big shout out to european, chopping the $10k high roller with WCG Rider for $460k, and playing for another $75k now! Very happy for Sammy <3 He will record both he ST and the 10K as videos for anybody who joins the stable
Personally, so frustrated! Things went so well first 2 weeks, I played as good as I could have, maybe not the best possible because I'm far from perfect, but I gave it everything and played my A game. I had a lot of cashes, in the bet with the swedes and our guys I cashed more than anybody, but that big score kept escaping me, I would lose some huge pot with 10-40 left, but kept very positive, knowing I'd get one huge chance.
This was my graph since Vegas, lots of good, consistent runs without a HUGE bink, but I didn't feel like I craved that big bink, I was satisfied with this.
| Click to see full-size image. |
I had lots of good runs in live games too, $200k score in Barca, $40k score in Barca, $65k score in Aria etc. I was feeling like right now I was just really in the zone and enjoying playing every day.
Day 2 of the mix max was yesterday, I started so well, the tournament format was really perfect for me, I could play a lot of pots and was able to get into levelling wars with regs etc.
I managed to get to 1/11 and had a great table 3 handed, first place was $100,000 and the WCOOP title which I really strived for. This time last year I had similar thing, great first 2 weeks of WCOOP and then a final table in the $2k shootout and then came 5th and was pretty sad and then bink in the $700 6max for $100k.
I kept myself composed, didnt reg the $10k, kept 6 tables maximum on a huge Sunday, alongside this run I was 5/120 in the $1k ultra deep, another tournament I really love. This was the Sunday I was looking forward to.
1 hour later, I was out of both.
What happened? How did I take it? How was the rest of the session? How is things now?
The Ultradeep wasn't really that Brutal. I played this hand, which is kinda interesting. we're around 15 from the money and bb is huge nit.
http://www.boomplayer.com/poker-hands/Boom/20733082_DFF6AC457CI could take different lines, but I think this is the best. if he folds, great. If he goes all in, great. If I win a huge flip I'm one of the big stacks in the tournament, will chip up really great on the bubble, if I lose the flip I'll fold to the money. I think he's jamming worse pairs in this spot for sure and he may even think I'm playing 100% 3bet range here.
I felt pretty OK after losing it, I had the huge sweat in the mix max and was focused.
Over the next 45 minutes I lost
TT v AT
AK v TT
TT v 99
QQ v JJ
and then one other hand that was really quite interesting.
I defend QTo vs the fish.
Flop QT5r, I had feeling he thought I was owning him in every pot. He bet and usually I'd just call here, but he was so sticky/punty, I decided to c/r big, he called.
Turn QT5A, very bad card, but I think I still have value bet, I bet, he calls.
River QT5A9, pot 400k, I bet 135k or something and he has a5.
Obviously his flop bet/cal is horrific, perhaps I should have just check/folded the river, its really gross/sick spot and really unsure what best line is vs a whale, but I just assumed he always has AJ/AK/Q9/KQ/Q5/T5 etc that I can get value from. Anyway that was really hurting.
Another hand I played bob was limping and betting flop with J8 on J92, he had 27% fold to c-bet, he calls, it runs out J9222 and he bets turn half pot and river 2x pot and I end up calling. Felt really gross spot, perhaps another spot I could maybe fold, but I'm unsure.
Anyway, busted QQ vs his JJ aip and felt really sick after. Elmerixx and Euro were both railing and rooting really hard for me and think felt my pain a lot too.
I played the rest of the session but had this frustrating run on my mind alot and let it effect me more than it should have done. My HUD broke down mid session and that was obviously very annoying.
I woke up today and didnt really want to play. I had been so motivated for the last 2 weeks and was just waiting for this one chance, accepting any other failed run, but for some reason this hit me really hard. I know last year I wrote about being genuinely sad when busting the 10k 6max KK v AK and people laughed a little, but this was somewhat similar. It's super super super standard for MTT's, don't get me wrong. The reason I had felt bad about the 10k 6max last year was because I was losing some very important flips in tournaments previously and I kept telling myself, no problem, it doesn't bother me, amazing mental game, elliot roe yo. And then when the ace hit, it all hit me hard. I think this is a little bit similar, I lost qq vs igors 88 in Aria on xxxx8 and afterwards I really wanted to say to myself and everybody that I didn't care about losing the all in. Same thing in Barca, 1/14 to 14th to Kitty Kuos brutalise, all my horses were there, I wanted to pretend its fine, I wasn't effected, I probably convinced myself too. The final table in Barca where that tool backfired and value bet the arse high of the straight vs my KK and then QQ v KK to bust. I told my parents, friends, horses "NO PROBLEM| with a huge smile on my face.
This tournament failure is just very similar to the 10k 6max last year, I denied to myself and everybody I was sad about losing and then it all crashed back down.
The fact is, when you're winning huge tournaments, winning every important flip and everybody is congratulating you you feel like the best person in the world, invincible, but when thinks don't go your way, you start interacting slightly less, you start isolating yourself a little bit more and poker can get very lonely and depressing (don't worry guys not trying to claim I'm clinically depressed this time)
I think I just needed to get that out and say, it's ok to be sad with losing, it's normal. If you don't get nervous or upset then you aren't human. It's normal to have reactions and be sad/unhappy but I think its important to realise when you are unhappy and sad. Today was definitely the lowest day of WCOOP for me, I didn't want to play, I didn't feel great playing, but its really important I turn the corner of this mini blip. All that happened was that I lost 5 all ins, I had to run good to get there right?
I will sleep well tonight, come back tomorrow and be as focused for battle as I can. The bet vs the Swedes is very close (Sams 2 scores both don't count) Euros Skype signature is "I'm going to give it my all" and that's exactly what I plan to do tomorrow. Moving forward I'm going to try and be honest with myself and the blog how I feel after sessions, really try and be honest with myself with the bad things I did in the session and be as critical of my game and mindset as possible.
The whole built up sadness is one of the worst feelings in poker, at least for me.
I know this sounds ridiculous when I posted a graph of my stable winning $700,000 this month
the money really doesn't matter for me, winning or losing x$ won't change my way of life or the way I approach life, I'll still play the same games even if I win the Super Tuesday and if I go on a little downswing I will still play the same games. Its the whole "being successful" and getting something visible out of what we do as a reward, whether that be a first place WCOOP bracelet (oh wait) or whatever else.
fwiw I came 2nd in Omaha Powerfest today for a breakeven session after all!
p.s I eat minimum 2x packet of blueberries every day... How ****ing good??
p.p.s dont hate me for moaning pls
p.p.ps best motivational video/article/advice gets 1% freeroll for my WCOOP main, lfg
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