china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary

[engy]

Brilliant read

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Fanrillo.

[china mug]

TOP LEVEL DECISION
So here i am in pret st albans its 12.37pm sunday 17th [wow see how its starting to sound like big brother ...i shall have to practise typing in a geordie accent] and the decision is being made to post about small event that i fail in not just the sad git dragging his bones to dtd in nottingham fails ,...so its of to day 2 at luton g with probley the smallest stack 49,400 but hey theres a game at 5.00pm to look to.....decisio should i hit the pound shop and take some chokkies in.....dare i not try to bribe the karma fairy ....and of course slip a couple of packe of kit kat to the staff    sigh if only raj new what shes missing ,she was rather keen on the old chococlate fingers ......

asknotwhatyourcasinocandoforyoubutratherwhatyoucandotogetoutthedoorswithmorethanyouwalkedinwith.

[china mug]

GOD IM GOOD,STOP TESTING ME AND SEND THE GOOD STUFF,PRONTO.
So im into the day two at luton and im grinding like a mother ..not in the sex meaning of the word but in the poker vanacular ...come on you bitches form a ordley que to bitch slap tom and take his antes and blinds...26 players back on day two and im the lowest at 49,400 15 players to get some money first being 7.5k......sort of makes up for the lack of free buffetts ....who remembers the free cakes that you used to get in the old club....yes well may you hang your head in shame uncle fester...
and im grinding away first goal not to be the first player out ...ive told big dave we will give him a mexican wave when hes out before me ..he has 200k plus to my 50k- ,also asked his table who was this guy with the sunglasses was he a poker pro player like you see on tv ,...., or a welder...and we play on players drop ...bugger me i might make the money ...johnson baby wipe [the other dave] loses a load of chips and declares that he hopes i dont make the final table as my felt tip cartoon faces and messages are crap ,i agree and tell him if i do he will feature
now dave is one of the better players and for me to refer to him as ..johnson baby wipe ..is not a insult more of a afectionate referance like look tom has noticed you ...you have arrived on the poker scene ...when your tree falls in a deserted forest you most certainley will make a sound...    ......  on the subject of names i recall a lady who came to the club became a friend with edna and whent on to travel around to poker games at sea side locations with edna teaching the locals what its like to have a blue rinse slow play aces into you ...any way i digress this lady was telling us how she was from or had been to germany and sweden and austria etc etc i took a kindley regard of the old girl and said thats alright we will call you danish,and she or rather we took to it like a duck to water after me calling her at the table danish for half a dozen times it was assumed that was her name...and it stuck with her ...choices ..choices.. danish or johnson baby wipe ,god im the shakspear of names .

made the money ,got to final out in 8th for 700 pounds ...nice ...
whent to dtd nottingham for free roll monday 18/12/17 102 runners 11 prices im out in 15 ....enjoyed it imensley but not the bloody journey missty fog on M1 ...free nibles on trays which got a few visits from me ,a couple of the girls that usualey are running about with hot pants and gold flesh colured tights were serving but as a special they had nice outfits on ...made them look realy classy and raised the event from the base instict ...rest of girls attired as usual...
so tonite luton g 4k gt i think ...to candy or not to candy mmmmmm

youdonthavetobeoflowintellectoryourparentsbeingcousinstoeachothertoreadtheseblogsbutafterreadingthemyoumayfeelthatyouare.

[Longines]

Wish i'd known you were at DTD last night, would have liked to have met the cyprus swimming champ.... I turned up for the regular PLO comp not realising it had been replaced by the freeroll for those who had played 5 tournies in the last month.... I've played 4....ho hum.

Anyway, the SNGs were fun.... 8 handed, £20 each, prizepools were drawn out of a hat and were £80, £150 or £400.... Of course my table drew the £80.... so we played for about an hour and coming 2nd netted me a whole £6 profit, woo.... They were very popular though and the atmosphere was excellent, really fun....

Played cash until kicking out time... when they picked a name at random from all the SNG entrants and the awesomely named Walter Walters picked up the £600 left in the kitty....

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Nothing propinks like propinquity.

[mikeymike]

Walter Walters  - love that name

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Walter Walters  - love that name

No surprise there mikeymike.

[china mug]

PEACE ON EARTH AND GOOD WILL TO ALL MEN , exclusions may apply.
So i got that wrong it was 8k gt at luton g so in i go ,a nice win before xmas will have me waking up with a silly grin in the morning and having that lovely moment when you think why am i happy ...and then you remember o yes i won such and such last night mmmm nice......

