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bobAlike
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« Reply #945 on: June 21, 2012, 08:59:47 PM » |
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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop
Dr Dre
This fred is full of win at the moment. |
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Ah! The element of surprise
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EvilPie
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« Reply #946 on: June 22, 2012, 07:30:04 PM » |
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A Policeman pulled me over on the Motorway.
He came to the window and said "Papers", so I replied "Scissors, I win", and drove off.
He must want a rematch because he's been chasing me for miles now.
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Motivational speeches at their best:
"Because thats what living is, the 6 inches in front of your face......" - Patrick Leonard - 10th May 2015
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FUN4FRASER
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« Reply #947 on: June 22, 2012, 07:44:42 PM » |
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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop
Dr Dre Exceptionally Good  |
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bobAlike
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« Reply #948 on: June 22, 2012, 08:34:28 PM » |
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We call our grandad 'spiderman'.
He hasn't got any special powers, he just has difficulty getting out of the bath.
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Ah! The element of surprise
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ManuelsMum
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« Reply #949 on: June 22, 2012, 11:26:47 PM » |
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I did lol quite hard at that  |
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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
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geordieneil
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« Reply #950 on: June 23, 2012, 07:24:43 AM » |
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I hear England striker Danny Welbecks father was a bomb disposal expert in the army he was called Stan Welbeck.
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Kev B
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« Reply #951 on: June 30, 2012, 03:54:35 PM » |
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I just recieved a text, not sure if it's a prank:
"Congratulations you've won a £250 voucher or free tickets to see an Elvis tribute act. Press 1 for the money 2 for the show."
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henrik777
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« Reply #952 on: July 08, 2012, 09:49:29 PM » |
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The makers of GoalRef and Hawk-Eye goal-line technology have told Rangers they can't use the system next season.
Apparently it doesn't work with goal posts made from jumpers.
Sandy
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TopTen
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« Reply #953 on: July 10, 2012, 02:34:46 PM » |
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My Wife texted me earlier,
"Why don't you ever put an x at the end of your texts?"
I replied,
"Sorry babe. Michelle."
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #954 on: July 10, 2012, 03:12:50 PM » |
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My Wife texted me earlier,
"Why don't you ever put an x at the end of your texts?"
I replied,
"Sorry babe. Michelle."
Xelent. |
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The older I get, the better I was.
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millidonk
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« Reply #955 on: July 10, 2012, 03:16:59 PM » |
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My Wife texted me earlier,
"Why don't you ever put an x at the end of your texts?"
I replied,
"Sorry babe. Michelle."
Xelent. Xquisite |
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Kev B
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« Reply #956 on: July 10, 2012, 06:45:40 PM » |
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My Wife texted me earlier,
"Why don't you ever put an x at the end of your texts?"
I replied,
"Sorry babe. Michelle."
supercalifragilistice xpialidocious |
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jackinbeat
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« Reply #957 on: July 14, 2012, 07:46:31 PM » |
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I saw Subways lunch offer today - '£3 - Choose between 9 Subs and a Drink'
Erm... Fucking 9 Subs please.
lol |
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What do I get, no sleep at night.
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Simon Galloway
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« Reply #958 on: July 15, 2012, 02:02:35 PM » |
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My missus packed my bags and as I left she screamed "I wish you a slow and painful death"
Make your mind up woman, now you want me to stay...
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MANTIS01
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« Reply #959 on: August 05, 2012, 12:10:56 PM » |
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Made the girlfriend moan and groan last night, went on for over an hour, she kept screaming out "Give it to me. I'm so wet. Give it to me now".
I thought sod that it's my brolly and we're almost home now.
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