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Author Topic: Joke!!  (Read 310284 times)
RED-DOG
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« Reply #1245 on: June 15, 2018, 12:03:23 PM »

But it's up there.
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TightEnd
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« Reply #1246 on: June 24, 2018, 04:19:24 PM »

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband’s funeral.

A man leans in to her and says, “do you mind if I say a word?”.

“No, go right ahead”, the woman replies.

The man stands, clears his throat, says “Plethora”, and sits back down.

“Thanks”, the woman says, “that means a lot”.
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My eyes are open wide
By the way,I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out today
RED-DOG
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« Reply #1247 on: July 03, 2018, 09:44:10 PM »

My doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. I'm worried shitless.
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scotty2hatty
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« Reply #1248 on: July 12, 2018, 11:04:33 PM »

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband’s funeral.

A man leans in to her and says, “do you mind if I say a word?”.

“No, go right ahead”, the woman replies.

The man stands, clears his throat, says “Plethora”, and sits back down.

“Thanks”, the woman says, “that means a lot”.

Month and a half late Tighty, cracker though.
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bobAlike
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« Reply #1249 on: July 19, 2018, 12:09:06 AM »

My wife told me “the sex is always better on holiday”.

Got to admit it’s not the best postcard I’ve ever received.
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Ah! The element of surprise
RED-DOG
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« Reply #1250 on: July 19, 2018, 12:39:51 AM »

My therapist says I'm obsessed with toilet humour. I'm not, but I daren't argue with him, he's built like a brick shithouse.
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bobAlike
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« Reply #1251 on: July 28, 2018, 01:37:58 PM »

An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He' s travelled the world, swam with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountains.

It came as no surprise his name was Bindair Dundat.
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Ah! The element of surprise
RED-DOG
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« Reply #1252 on: August 09, 2018, 10:48:20 AM »

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
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bobAlike
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« Reply #1253 on: August 09, 2018, 02:19:57 PM »

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

The tie?
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Ah! The element of surprise
alen.fantasy
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« Reply #1254 on: August 09, 2018, 02:23:45 PM »

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire Cheesy
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #1255 on: August 09, 2018, 08:18:44 PM »

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire Cheesy


 thumbs up
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atdc21
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« Reply #1256 on: August 10, 2018, 06:57:37 PM »

A lady is walking past a pet shop when she sees a sign in the window ' pussy eating frog in shop'
Having had amphibians as pets she was intrigued about this , so she went in and said to the assistant
'' what is a pussy eating frog ? ''
The assistant replied ' Bonjour Madam '
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #1257 on: August 26, 2018, 07:12:22 PM »

I've just been on a once in a lifetime holiday.  I'll tell you what, never again.



I've just sold my Hoover. Well, it was just gathering dust.




Theft in multi-story car parks, it's wrong on so many levels.
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bobAlike
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« Reply #1258 on: August 26, 2018, 11:24:02 PM »

What’s the difference between cigarettes and Islamic jihadists?

You can only get 200 cigarettes in the UK before the authorities start asking questions.

Oh dear
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Ah! The element of surprise
Pokerpops
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« Reply #1259 on: August 27, 2018, 06:16:35 PM »

I've just been on a once in a lifetime holiday.  I'll tell you what, never again.



I've just sold my Hoover. Well, it was just gathering dust.




Theft in multi-story car parks, it's wrong on so many levels.


People who liked these, will also enjoy most of the rest of Tim Vine’s work Smiley

Sorry, I never did get the hang of YouTube insertion

https://youtu.be/VPaZfeAYUyk
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"More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."
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