Prose from a Poshboy

[tikay]

Sick sick rubs from tikay.

Seriously though, don't ask yourself whether you enjoy it, but whether you enjoy it more than having a proper job. If the answers yes then stop being down about it, know how luck you are and grind through the variance. I only say that because that's how I look it at when my confidence is low and things are going bad. I don't know anyone in poker who's confidence hasn't taken a hit when things are going bad no matter how good they are. I believe this is your first proper downswing yeah ? The harshness of it gets easier and dealing with the swings will be a major factor to how long you last doing this as it seems like a few good players on here who grind the pokers think your good enough to do it so that should give you confidence boost you need. If your mood continues to swing so much like that based on results then I'd genuinely suggest doing something else.

?

It's not a hobby for Alex.

Oh, I see.

I had assumed it was a hobby, my apologies if it seemed like a rub, it 100% was not intended, but most of my views remain the same.

1) Why do something that you don't enjoy for the most part?

2) Perhaps he'd enjoy it more if he stepped back & reflected on a few things, & looked at the game, & those who play it, slightly differently.

For sure, he's a a fine boy, good looking, got everything in life he could ever dream of, but his head sometimes gets in a bit of a mess because of poker. That just makes no sense to me. 

Be it hobby, or his job, he should not do it if it upsets his mental equilibrium. Or maybe he just needs to adjust to how he thinks about the game, & his opponents.

[tikay]

Tikay, when I look over the past 6months there isn't anything I'd rather have done - I don't think how much I like it is in question here. I love it. And I'm being completely honest there. Maybe just reading this diary gives a slightly biased view of how much - I always post after sessions, so over the last 2-3months I've been at bit miserable generally directly afterwards. This morning, I've woken up and my first thought was "Oh well, never mind about yesterday, let's do better today". That and "Oh no I wrote that horrible whinging post on blonde last night!". I'm sure anyone that knew me well could post on here testifying to how much I love it.

I think the question is whether I can take it. I'm not sure yet, it's hard, but I'm still young trying to figure it all out. I think I can, because I haven't woken up this morning feeling like fk poker I don't wanna play again. I wanna get back in the ring and fight through it!

That's good.

If you don't mind me asking, are you making a decent living at it? Not this week, or last week, I mean overall? Over 6 months, how much profit per week do you average? £500 per week? £1k per week? More? Less?

[cambridgealex]

Out of interest, how much do you review your play? Do you take notes? Depend on memory pre/post-sleep?

I review pretty much everything. Just ask Andy or whoever I'm grinding a session with, whenever I'm unsure about something, I'll always pester them for advice. I post in the PHA section all the time as well, put up lots of my own hands, discuss others' so whenever I'm unsure about anything I'll always make sure I sort it. Live, i'd say 99% of decisions are straightforward - I rarely make mistakes to be honest.

[cambridgealex]

Tikay, when I look over the past 6months there isn't anything I'd rather have done - I don't think how much I like it is in question here. I love it. And I'm being completely honest there. Maybe just reading this diary gives a slightly biased view of how much - I always post after sessions, so over the last 2-3months I've been at bit miserable generally directly afterwards. This morning, I've woken up and my first thought was "Oh well, never mind about yesterday, let's do better today". That and "Oh no I wrote that horrible whinging post on blonde last night!". I'm sure anyone that knew me well could post on here testifying to how much I love it.

I think the question is whether I can take it. I'm not sure yet, it's hard, but I'm still young trying to figure it all out. I think I can, because I haven't woken up this morning feeling like fk poker I don't wanna play again. I wanna get back in the ring and fight through it!

That's good.

If you don't mind me asking, are you making a decent living at it? Not this week, or last week, I mean overall? Over 6 months, how much profit per week do you average? £500 per week? £1k per week? More? Less?

I'm up about £11k in that time, so that's about 500 a week, bit less. Long term it's never going to be enough if I don't move up stakes, but I'm not in a rush. I'll take the step up when I can/feel ready. I'd much rather make a bit less in the short term and avoid going broke rather than go broke trying to getrichquick.

[mondatoo]

Sick sick rubs from tikay.

