Tough money spot with a friend

[tikay]

I did say no. I'm just feeling a bit shit right now thinking that someone is going hungry when I could easily help them out.

Alex! You gotta man up.

When it comes to money, don't EVER feel sorry for anyone who can afford (or not, as in this case) to play poker.

There are many losing poker players who are just addicted to the game, & will do anything to touch someone for a buy-in. The way to help them is not to give them money to feed their addiction. 

[ManuelsMum]

Maybe he could try Sports Arbitrage, make some money there and pay you back that way

[George2Loose]

I did say no. I'm just feeling a bit shit right now thinking that someone is going hungry when I could easily help them out.

Mate this is where you have to make a judement call imo.

Easy for people to say he's a nipping bar steward etc etc.

How close a friend is he? As Dubai says, is he likely to come through with it? He may be feeling just as awkward about it as you are.

[cambridgealex]

I think he probably will come through with it eventually. He's a decent guy.

[Dubai]

If he can pay the 100, do u think he could and would pay 200 eventually whether it be in 2 lots of 100 etc?

If yes then ship him another ton

[Mitch]

I think he probably will come through with it eventually. He's a decent guy.

Yeah, I think Jakally will pay up, although I think it's clear he has spent the money mainly on food.

[tikay]

I think he probably will come through with it eventually. He's a decent guy.

Well fine, lend him the dough, then!

But this sentence does not sit well with me.....

".....I'm just feeling a bit shit right now thinking that someone is going hungry when I could easily help them out......"

He can afford to play (presumably, losing) poker, but he can't afford to eat? If we are skinto, we can feed oursellf on a tenner a week if we put our mind to it.

[cambridgealex]

Well yes, it's deciding whether THIS time the money really is just for food. He can't afford to play poker anymore and hasn't been. He says he's just been sitting in his house all day with nothing to do...

[Dubai]

If you think he will pay back then even if he wants it to mainline heroin you should prob ship if it's a friend
If you think he defo won't pay back but know for sure it's for essential living costs then u should prob ship if it's a friend

It's when a) he isn't that close a friend and/or b) you think he is lying and should just say need a ton to play with- that you shouldn't ship

[tikay]

Well yes, it's deciding whether THIS time the money really is just for food. He can't afford to play poker anymore and hasn't been. He says he's just been sitting in his house all day with nothing to do...

Can't afford to play poker any more? Sitting in the house all day with nothing to do? That's not what your OP suggested, Alex.......

".....Recently he's been really struggling though, trying really hard to get a roll together, grinding micro stakes online to try and make a bit of dollar......"   

And, in the earlier instance......

"....Anyway, against my better judgement I lent him the money and unfortunately haven't been paid back. I know he played a 20£ comp that weekend and was told he sat with 50 on the cash game one night......"

I guess it depends, as Dubai wisely noted - what sort of friend is he? If he's a proper friend, ship him the money, no questions asked. But your Posts suggest you doubt this. There are many definitions of "friend" these days......

[EvilPie]

If he's starving this guy needs to sign on and get whatever he deserves from the state.

They won't let him go hungry, it doesn't work that way.

He isn't your responsibility so don't feel guilty at all. You've already helped him by lending him £100. Make no mistake, if you lend him money it's for poker/roulette/black jack or something similar. Even if he spends your £100 on food it's only because he's spent a different £100 on gambling.

I've made the mistake of dishing out loans left, right and centre when I've been flush because the money doesn't matter.

Unfortunately one day the money does matter and these people are never in a position to pay you back.

They still manage to go out at weekends and have holidays but for some reason they can't afford to pay me back. Strange eh?

You have an oportunity to learn from other people's mistakes so make the most of it and keep your hard earned money to yourself.

That being said I know you're a nice guy so you'll probably lend it to him anyway. If you do I'd have a serious chat with him and make it clear that he gets £100 more and that's his absolute limit. There will be no more under any circumstances.

If he then comes to you again in the future you know he's just taking the piss so I wouldn't worry about him at all.

[cambridgealex]

That's true tikay. I'm not sure whether he's still playing microstakes or whether he can't even afford to play them anymore. He just says he doesn't have anything to do all day.

I'm not sure what sort of friend he is....I mean, I dont trust him. I enjoy his company and we have a laugh together, he's been very supportive of me through downswings and everything and I know he looks up to me.

[EvilPie]

I'm not sure what sort of friend he is....I mean, I dont trust him. I enjoy his company and we have a laugh together, he's been very supportive of me through downswings and everything and I know he looks up to me.

I've lent money to people who fit this description. It's generally a shit idea.

[Mitch]

I'm not sure what sort of friend he is....I mean, I dont trust him. I enjoy his company and we have a laugh together, he's been very supportive of me through downswings and everything and I know he looks up to me.

He a dwarf?

[GreekStein]

'The best thing that can come from lending money, is being paid back'.

That said, there's a lot of people I have/do/would lend money to but wouldn't lend to anyone that I'd ever question paying me. Been there done that. In fact, I'm owed money from years ago by a few Notts Gala regs who are amongst the most degen people of any casino I've ever been to.

Just tell this guy no because it becomes hard to draw a line after that