Its Broken

[The-Crow]

I get sick and tired of excuses some shops will use to explain their faulty equipment

Heres a few

" This Automatic door currently only operates manually "        No   Its Broken

" the Lift is being Serviced "                                                No   Its Broken

" This cash machine only gives on-screen balances "                No   Its Broken

" The coffee machine has Hot Water only"                            No   Its Broken

" Sorry Sir we have run out of Ice"                                       No The Ice machine is BROKEN

" No Change given "                                                           No   Its Broken

" Wi Fi not available "                                                          No   Its Broken

" No hot food , cleaning in Progress "                                   No  the Ovens Broken

" The Escalator is undergoing Maintenance"                            No   Its Broken


" My brain hurts , should I take a pill"

[The-Crow]

Also heres a few labels I spotted

Found attached to the sleeve of a famous Poker presenter

[thetank]

What tilts me is the ubiquitous 'Sorry for any inconvenience caused'

Got signs at work that say...

Cleaning in progress
Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

and it drove me mad because there's another set of toilets literally 10 yards to the left. Sorry for any inconvenience caused doesn't tell them that. It says hold it in, you're goosed. (and if they're desperate they're more likely to come in while I'm cleaning the ladies loos and say, ooh don't mind me)

So I changed the signs to say

Cleaning in progress
Please use alternative facilities to the left.

and the punters then look left, and they find themselves another set of dunnies, and they go have a big happy piss in one of them.


Manager saw this and flipped. Come back from my day off and all my signs have been changed back to 'Sorry for any inconvenvience caused'
The thought of a sign that doesn't have this phrase on it seemed to offend their sensibilities of what people should say on A4 signs that they print out and stick onto doors with blutac.

So I appealed to the boss that that the punters (or guests if you like) would prefer to be offered a solution to their problem (needing a piss) rather than a dry apologetic phrase that is repeated to the point of it seeming insencere.

So now we have the horrible compromise.

Cleaning in Progress
Please use alternative facilities to the left
Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

I had to eat that, as they lock you up when you care too much about this sort of stuff, but I'm sorry, that's just fucking rubbish.

Too much information, people aren't going to read all that.
What's worse, if they do read it, they're going to assume it's 2 miles to the left as they're being told that it's an inconvenience.

So are we to add in something like, 'a few short paces' to the second sentence. That just makes the too much information problem worse, may as well write an essay and put it on the door.
You don't read the whole thing, but your eyes do immediately scan the familar sentence 'sorry for any inconvenience caused' and that's enough to decide you're goosed (or that you're coming in anyway)

Redirecting yourself to pisssing place B instead of pissing place A is not an inconvenience when pissing place B is next goddam door to pissing place A. We do not need to apologise for this.

Even if we did, 'sorry for any inconvenience caused' is not the way to do it. That sentence says 'you're fucked and we don't care.' Which is awful coz they're not fucked and we really do care.

Maybe a bit too much.

[The-Crow]

Went to Milton Keynes today to get my Crows feet trimmed by baby piranha's

They had gone, but in Next was an escalator out of action " Having Maintenance done "

Usually Maintenance is done after hours when the shop is closed

NOT at  11am in the morning,  ITS BROKEN, grrrrr

[tikay]

What tilts me is the ubiquitous 'Sorry for any inconvenience caused'

Got signs at work that say...

Cleaning in progress
Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

and it drove me mad because there's another set of toilets literally 10 yards to the left. Sorry for any inconvenience caused doesn't tell them that. It says hold it in, you're goosed. (and if they're desperate they're more likely to come in while I'm cleaning the ladies loos and say, ooh don't mind me)

So I changed the signs to say

Cleaning in progress
Please use alternative facilities to the left.

and the punters then look left, and they find themselves another set of dunnies, and they go have a big happy piss in one of them.


Manager saw this and flipped. Come back from my day off and all my signs have been changed back to 'Sorry for any inconvenvience caused'
The thought of a sign that doesn't have this phrase on it seemed to offend their sensibilities of what people should say on A4 signs that they print out and stick onto doors with blutac.

So I appealed to the boss that that the punters (or guests if you like) would prefer to be offered a solution to their problem (needing a piss) rather than a dry apologetic phrase that is repeated to the point of it seeming insencere.

So now we have the horrible compromise.

Cleaning in Progress
Please use alternative facilities to the left
Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

I had to eat that, as they lock you up when you care too much about this sort of stuff, but I'm sorry, that's just fucking rubbish.

Too much information, people aren't going to read all that.
What's worse, if they do read it, they're going to assume it's 2 miles to the left as they're being told that it's an inconvenience.