And we play the game ....a bit like old sean connery in the film RED OCTOBER when hes telling the crew that yet again we play the game with our old adverseries like our fathers before us and there fathers before them and so on... as i booked in timi let it out that its her last night tonite ...i quickley referenced my brain as to wheather it may be approperate to have a whip around for her with me being loud and may be saying im going to streak or tight rope walk the rail up by the final table if we raise enouth ....but i decided that she was a bit too reserved for that sort of fuss [plus the amount of times i asked her if she wanted a photo of me to send back to her mum for approval and she never took me up on it]  the last whip round we had got me lap dancing and raised 170£ for the leaver ...and thats a lot of kit kats...

Then it struck me the staff on the way in had commented on my birthday being after midnight ....so maybe timi wasnt leaving and its all a pre curser for some lavish mini buffet that the manager of the card room was going to spring on me .....if the staff on the door know of the allineing of planets for sure a well traveled execcative of the tables was up to looking after his regulars.....
and we play on ...i will say that the poker game has given me more of a insight to other cultures and helped me to see all persons as humans and not ..o them and us , so i can see romainians who can be a good goup of lads all grinding away to attain the same as me ...not the stero type you see on the tv programs with all the neg and blame...asians that can have manners far ahead of mine ,would i have mixed with them but for poker ..probley not ...do i respect them more for what i see in there ability ,you bet ....chinese and simalar good players mostley with a sprinkling of nut jobs....
so in effect when they did the famous COKE add in the 1960s with a load of yanks on a plateu all singing about ...id like to teach the world to sing ....they were referring to the luton poker room .......
o i forgot to say a poker buddy treated me to a very nice meal in the restraunt before the game ....nice ....whent into the game and sat down beside lali who said ...who put you in ...which i thought was a bit rude as if i cant pay my own way into the game ....then i realised he ment he thought i had just arrived 30 mins after the game and my chips were in play to get the early bird  .... in the restraunt lali i told him ...o he said ....
and we play on jim the manager will probley bring the cake with candle out in the break i figure....got a nice load of chips ...its gone the break and pass midnight ..still no party popers.....and im out .....
not even close to money .....i walk out and in the bar theres timi and jim plus one of the players that may or may not have dvds for sale having a drink at the bar i swerve over to say bye to timi as clearley they have positioned themselves to suprise me on the way out with a cake with sparklers being lite up in the side when jim gives the signal ....who knows maybe a free voucher from luton g for the boxing day special 18k gt or a slap up meal in the restraunt for two ....maybe both....i wish timi well with her next position she goes to and say nite to all ....god there good   talk about poker faces they carry on as if they are genunely just having a drink at the bar with a popular team member that is leaving ......i get it they probley are waiting for me to be in the lobby where the top manager can suprise me with one of them big bang things of deal or no deal that has loads of shiny paper floating down ,not wishing to ruin all the planning i go along out into the lobby ...nite to the girls ...out into the car park .....bloody hell they are leaving it to the very last minute.....
into car driving out ...o well play flick thru the radio chanells tom ,maybe you will find bowie or amey ......
into luton g thurs got to 10th place for 124 plus last longest.....when leaving had 10 pound at roulete with 5 on 7..11  and 5 on 28...29 split 29 came in smacked it for the repeat with 50 on 29 plus splits the dealer is entering into the spirit of it ...but no not this time ....that makes about 13 times i hane had the 50 on bet with splits ...its the bet after that i want to see as it will be 1000 laid out for a repeat mmmmm one day
o well i have my ticket for the 18,000 gt one day event courtesey of last longest .....one day .......one day....

have a good xmas all what ever that may entail remember its better to give than to take , and should we have some snow and you are walking pass a snow man and you happen to look at him and see he has pound coins as eyes and teath then you will know there is a god full of trust and benevalance with faith in mankind , that or your passing a house where cousins married each other.

theproductioncompanyoftomandassociateswouldlikeyoutoknowthatnoanimalswherehurtinthemakingofthisproduction.....

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Merry Christmas to you and yours Thomas.

[china mug]

NOT THE QUEENS CHRISTMAS MESSAGE TO THE NATION
......................................................................................

Please do not assume that this is the queens message to the nation ,yes i can understand how its confusing that on the same day two addresses to the nation appear both with heart felt meaning and up lifting content but this is not she , plus i dont want any new year gongs or knighthoods to be reconsidered in a adverse way....so that said on with the good shit.