Seriously though, don't ask yourself whether you enjoy it, but whether you enjoy it more than having a proper job. If the answers yes then stop being down about it, know how luck you are and grind through the variance. I only say that because that's how I look it at when my confidence is low and things are going bad. I don't know anyone in poker who's confidence hasn't taken a hit when things are going bad no matter how good they are. I believe this is your first proper downswing yeah ? The harshness of it gets easier and dealing with the swings will be a major factor to how long you last doing this as it seems like a few good players on here who grind the pokers think your good enough to do it so that should give you confidence boost you need. If your mood continues to swing so much like that based on results then I'd genuinely suggest doing something else.

?

It's not a hobby for Alex.

Oh, I see.

I had assumed it was a hobby, my apologies if it seemed like a rub, it 100% was not intended, but most of my views remain the same.

1) Why do something that you don't enjoy for the most part?

2) Perhaps he'd enjoy it more if he stepped back & reflected on a few things, & looked at the game, & those who play it, slightly differently.

For sure, he's a a fine boy, good looking, got everything in life he could ever dream of, but his head sometimes gets in a bit of a mess because of poker. That just makes no sense to me. 

Be it hobby, or his job, he should not do it if it upsets his mental equilibrium. Or maybe he just needs to adjust to how he thinks about the game, & his opponents.

Pretty sure he knew it wasn't a rub  .

It's pretty impossible to do this and not have slight emotional swings as it's just that type of "job". The fact that Alex posts on sessions regularly means sometimes the raw emotion is going to come out straight after a bad day, just like it would if someone had a bad day doing any job really. If he's feeling good today and ready to get back at it then there's no real problem. I don't believe there are many people who enjoy what they do for a living, so as I say, the question for me is do you enjoy it more than if you where doing something else, when the answers no, it's time to stop.

[tikay]

Sick sick rubs from tikay.

Seriously though, don't ask yourself whether you enjoy it, but whether you enjoy it more than having a proper job. If the answers yes then stop being down about it, know how luck you are and grind through the variance. I only say that because that's how I look it at when my confidence is low and things are going bad. I don't know anyone in poker who's confidence hasn't taken a hit when things are going bad no matter how good they are. I believe this is your first proper downswing yeah ? The harshness of it gets easier and dealing with the swings will be a major factor to how long you last doing this as it seems like a few good players on here who grind the pokers think your good enough to do it so that should give you confidence boost you need. If your mood continues to swing so much like that based on results then I'd genuinely suggest doing something else.

?

It's not a hobby for Alex.

Oh, I see.

I had assumed it was a hobby, my apologies if it seemed like a rub, it 100% was not intended, but most of my views remain the same.

1) Why do something that you don't enjoy for the most part?

2) Perhaps he'd enjoy it more if he stepped back & reflected on a few things, & looked at the game, & those who play it, slightly differently.

For sure, he's a a fine boy, good looking, got everything in life he could ever dream of, but his head sometimes gets in a bit of a mess because of poker. That just makes no sense to me. 

Be it hobby, or his job, he should not do it if it upsets his mental equilibrium. Or maybe he just needs to adjust to how he thinks about the game, & his opponents.

Pretty sure he knew it wasn't a rub  .

It's pretty impossible to do this and not have slight emotional swings as it's just that type of "job". The fact that Alex posts on sessions regularly means sometimes the raw emotion is going to come out straight after a bad day, just like it would if someone had a bad day doing any job really. If he's feeling good today and ready to get back at it then there's no real problem. I don't believe there are many people who enjoy what they do for a living, so as I say, the question for me is do you enjoy it more than if you where doing something else, when the answers no, it's time to stop.

I hope that is not true. If it is, I'm utterly amazed.

I must have run good for 48 years!

[mondatoo]

Sick sick rubs from tikay.

Seriously though, don't ask yourself whether you enjoy it, but whether you enjoy it more than having a proper job. If the answers yes then stop being down about it, know how luck you are and grind through the variance. I only say that because that's how I look it at when my confidence is low and things are going bad. I don't know anyone in poker who's confidence hasn't taken a hit when things are going bad no matter how good they are. I believe this is your first proper downswing yeah ? The harshness of it gets easier and dealing with the swings will be a major factor to how long you last doing this as it seems like a few good players on here who grind the pokers think your good enough to do it so that should give you confidence boost you need. If your mood continues to swing so much like that based on results then I'd genuinely suggest doing something else.

?

