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Author Topic: Reverse Cow Quiz #1  (Read 2856 times)
G1BTW
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« Reply #15 on: September 04, 2009, 10:46:46 AM »

http://www.nwemail.co.uk/news/barrow/cattle_stamping_court_case_a_genuine_beef_or_milking_the_system_1_579318?referrerPath=home

SHIRLEY McKaskie was walking her dogs near her home when a herd of cattle, which had young calves, reacted violently in protection of their brood.

She suffered serious head injuries and was hospitalised for months following the incident in May 2003.

Last year Miss McKaskie, of Croft Barn, launched a £1m claim against farmer John Cameron, of Millrigg Farm, near Greystoke, Penrith.

She has now been awarded an interim pay-out of £250,000 – plus £100,000 costs – but this has been put on hold pending an appeal from the farmer.

Her legal team argued the 40-strong herd, a number of which had calves, had the potential to be unpredictable. But they were being grazed on land which had a public footpath crossing it, with no signs to warn of possible danger.

The court heard that she had veered away from the line of the footpath, but Judge Howarth ruled that the route was not clearly marked.

He stated in his ruling: “It is fairly argued on behalf of Miss McKaskie that Mr Cameron plainly demonstrated a lack of concern which route was adopted by walkers when trying to use the footpath.”

Miss McKaskie’s legal team said they were delighted the wait was finally over.

But as the farmer has indicated he wishes to appeal, they will now have to wait to determine the full scale of compensation.

The farming community has expressed extreme disappointment over the ruling, and farmers are worried if the appeal is unsuccessful the agriculture industry will become another victim of an excessive claims culture.



Bet that tort him a lesson. I going for a bit of a gambol today methinks...
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kinboshi
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« Reply #16 on: September 04, 2009, 10:47:33 AM »

Take a video camera with you.

Are you going to grab the bull by the horns and take the short-cut again?
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gatso
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« Reply #17 on: September 04, 2009, 10:49:51 AM »

Take a video camera with you.

Are you going to grab the bull by the horns and take the short-cut again?

nah, apparently he thought butter of it
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G1BTW
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« Reply #18 on: September 04, 2009, 10:50:57 AM »

Take a video camera with you.

Are you going to grab the bull by the horns and take the short-cut again?

I only have my old black and white camcorder.

I'll give it a go, if they look troubled I'll have to steer clear.
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gatso
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« Reply #19 on: September 04, 2009, 10:53:32 AM »

this may just be the greatest joke ever


knock knock
who's there?
cowsgo
cowsgo who?
no, cows go moo
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kinboshi
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« Reply #20 on: September 04, 2009, 10:55:29 AM »

Take a video camera with you.

Are you going to grab the bull by the horns and take the short-cut again?

I only have my old black and white camcorder.

I'll give it a go, if they look troubled I'll have to steer clear.

Nooooooooooooooo.  That was my next pun!!

Bullocks.
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G1BTW
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« Reply #21 on: September 04, 2009, 10:55:37 AM »

this may just be the greatest joke ever


knock knock
who's there?
cowsgo
cowsgo who?
no, cows go moo

moool!
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G1BTW
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« Reply #22 on: September 04, 2009, 10:57:37 AM »

Take a video camera with you.

Are you going to grab the bull by the horns and take the short-cut again?

I only have my old black and white camcorder.

I'll give it a go, if they look troubled I'll have to steer clear.

Nooooooooooooooo.  That was my next pun!!

Bullocks.

lol
Herd that one somewhere else
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pokefast
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« Reply #23 on: September 04, 2009, 11:05:49 AM »

Could you not have got the cows moooooooooooved on?
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« Reply #24 on: September 04, 2009, 12:53:07 PM »

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work........
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"Because thats what living is, the 6 inches in front of your face......" - Patrick Leonard - 10th May 2015
kinboshi
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« Reply #25 on: September 04, 2009, 12:57:10 PM »

It was a cold winter morning and Farmer Giles is out checking his prize herd.

As they come into sight he is shocked by the sight that greets him. They are all standing still as statues. On closer inspection he discovers that each and every one is frozen solid. Not knowing what to do or who to turn to the farmer sits on the field gate and begins to think of the repercussions from such a calamity. Without the cows he can't produce milk. Without milk he will have nothing to sell. Without having any income he will probably lose his farm.

At that moment an elderly lady approaches and asks what's wrong. Upon hearing of the farmer's predicament she proceeds to wander slowly around the field of cows. As she touches each cow it slowly defrosts and comes back to life. After the final cow is mobile again the little old lady disappears over the horizon.

As the farmer stands in stunned silence a man approaches and says quietly, Pretty amazing, eh?' Amazing?' shouts the farmer. It's a miracle, the most incredible thing I've ever seen. Who was that woman?' Oh' says the man, that was Thora Hird'.
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Rod Paradise
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« Reply #26 on: September 04, 2009, 02:44:25 PM »

this may just be the greatest joke ever


knock knock
who's there?
cowsgo
cowsgo who?
no, cows go moo

2nd best. Best is:
knock knock
who's there?
daisy the interupting cow
daisy the...
MOOOOO!!!
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