Chompy's Recidivist 2010 G Luton League/Scrabble thread

[Dingdell]

Popped into Luton on the way back from a night out last night only to bump into Chompy leaving. Asking him if Tikay was still in led him to laugh maniacally as he walked towards his white pimpmobile shouting gleefully "I knocked him out early doors".

I witnessed one of the shortest final tables ever with all ins being called all over the place and Captain (I used to fly planes you know) Pullar several places by avoiding any action at the table as he was distracted by attempting to explain mathematical and game theory to me as I sat on the rail.

[ ] I sure understood every word he said.

Don't you know a chat up line when you hear one ?

Level surely? A man discussing that he has a pulse is a chat up line as far as I am concerened. I spend a lot of time in A&E sussing out potential suitors.

[Chompy]

Name                 Played Won  2nd  3rd  Other   Pts      Score
The Baron            1      0    0    0    2       17       17.00
Celtic               8      3    0    0    2       65       8.13
2Tight               4      1    0    0    1       28       7.00
Winkie               6      1    0    0    3       37       6.17
Ericredkite          6      0    0    1    2       28       4.67 *
Simon G              8      0    1    1    2       33       4.13
Sir Donksalot        22     2    1    2    2       89       4.05
Boer Wars            53     7    2    4    9       206      3.89
Jonnyplum            31     3    1    1    6       120      3.87
Greg Sighmuns        19     3    0    0    2       70       3.68
Luther               46     3    1    2    10      159      3.46
G-Rodge              26     2    1    2    4       81       3.12
Claw                 18     2    1    0    0       45       2.50 *
Ropey Flush          6      0    1    0    0       15       2.50
Chompy               32     3    2    0    2       79       2.47 *
Tikay                18     1    1    0    2       44       2.44 *
Free Rollin          4      0    0    1    0       9        2.25
Lucky                24     2    1    0    1       53       2.21
Pizzled              33     2    1    1    3       70       2.12
LittleRedRidingHood  20     1    1    0    3       42       2.10 *
Tightend             10     0    0    1    2       21       2.10 *
Unimaginative        25     2    0    1    2       50       2.00
China Mug            66     0    4    2    10      127      1.92 *
Evil Edna            61     4    0    1    5       114      1.87 *
Holdyfoldy           22     0    0    1    5       41       1.86 *
Drain Alien          26(!)  0    1    0    6       48       1.85 *
Nirvana              34     1    1    2    2       63       1.85
Dingdell             15     1    1    0    0       27       1.80
Xpressman            38     1    1    2    2       62       1.63 *
Handsome Paul        13     1    0    0    0       21       1.62
W4SP                 7      0    0    0    1       11       1.57
Rockstar             66     2    2    0    7       99       1.50 *
British Gas          24     0    1    0    3       34       1.42 *
Alex                 7      0    0    0    1       9        1.29
RUHolding            17     0    1    0    0       17       1.00
Jeff Buff            6      0    0    0    1       5        0.83 *
Gamblor              1      0    0    0    0       0        0
Snatiramas           5      0    0    0    0       0        0 *
Inthebelly           3      0    0    0    0       0        0
Pelham Boy           5      0    0    0    0       0        0 *

Updated up to Mon 26 April

* - April total included

April table
Name                 Won  2nd  3rd  Other   Pts
Celtic               3    0    0    1       57
Xpressman            1    1    0    1       38
Evil Edna            2    0    0    1       37
Chompy               2    0    0    0       30
Pizzled              0    1    1    1       30
Plumsy               0    0    0    3       24
Nirvana              0    0    2    0       21
______________________________________________
Sir Donkeys          0    0    2    0       21
Tikay                1    0    0    0       18
Loofah               0    0    0    3       15
Lucky                0    1    0    0       15
Ericredkite          0    0    0    2       13
Dingdell             0    1    0    0       12
Claw                 0    1    0    0       12
Holdy                0    0    0    2       10
LittleRed            0    0    0    2       10
Winkie               0    0    0    1       10
Unimadge             0    0    0    1       10
Tightend             0    0    1    0       9
Simon G              0    0    1    0       9
Drainy               0    0    0    2       9
British Gas          0    0    0    1       7
G-Rodge              0    0    0    1       6
J-Buff               0    0    0    1       5