It's not a hobby for Alex.

Oh, I see.

I had assumed it was a hobby, my apologies if it seemed like a rub, it 100% was not intended, but most of my views remain the same.

1) Why do something that you don't enjoy for the most part?

2) Perhaps he'd enjoy it more if he stepped back & reflected on a few things, & looked at the game, & those who play it, slightly differently.

For sure, he's a a fine boy, good looking, got everything in life he could ever dream of, but his head sometimes gets in a bit of a mess because of poker. That just makes no sense to me.  

Be it hobby, or his job, he should not do it if it upsets his mental equilibrium. Or maybe he just needs to adjust to how he thinks about the game, & his opponents.

Pretty sure he knew it wasn't a rub  .

It's pretty impossible to do this and not have slight emotional swings as it's just that type of "job". The fact that Alex posts on sessions regularly means sometimes the raw emotion is going to come out straight after a bad day, just like it would if someone had a bad day doing any job really. If he's feeling good today and ready to get back at it then there's no real problem. I don't believe there are many people who enjoy what they do for a living, so as I say, the question for me is do you enjoy it more than if you where doing something else, when the answers no, it's time to stop.

I hope that is not true. If it is, I'm utterly amazed.

I must have run good for 48 years!

I never enjoyed a job I did until a started playing poker for a living. Of all the people I know I think there's only one person who enjoys her job. So yeah, I guess you've ran pretty good. What % of people do you think enjoy there job, I'd say less than 20%.

I feel a poll coming on.

[tikay]

Sick sick rubs from tikay.

Seriously though, don't ask yourself whether you enjoy it, but whether you enjoy it more than having a proper job. If the answers yes then stop being down about it, know how luck you are and grind through the variance. I only say that because that's how I look it at when my confidence is low and things are going bad. I don't know anyone in poker who's confidence hasn't taken a hit when things are going bad no matter how good they are. I believe this is your first proper downswing yeah ? The harshness of it gets easier and dealing with the swings will be a major factor to how long you last doing this as it seems like a few good players on here who grind the pokers think your good enough to do it so that should give you confidence boost you need. If your mood continues to swing so much like that based on results then I'd genuinely suggest doing something else.

?

It's not a hobby for Alex.

Oh, I see.

I had assumed it was a hobby, my apologies if it seemed like a rub, it 100% was not intended, but most of my views remain the same.

1) Why do something that you don't enjoy for the most part?

2) Perhaps he'd enjoy it more if he stepped back & reflected on a few things, & looked at the game, & those who play it, slightly differently.

For sure, he's a a fine boy, good looking, got everything in life he could ever dream of, but his head sometimes gets in a bit of a mess because of poker. That just makes no sense to me. 

Be it hobby, or his job, he should not do it if it upsets his mental equilibrium. Or maybe he just needs to adjust to how he thinks about the game, & his opponents.

Pretty sure he knew it wasn't a rub  .

It's pretty impossible to do this and not have slight emotional swings as it's just that type of "job". The fact that Alex posts on sessions regularly means sometimes the raw emotion is going to come out straight after a bad day, just like it would if someone had a bad day doing any job really. If he's feeling good today and ready to get back at it then there's no real problem. I don't believe there are many people who enjoy what they do for a living, so as I say, the question for me is do you enjoy it more than if you where doing something else, when the answers no, it's time to stop.

I hope that is not true. If it is, I'm utterly amazed.

I must have run good for 48 years!

I never enjoyed a job I did until a started playing poker for a living. Of all the people I know I think there's only one person who enjoys her job. So yeah, I guess you've ran pretty good. What % of people do you think enjoy there job, I'd say less than 20%.

What %?

No idea. But given that we spend the best part of 50% of our life at work (assume 24 hours is split into 8 hours each of sleep, work, recreation, & omitting the sleep part) it seems to me a pre-requisite for a happy life to do a job we enjoy - & if we can't fine one we enjoy, have a shot at trying to enjoy it by being good at it, better than our colleagues, do it well, succeed at it, etc. Or do something different. It does not matter what job we do - doing it better than others, & to the very max of our ability, has to be the buzz, no?

Logically, if we are not enjoying 50% of our life, we need to adjust something. And it may just be our thinking.

[George2Loose]

On another note, is .50/1 beatable with the size of the rake? I know it's quite high.