played at luton g on the 23rd no great anything , the parking for when the main park is full  has been re located to matlans with a ferry car lift to the club ..not ideal..so im in and playing some of the lady players are getting louder as if people want to hear there deep well thought out reasoning on how to play variouse hands and on any other life topics that come to mind ...they mostley seem to be divorced...no poker read skills needed to see that one, i do my usual all the dealers hate me when the cards go against me and what a dealer when it gose for me ,i also tell a few interesting life stories until one of the other players accusess me of being too monotone ...i take it to mean boreing ..so i reign it in a bit .......it would seem that the ideal table talk should not include any one talking about life and death events they have seen or been in ,famous persons and stories , good luck stories and any thing that would make you go wow...or jokes....     ................ .............so just bad beat mate , and seat table 9 is acceptable ........the answer is ...........   .............. and the horse you road in on.
i some times look at a card room like its a black and white film waiting to discover talkies and colour all bland and no life ....well its your lucky day i am the MG AND PARAMOUNT AND PANAVISION  and i am going to lift you out of your rut ...it may not be easy it may take some time but little by little the card rooms can come to life and stop being like librarys where every one is just waiting to go ssshhhhhhhh

that said the next worthwhile jobby is the 26th at luton g 18k gt which a straw poll at the felt gave the opinion that all the great and good will be gagging to get away from there kids and wives so i think i shall pop along ,got my first entry in the last longest...eventualy...and make it to the final table it cant be that hard to pass all the usual suspects ...chomp say few words...dave the welder...lucky allan...will talks alot...dave baby wipe...billy the kid...danish....
there may be some thing at dtd to look to also ,so onwards and eventualy upwards i tread because half way up the stairs is the stair where i sit.
this coming year i make some serious money at poker re think the man hours expanded and maybe do some thing else like full time blogging or become a paid comedian.
reachforthestarsthatwaypeoplewillknowyouhavntgotyourhandsonyourcock.

[china mug]

HEAD BANGING AT LUTON G POKER EVENTS , WHY DO IT , POSSIBLY BECAUSE ITS SO NICE WHEN YOU STOP.
SO IM ALONG TO THE LUTON G POKER GAME 18K GT AND WERE OUT AND RUNNING GOT MY ENTRY FROM A LAST PERSON STANDING WIN SO IM IN A SUPERIOR THAN THOU MIND SET TO START WITH ......MEDICO CARDS AND MEDIOCRE PLAY FROM ME EQUALS MY CHIPS IMPERSONATING A ICE CREAM ON A HOT PAVEMENT .....DOWN DOWN AND OUT.... OK RE BUY WITH LPS MEANS 145 OUT OF POCKET BUT HEY LOOK AT THE PRICE MONEY 20K AND CLIMBING ...DOUBLE BONUS THEY HAVE LAID ON A BUFFET PLANNED FOR THE BREAK.....AND IM OUT AGAIN ......THIS ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING  WHAT ABOUT ALL MY LETS EARN SOME DECENT POKER MONEY MENTAL PLEDGES .....SHOULD I BUY IN AGAIN OR NOT ,I GO INTO THE BUFFET WONDERING IF ITS POSSIBLE TO EAT 2 X £145 worth of food ...
foods nice and the staff are all smiles even when for devilment i try to not give my buffet ticket to the girl on ticket duty ....one buffet and three sweets later im of to re enter game ...the shame im starting with 20k onto tables where they have 60k  and more ..ok so some players have less ...but when you venture out into the durasic park of poker its the ruddy great trranasoares rexs you notice not the fluffy little bunny rabbits
and the price money is ..if i remember right £26520 ......a good few bods i know are there dave the welder who a whisper i heard is said to have had 7 trys at this event...gavin as per his game plan of late turned up with about 30 mins of rebuy time left ....i forgot to say in the break some old gir a blonde dragonessl came up to me and started gobbing of about something she thought i would have a opinion the same as hers on , i said nowt and waved my hand in a i see what you mean sort of motion , she looked perplexed and re stated her case i motioned again and threw in a shrug as well , you dont say much do you john she said ....thats because im not john i said and i have no idea what youre talking about ....o she said ...and wondered off
and we are playing poker 23 for the money and i have something to prove to my self sod any one else i have to make the money to prove to my self that im not a mug punter , i am a player who can go far if fate and god and the dealers that all hate me could just stop sticking there legs out to trip me up .....what is it with these things do they not think i have a hard enouth life already , fatter older greyer and with a head of hair that has a mind of its own i dont need anti karma ....and we play on .....
50 players left ....and on we play....23 for the money ...cards come and go as do players ...30 left and as per usual im low on chips , we get to the bubble and the decision cards are issued ...no deal on the table behind me ....and the bubble gose and im in the money , now here is where it gets interesting there are 5 last longests left but only 3 prices being 225...225...and 150...from where im sitting i can see this women who has a lps ....shes one of these im entitled because im cute and wealthy and there fore anything i do or say has value  , who has less chips than me i have say 100k and she has 70k  so with 5k 10k blinds neither of us can hold out for long ......now im getting up and checking chip stacks with casual walk bys and she is scanning in my direction all the time ....news break one of the lps with loads of chips couldnt keep his shirt over it and hes out so now its either me or her for no lps prize.....interestingley enouth im not getting any cards so passing for the other half of my big blind is not a problem as my big blind has loads of chips and will raise every time .....result miss entilted is out  and i get 150 lps minimum ....i look down aq suited mr 1.5 million chips on my right makes it 30k to play i go all in for my 100k pass to mr big chips he looks awkward and i know why...its nowt to do with wheather he calls me or not its the awkwardness of realising that everyone will see the bollocks he has bein raising with ...he calls and shows 10 5 off suit flop 10 jack queen ....   ........    .........     ........   and then im out
all told with silly amount of rebuys and winning lps only 75 profit on the night divded by say 12 hours makes 6 pound a hour not good but a lot better than a loss and i did have a chance of the 7.5k first prize....

