I'm sitting writing this in quite a lot of pain, have done in my ankle after a heavy fall and have about 100 scratch marks all over my body. Dunno yet if ankle is broken or just badly sprained.
Took a shortcut across a field two days ago when going to the train station, cuts 10 minutes off my journey. Fields were clear and I was making good progress.
I approached the intersection of four fields, each had an opening to the intersection where their thick border hedges ended. I was about 20 metres short as I spotted them. A herd of about 40 cows approached the opening, suddenly very aware of my presence. I stopped abruptly, but the cows didn't; they started filtering through the opening towards the field I was in, 10 of them now flanking me on one side. Aware that they were starting to surround me in large numbers, and with no immediate way to escape I started waving my arms and shouting. This stopped a couple coming through but seemed to encourage a couple of others to come right at me. I stared down to 'check for udders', but fml there were none and I realised I might be in trouble. One of them had decided to 'take me on' and started making side-on posturing and lowering his head a bit. I charged at him briefly and he flinched but started moving towards me again. During this whole exchange another dozen cows had moved into the field and had assembled 20 metres behind him, all staring at me.
Things now looking pretty bad. I weighed up my options.
-Run back the way I came, 500 metres to safety. Cows would probably chase. Could I outrun them? If not, trampled.
-Keep waving arms, shouting. Cows aren't being fazed by this and are surrounding me in growing numbers.
-Back off slowly, facing them. 40 metres to nearest hedge, very large, maybe insurmountable.
I took one large lunge at the defiant bullock, didn't flinch this time. Something about this particular action really pissed off the others and they all started coming down the hill now, closing on me fast. I turned and ran. With the thunder of hooves behind me I closed down on the hedge and then threw myself on to it with everything I had. Large thorns pierced my trousers, jacket, as I caught the black and white flash of the bullock charging the hedge just short of my feet, followed imminently by a sea of monochrome fury. Somehow I managed to get my legs up and over, crashing backwards over the other side, smashing my ankle on a rock as I landed. No pain felt, Flight-or-F*cked system blocking all other signals. I get up and see them all assembled at the hedge, snorting and peering. Hoping to god they don't know the way around, I limp off as fast as I can through the field to the main road, and safety.
Have discussed it since with farmer neighbours ("Turn and run") and friends ("Stand up to them"/"Wave your arms") with no clear consensus on how to approach what was, in all honesty, a totally terrifying situation. They look from a distance like the world's most docile creature but I know that if I didn't make the leap or they catch up to me, I am butted and trampled and it could easily be lights out.
Turns out it's a fairly common occurrence.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8134778.stmhttp://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8114529.stmThis one made me lol so hard I almost forgot the pain:
http://paraglidetv.com/index.php?id=3689&itemid=14&option=com_seyret&task=videodirectlinkDon't think I'll be going near any fields for a while. Will be eating as many steaks as I can for the forseeable future though.
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