So are we to add in something like, 'a few short paces' to the second sentence. That just makes the too much information problem worse, may as well write an essay and put it on the door.
You don't read the whole thing, but your eyes do immediately scan the familar sentence 'sorry for any inconvenience caused' and that's enough to decide you're goosed (or that you're coming in anyway)

Redirecting yourself to pisssing place B instead of pissing place A is not an inconvenience when pissing place B is next goddam door to pissing place A. We do not need to apologise for this.

Even if we did, 'sorry for any inconvenience caused' is not the way to do it. That sentence says 'you're fucked and we don't care.' Which is awful coz they're not fucked and we really do care.

Maybe a bit too much.

Michael O'Leary would love you, Thomas.

[bhoywonder]

Cones at entrance and exit of a petrol station when on a shift changeover or counting the till or whatever it is that goes on....tilts the feck outta me

[The-Crow]

Another annoying sign

in a well known restaurant  " All-Day Breakfast" says the sign

in small print " served until 11.30am on Saturday and Sunday "

grrrr

[TightPaulFolds]

Escalator temporarily out of order temporarily stairs

FYWS




Who's that for?

[Royal Flush]

Escalator temporarily out of order temporarily stairs

FYWS




Who's that for?

People who can see

[TightPaulFolds]

Escalator temporarily out of order temporarily stairs

FYWS




Who's that for?

People who can see

Who use guide dogs? Misguided imo

[MANTIS01]

I am a manager of businesses and thus I am ultimately responsible for the putting of signs on things. And I see things from a different perspective

I resist using the words "Sorry for any inconvenience caused" chiefly because I'm not actually sorry and I don't believe inconvenience is being caused. For instance with the cleaning of toilets I would suggest that customers having clean toilets is not an inconvenience. In actual fact it should be an absolute joy for the customer to walk into toilets that are regularly cleaned. But if customers desire clean toilets they must anticipate that at some point they will be cleaned. Yeah, you could clean them out of hours to seemingly lessen the inconvenience but you would in fact pay a higher premium for such a service which would ultimately be transferred to the customer via increased prices and thus actually heighten inconvenience. Furthermore, what tilts me is the obligation to provide a signage solution to the toilet out of order dilemma if there is indeed another set of toilets 10 yards away. Why are people so clueless that they have to be shepherded to a solution that's staring them right in the face. Any customers who wet themselves because they couldn't locate the alternative facility a few paces away deserve such an indignation imo. Some customers would expect, neigh demand, that a member of staff piggy back them to the alternative facility, unzip their flies, and take out there winkie whilst apologising profusely for the inconvenience.

[Cf]

I am a manager of businesses and thus I am ultimately responsible for the putting of signs on things. And I see things from a different perspective

I resist using the words "Sorry for any inconvenience caused" chiefly because I'm not actually sorry and I don't believe inconvenience is being caused. For instance with the cleaning of toilets I would suggest that customers having clean toilets is not an inconvenience. In actual fact it should be an absolute joy for the customer to walk into toilets that are regularly cleaned. But if customers desire clean toilets they must anticipate that at some point they will be cleaned. Yeah, you could clean them out of hours to seemingly lessen the inconvenience but you would in fact pay a higher premium for such a service which would ultimately be transferred to the customer via increased prices and thus actually heighten inconvenience. Furthermore, what tilts me is the obligation to provide a signage solution to the toilet out of order dilemma if there is indeed another set of toilets 10 yards away. Why are people so clueless that they have to be shepherded to a solution that's staring them right in the face. Any customers who wet themselves because they couldn't locate the alternative facility a few paces away deserve such an indignation imo. Some customers would expect, neigh demand, that a member of staff piggy back them to the alternative facility, unzip their flies, and take out there winkie whilst apologising profusely for the inconvenience.

Please please please print that out and put it on the door of the toilets next time you have them cleaned.

[Claw75]

Escalator temporarily out of order temporarily stairs

FYWS




Who's that for?

People who can see

Who use guide dogs? Misguided imo

eh?  level?

[TightPaulFolds]

Escalator temporarily out of order temporarily stairs

FYWS




Who's that for?

People who can see

Who use guide dogs? Misguided imo

eh?  level?

lol It was a joke so I wasn't really prepared to defend the loose logic but....as a seeing person, is it that relevant to you that guide dogs may be permitted?

[Claw75]

Escalator temporarily out of order temporarily stairs

FYWS




Who's that for?

People who can see

Who use guide dogs? Misguided imo

eh?  level?

lol It was a joke so I wasn't really prepared to defend the loose logic but....as a seeing person, is it that relevant to you that guide dogs may be permitted?

I dunno if i'm getting sucked into a bigger level here but - the signs are surely to prevent dog owners who are told their pets can't enter a premises from kicking up a big fuss because 'that blind woman over there is allowed to take her dog in'