey pube last night...
It was right in the middle of my kebab.
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Ah! The element of surprise
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #903 on: April 23, 2012, 10:11:59 PM » |
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Apparently one in every seven friends has a gambling addiction.
My money's on Vinny.
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The older I get, the better I was.
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smashedagain
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« Reply #904 on: April 24, 2012, 01:30:21 AM » |
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6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.
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[ ] ept title
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[ ] wsop braclet
[X] mickey mouse hoodies
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #905 on: April 24, 2012, 04:22:42 AM » |
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On average, one in four of your friends will turn out to be gay.
I hope it's Vinny, he's super cute.
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The older I get, the better I was.
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geordieneil
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« Reply #906 on: April 24, 2012, 06:15:01 AM » |
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They say one in every five friends have an alcohol problem.
I'll drink to that.
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outragous76
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« Reply #907 on: April 24, 2012, 11:53:18 AM » |
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6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.
Very good, made me laugh out loud (I'm on a train - sigh) |
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".....and then I spent 2 hours talking with Stu which blew my mind.........."
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smashedagain
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« Reply #908 on: April 24, 2012, 11:58:12 AM » |
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6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.
Very good, made me laugh out loud (I'm on a train - sigh) Stolen from the wife |
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[ ] ept title
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #909 on: April 27, 2012, 06:49:14 PM » |
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So I told the doctor about my hearing problem. "Can you describe the symptoms?" He asked. "Yes" I replied. "Homer is a fat lazy bloke and Marge is a thin bird with blue hair".
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The older I get, the better I was.
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smashedagain
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« Reply #910 on: April 27, 2012, 07:02:47 PM » |
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So I told the doctor about my hearing problem. "Can you describe the symptoms?" He asked. "Yes" I replied. "Homer is a fat lazy bloke and Marge is a thin bird with blue hair".
Lol |
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[ ] ept title
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[X] mickey mouse hoodies
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rex008
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« Reply #911 on: April 30, 2012, 03:31:38 PM » |
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Archaeologists digging on a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in Chocolate and Hazelnuts.
Experts believe it could be Pharaoh Roche.
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"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." - Douglas Adams
The secret to a happy life - "Never pass up a chance to have sex or appear on television." - Gore Vidal
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #912 on: April 30, 2012, 03:38:51 PM » |
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Archaeologists digging on a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in Chocolate and Hazelnuts.
Experts believe it could be Pharaoh Roche.
Lol. |
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The older I get, the better I was.
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outragous76
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« Reply #913 on: April 30, 2012, 03:47:25 PM » |
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A Geordie walking along the banks of the Tyne finds a magic lamp, gives it a little rub and out pops a genie
Genie: As a thank you for releasing me from this lamp I grant you a wish
Geordie: I would like to live forever
Genie: I am afraid that I am unable to grant you that particular wish, please ask for something else
Geordie: Ok, Id like to live to see the day Sunderland play in the champions League
Genie: ooooooh you crafty twat
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".....and then I spent 2 hours talking with Stu which blew my mind.........."
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #914 on: May 02, 2012, 04:20:29 PM » |
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I've just remembered this joke from my childhood. When I first heard it, I laughed all day. I'm laughing again now. I apologise in advance.  John Wayne is buying an ice cream in the cinema. Lady: "Would you like crushed nuts?" John Wayne: "Would you like your tits blowing off?" |
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The older I get, the better I was.
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