Laxie Goes Primetime

[RED-DOG]

I always thought agricultural types knew how to work a lawn mower.

But the cover is good for the game.

[Rod Paradise]

I always thought agricultural types knew how to work a lawn mower.

But the cover is good for the game.

 

Advantage -  RED-DOG

[Kev B]

Must admit I had to google. Now I've wiped my tears away I would love to know how you got to know what a merkin was.

[Laxie]

I always thought agricultural types knew how to work a lawn mower.

But the cover is good for the game.

 

Advantage -  RED-DOG

Advantage?!  That's game set and match.  WP Dog.   

[Laxie]

Must admit I had to google. Now I've wiped my tears away I would love to know how you got to know what a merkin was.

Who are you asking?

[Kev B]

Must admit I had to google. Now I've wiped my tears away I would love to know how you got to know what a merkin was.

Who are you asking?

Red Dog Laxie, you being a laydeee and all I expect you had to find out.

[Laxie]

Must admit I had to google. Now I've wiped my tears away I would love to know how you got to know what a merkin was.

Who are you asking?

Red Dog Laxie, you being a laydeee and all I expect you had to find out.

Phew.  Was worried for a sec.  I know how I know, but dunno how he knows.

[RED-DOG]

Must admit I had to google. Now I've wiped my tears away I would love to know how you got to know what a merkin was.

It's a long story, but I once knew a lady of the night who was persuaded, for a small fee, to ignite her natural gas, her 'carbon de backside' if you will.

During the attempt, things got out of control and she singed off her short & curlies. This had a detrimental effect on her income, so she tried to make a loss of earnings claim on her insurance.

The insurance company told her that her policy only covered her business premises. Undeterred, she submitted another claim, saying that she had burned the roof off her workshop.

The insurance company admitted liability, and stumped up the price of a merkin.

I would never have known any of this it it hadn't fallen on to the floor one morning while she was whisking an omelette.

[Laxie]

A lady of the night exposed her merkin while whisking your omelette. 

I've heard it all now.

[Kev B]

A lady of the night exposed her merkin while whisking your omelette.  

I've heard it all now.

You were there for breakfast?

Who persuaded her to ignite the said gases?

Detrimental to her income, I think not. I'm told that a Brazilian is quite favourable. Unless it was when you were very young in the Victorian era.

[RED-DOG]

This is a family thread, I've said too much already.

[Laxie]

This is a family thread, I've said too much already.

Tis ok.  She already knows we're off our rocker around here. 

[Laxie]

Today was lovely.  What did we do?  Sweet feck all only chilling out for ourselves.  Perfect.

[mondatoo]

lol.

Best youtube vid I've ever seen.

Quality.

[Laxie]

Lily is gone.

Tough night in the camp.  She was in a bit of bother with ages, but even tonight she was full of life until the end which made it a bit worse tbh.  She'd the start of a mammary growth threatening with a while, but we'd kept an eye on it and all was well.  I'd posted about it when first discovered, but the vet reckoned it wasn't an issue and not cancerous.  Right before I went to England, she developed a tumour in her mouth, which included the jaw bone.  Mike the vet said whatever about the other growth, she was done with this latest one.  It was a tough call, but we decided to hold on to her another bit as long as she showed no signs of pain, which she hadn't. 

Once I was gone, it was hard for the rest of them to let go of Lily and the inevitable was delayed.  They finally got around to it and the plan was to have her put down before Christmas until the father-in law fell ill.  With all the running and racing to do with Michael, Lily was kind of forgot.  Then I turned up.

The lumps were gone huge and while she was moving about grand, it didn't seem right to me.  I met the man last Sunday who gave her to us long ago and told him my concerns.  Before our meeting was over, we'd the lot sorted.  She was to be buried with the rest of her family this week.

Timothy went to her birthplace earlier today to dig the grave and Mike the vet called over around 9:30 this evening.  It was horrible.  Sarah understandably didn't want to be anywhere near proceedings so I sent her to Bridget's.  When Timothy and the vet brought Lily into the kitchen, she shook like a leaf on a tree...same as she's always done when she's not sure.  Then she turned to me, had a few sniffs to figure out it was me and went mental jumping up for hugs.  She was grand.  She reckoned because I was there, she was safe.  For fuck sake.  Sigh.  I gave her some cuddles and a quick kiss trying my level best not to let off that she was done for before saying to the Lads I couldn't be there while they gave the injection.  One last goodbye and I went to Bridget's to be with Sarah.

Sarah, Bridget and I had a wee toast in her honour as it all went down.  Timothy phoned me once they were on the road for the burial to say it was safe to come back.  Sick to know she's gone but we'd the great pleasure of having her as part of our family so can't complain about that.  Added bonus in that she lasted at least 2 years longer than anyone else in her family and did so without pain.  We must have done something right.  We definitely loved her, if nothing else.

Rest in peace old girl...we'll miss you something cruel.  xx

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