and on to the next game 20k gt day ones at luton g wed,thurs,fri,sat, with final sunday........here we go get in line again tom and start banging your head on the wall....
LETS FINISH ON SOMETHING UPLIFTING  i was talking to a couple of players and the subject of the photos i have tacken over the years came up and one of them said its good that you took them as so many people have gone now and we can see what we looked like years ago and its good that some one bothered to keep a record of it all ......so its a bit like asking me if i know any jokes ....note i said jokes not funny jokes....i shall bring the cameras and take one last last photo shoot plus bring in some of the old frames for viewing probly thurs 28th   and sunday when im there for the final anyway ...hope..

A GOOD POKER PLAYER KNOWS HES GOOD AND FEELS NO NEED TO PROVE IT OTHER THAN AT THE TABLE 
A BAD POKER PLAYER THINKS SHES GOOD AND TELLS ALL OTHERS THERE FAILINGS

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Fabulous!

Good luck in the next one.

PS- No need to reply.

[china mug]

PRET POKER AND THE POSSIBILITY OF ACTUALY WINNING
So im in pret coffee shop in st albans surrounded by all sorts of locals and i feel like its time to blog ....bit silly having the lap top with me if i wasnt going to blog,come on its not like its a dog to be tacken for walks and stuff...so last night i whent to luton g [no buffet [   [no suprise there] just saying uncle fester..and the final two tables of the xmas cracker are in full swing ...the most favirate local left in is ...baby wipe ...the blinds are getting so big that soon the average stack is going to be 10 to 15 big blinds then you will hear a gnashing of teath ...i go over and offer baby wipe a 5% saver in my comp for 5% in his he chuckles and i think says he will think about it.....interesting thing about dave is he can always see me coming and knows im going to interject with a little whit that i may think is humerous but others may find distanced from there interlectual level yet every time he makes out hes just suprised that im there as if startled by my apperance and utterances , and yet on the table he misses nowt wheather said or implyied by body language i can only assume if he was in a shoal of herrings on a david attenbourgh wild life film he will never be the one on the outter fringes getting picked of by el flipper ....
so on with my little game i arrived late by choice and im sitting by jonny mac i am in time for the last hand before the break and no more buy ins johhy has just lost a chunk of chips so i know hes in super shove mode .....he shoves for 7200 i go all in for 14975  a blue rinse in seat ten with a mountain of chips wants to call but dihters and dothers  and with a few well placed words from me of save your chips love and you will see my cards any way ...i get told multi way pot by several players and the dealer ...stuff that i think im trying to save my ace two off ...blue rinse passes and says she cant belive she has passed ace king ...i smile inside ...me and jonny are on our backs he has something like king jack to my ace two ......
allways was a lucky fish that jonny if ha was a samon swimming up stream to the swarming grounds he would leep up the rapids when the brown bears are having a kit kat break...
and im down to 7k odd and the buyins are over ....and we play on ....why o why am i always the poor chip relative ....15 for the money ...two tables and im still there ....i shoev my last 40k with ace eight button calls for his 48k  calls with king nine ....................genius......................sheer genius...................hes played for loads of hours to get it in with k9 off.......................im out
i go to watch the final table of the xmas cracker dave..baby wipe is all in for his small stack and called by two big stacks .....hes out ....the last three players launch into a well shall me chop it up debate ...come on guys let him exit the table before you start that conversation....i tell baby wipe well done he sort of grunts and nods almost without making a sound or moving his head ,but i can tell hes touched by my kindness.

well can it get any better.....yes it can ......dan one of the staff catches me and gives me a 105£ last longest ticket as i was secound .as they have gone electronic on the lps i had totally forgotten all about it where had we had a chip in front of us i would have been doing walk bys and all sorts .....
one happy bunny now to the pound shop for some mucho cheepo for the new year game on the 1st   18,000 gt but it will be more.....


IFATREEFALLSINAFORESTANDTHEREISNOONETHEREDOUSEITMAKEASOUNDANDMOREIMPORTANTLEYWHATHAPPENSTOTHENESTOFSQUIRELLSTHATLIVEDINTHETHIRDCROOKFROMTHETOP

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I enjoy your trip reports, I just wish you would acknowledge people's comments.