[mondatoo]

Totally agree with the idea that you spend to much time at work to not enjoy it. I suggested that % as I'd be surprised if more than 1 in 5, honestly enjoyed what they do.

[tikay]

Totally agree with the idea that you spend to much time at work to not enjoy it. I suggested that % as I'd be surprised if more than 1 in 5, honestly enjoyed what they do.

Those two sentences - which may both be perfectly correct, (first one deffo is) don't sit very well together! I suspect this may be all about pma.

[millidonk]

+1 on majority of what Monda says.

My personal view: Never have regrets. Shoot for the stars! Only recently I left a very well paying job where I hated the working environment and the majority of people in the place, so i quit. I comfortably lived off poker winnings for 6 months, but the thought that someone sucking out on me/running bad could put my mortgage payments etc in jeopardy was always hanging over my head,  so i decided to grind it out in a 9-5 (9-6, hour each way commute, sigh) and take shots at the pokes whenever I can. In all honesty I've ever never been happier! financially stress free and its actually reflecting in my game.  Now i take the 10% beats with a smile..ish. Would i like to have continued playing pokes for a living, of course! could i do it without a couple of hundred k behind me? no chance. (Made day 2 of the laddies 750K, could be handing in my resignation tomorrow....)

Didn't a well known Blonde co write a book about the mental aspects of poker?? maybe give that a read! I'll be giving it a go soon.

Just last night a close friend of mine said "Die Poker, I am never playing online again" That was seconds after busting a big tourney, from a horrendous play by a scandie. Sure he feels different this morning.

Go for it. Your rent is paid til end of the year. If your living costs are low and you have the ability. why not!?

Also try not to over evaluate yourself against other players, everyone's circumstances are different.

Not sure I've got my point across and forgotten what else I was gonna say. Anyways GL at the tables.

[cambridgealex]

Was it all worth it? 'Cours it fuckin was

[tikay]

+1 on majority of what Monda says.

My personal view: Never have regrets. Shoot for the stars! Only recently I left a very well paying job where I hated the working environment and the majority of people in the place, so i quit. I comfortably lived off poker winnings for 6 months, but the thought that someone sucking out on me/running bad could put my mortgage payments etc in jeopardy was always hanging over my head,  so i decided to grind it out in a 9-5 (9-6, hour each way commute, sigh) and take shots at the pokes whenever I can. In all honesty I've ever never been happier! financially stress free and its actually reflecting in my game.  Now i take the 10% beats with a smile..ish. Would i like to have continued playing pokes for a living, of course! could i do it without a couple of hundred k behind me? no chance. (Made day 2 of the laddies 750K, could be handing in my resignation tomorrow....)

Didn't a well known Blonde co write a book about the mental aspects of poker?? maybe give that a read! I'll be giving it a go soon.

Just last night a close friend of mine said "Die Poker, I am never playing online again" That was seconds after busting a big tourney, from a horrendous play by a scandie. Sure he feels different this morning.

Go for it. Your rent is paid til end of the year. If your living costs are low and you have the ability. why not!?

Also try not to over evaluate yourself against other players, everyone's circumstances are different.

Not sure I've got my point across and forgotten what else I was gonna say. Anyways GL at the tables.

Superb Post.

[SuuPRlim]

Man Alex if I had a pound coin for everytime I've gone to bed thinking EXACTLY what you wrote in that post id be rolled to play 1mitch/2mitch in the vip room...

I'v had a pretty aggorvating year, been losing for 50k hands online now (see blog below for horror graph if ur interested ) whenever I play higer stakes llive cash i get absolutley bludgeoned, and even yesterday i went to bed hella tilted by PLO ftops.....sometimes I storm away from my PC going "grr fucking poker, I never win kljejhjkhndfjf" then half an hour later after i've watched TV and chilled for a bit, all i wanna do is play some more lol if that's not you then you couldn't do it for a living.

Temperament is so huge cos emotion in decision making pretty much always = bad decisions.

Everyone goes through this, even people who you don't expect will, but one of the harsh reality's of professional poker imo is this particular thing, the frustration when losing, is something you HAVE TO deal with by yourself, because we all go through it and no-one wants to or is willing to play counsel, and gl getting anyone normal to understand or sympathize with this.

Get back on the saddle