Fantasy League
'Gotcha' (A.Gotch)                               508
'G-Man's Perfect Night In' (G.Rodge)             480
'The Rock-Steady Crew' (P.Noonan)                382
'Jonny’s Plums' (D.Johnson)                      382
'Re-Binked' (A.McBride)                          363
'A Glass Half Full' (G.Henderson)                355
'Most Of The Time They Can't Call' (G.Wheldon)   355
'Fake Madrid' (G.Symons)                         334
'Holdorfantasyfolk' (M.Bashir)                   311
'Edna's All Stars' (E.Adams)                     305
'Deer's Testicles FTW' (G.Kan)                   300
'Prime Beef' (J.Buffenbarger)                    296
'Alien Attack' (D.Allen)                         283
'Hurrah, It's The Luton Rifles' (M.Jarvis)       277
'TV's Anthony Kendall' (A.Kendall)               273
'Property Express All-Stars' (I.Needleman)       269
'Muck All In' (C.Poulton)                        254
'I'll Never Be As Good As Chompy' (V.Calenti)    238
'Ball Till U Fall’ (A.Martin)                    220
'If You Can't Beat'Em, Join'Em' (G.Dealer)       206
____________________________________________________
'League Of Unlikely Donklemen' (D.Onksalot)      206
'Last Men Standing' (P.Ephremsen)                199
'Sad Muppet Time' (D.Colton)                     189

Sawl up to date yawl.

[luther101]

Aha, Tit Tuesday     ...       how we've missed you!

That glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the tube, or sitting on the train, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.

And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, Tit Tuesday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy. For Tit Tuesday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin.

After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.

Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...

And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Tuesday.

Not that it always falls on a Tuesday. Like Easter, Tit Tuesday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Tuesday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 23 April.

And then, of course, there is Tit Tuesday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.

But as the poet said: one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make - and two posts by Semtex doesn't make a nice pair     .....       just one tit!

[GMan]

Luther down boy!!!

Tracey did he use " Do you want to fly my plane?" line?

[Claw75]

Luther down boy!!!

Tracey did he use " Do you want to fly my plane?" line?

and did he invite you into his cockpit?

[HOLDorFOLD]

Luther down boy!!!

Tracey did he use " Do you want to fly my plane?" line?

or use the "I'll take you to dizzy heights" line ??

[The_nun]

Luther down boy!!!

Tracey did he use " Do you want to fly my plane?" line?

or use the "I'll take you to dizzy heights" line ??

Or did he just plain old say, let me take you 30 thousand feet in the sky and coat you with my volcanic ash..

[the sicilian]

Popped into Luton on the way back from a night out last night only to bump into Chompy leaving. Asking him if Tikay was still in led him to laugh maniacally as he walked towards his white pimpmobile shouting gleefully "I knocked him out early doors".

I witnessed one of the shortest final tables ever with all ins being called all over the place and Captain (I used to fly planes you know) Pullar several places by avoiding any action at the table as he was distracted by attempting to explain mathematical and game theory to me as I sat on the rail.

[ ] I sure understood every word he said.

Don't you know a chat up line when you hear one ?

Level surely? A man discussing that he has a pulse is a chat up line as far as I am concerened. I spend a lot of time in A&E sussing out potential suitors.

Ding ambulance chases only from affluent areas

[GMan]

I see you girls have done lots of (pilots) whoops i mean flying!!

[The_nun]

I see you girls have done a few (pillocks) whoops i mean flying!!

FYP

[Dingdell]

I see you girls have done a few (pillocks) whoops i mean flying!!

FYP

This. Sigh.....

[Claw75]

I see you girls have done a few (pillocks) whoops i mean flying!!

FYP

This. Sigh.....

+ a few

[luther101]

An extract from;

The Secret Poker Diary of Pedro Biggleswort Aged 43 3/4

Tuesday 27th of April.

On waking, I rushed over to the computer. I had to push the dog off the Executive swivel chair - he was not happy, as he was busily licking his nether regions.

I quickly checked the Hendon Mob database, "Hurrah - my win at Morn Till Evensong is still there". I phoned my loving girlfriend, Nirvana, so she could share my joy. She was very rude telling me to, "phuqq right off". Apparently four thirty in the morning disturbed her sleep patterns. I forgave her. I am so in love with Nirvana - even though she smokes Marlboro Lights.

Then it was straight on to the Blonde Forum to see if my witty reply to an On-line Oaf - with the rather sinister name of Lex Luther (he might well be a terrorist) - had registered much mirth amongst my fellow poker intellectuals.

Disaster! Only one comment - in some strange cypher - by a Miss Christine Poulter. I really truly expected witty praiseful remarks from Lord Chimpy, I suppose he was busy down in that cellar again.

Indeed there was another baffling post by my Arch Enemy - something to do with the arrival of certain birds in Spring     .....    I smirked - he knows little about ornithology - he's obviously unaware that there are so many different species of tit (long tailed, bearded, marsh, rufous, fire browed), ha!

After phoning my trainer, Mr Pond (who's not far behind Mick McManus and Boxcar Willie in the all time winners list in the Egg and Spoon race at the annual Luton Carnival), I settled down to meditate and concentrate on the buildup to my next big poker adventure     .....    The Redbourne Women's Institute five pound re-buy event this Friday.

Nirvana said she'd come with me, but only if there's some Balti sausage rolls included in the player's buffet. I do so love Nirvana, I am so lucky to have her.

[Claw75]

wtf are you on luther?

[Dingdell]

wtf are you on luther?

I was scared to ask Claire! I am completely befuddled by this entire thread at the mo!