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Author Topic: Blondes - build me a reply worthy of 27bslash6 please...  (Read 6208 times)
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« Reply #15 on: December 09, 2011, 11:44:15 PM »

Do them a painting of your car and give them that to settle the debts.

This I like. Something along the lines of the tractor in the video for that song about the kid who was 5 and his dad had a JCB.
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« Reply #16 on: December 09, 2011, 11:50:44 PM »

Do them a painting of your car and give them that to settle the debts.

This I like. Something along the lines of the tractor in the video for that song about the kid who was 5 and his dad had a JCB.

Nislopi.
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« Reply #17 on: December 09, 2011, 11:58:03 PM »

Do them a painting of your car and give them that to settle the debts.

This I like. Something along the lines of the tractor in the video for that song about the kid who was 5 and his dad had a JCB.

Nislopi.

TY that was already annoying me tryin to remember it.


Andrew, I'm kidding about not caring, although obviously I didn't care too much I guess or I would have stopped getting them.I think it's the eternal optimist in me that was always convinced I would only be one minute and no one would mind Sad
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« Reply #18 on: December 10, 2011, 12:07:56 AM »

Caroline, I was being mildly facetious anyway - as a non-driver I don't care where you put your car. I'm just aware that for every smartarse who sends letters like yer man there, at the other end there's a poorly paid council worker who thinks they're a cock.

If I drove (and had the money) I would happily park wherever I liked, and pay each fine promptly and with elan, adding in a little tip for whoever dealt with such matters.
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ManuelsMum
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« Reply #19 on: December 10, 2011, 12:23:11 AM »

Dear Linda

Please find enclosed a cheque for payment of my fines, correctly imposed upon me because, to my chagrin, I now realise that I am not immune to the parking regulations which apply to everyone in the country.

Your sincerely

Caroline Cougar

I never thought I was immune and feel that a £35 fine each time for obstructing traffic and causing lack of visibility, blocking people's driveways, parking on fire station's forecourts, horizontally sliding onto zebra crossings, parking in disabled bays, and overstaying in short stay bays for 3 days are all perfectly fair. I'm not above the law.

I just didn't particularly care.

Love this lol

Can't you just send them the money? I mean, like, a photocopy of it, as a "taster"?
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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
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« Reply #20 on: December 10, 2011, 12:39:01 AM »

Dear Linda

Please find enclosed a cheque for payment of my fines, correctly imposed upon me because, to my chagrin, I now realise that I am not immune to the parking regulations which apply to everyone in the country.

Your sincerely

Caroline Cougar

I never thought I was immune and feel that a £35 fine each time for obstructing traffic and causing lack of visibility, blocking people's driveways, parking on fire station's forecourts, horizontally sliding onto zebra crossings, parking in disabled bays, and overstaying in short stay bays for 3 days are all perfectly fair. I'm not above the law.

I just didn't particularly care.

Love this lol

Can't you just send them the money? I mean, like, a photocopy of it, as a "taster"?


Have you got £700 I could photocopy?
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« Reply #21 on: December 10, 2011, 12:51:10 AM »

Dear Linda

Please find enclosed a cheque for payment of my fines, correctly imposed upon me because, to my chagrin, I now realise that I am not immune to the parking regulations which apply to everyone in the country.

Your sincerely

Caroline Cougar

I never thought I was immune and feel that a £35 fine each time for obstructing traffic and causing lack of visibility, blocking people's driveways, parking on fire station's forecourts, horizontally sliding onto zebra crossings, parking in disabled bays, and overstaying in short stay bays for 3 days are all perfectly fair. I'm not above the law.

I just didn't particularly care.
wow you took a poor cripples parking spot which has happened to me on numerous occasions several times meaning I was unable to do something I wish I could of done, so happy you don't care as long as your ok and saved yourself a few precious moments
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« Reply #22 on: December 10, 2011, 12:51:18 AM »

Dear Linda

Please find enclosed a cheque for payment of my fines, correctly imposed upon me because, to my chagrin, I now realise that I am not immune to the parking regulations which apply to everyone in the country.

Your sincerely

Caroline Cougar

I never thought I was immune and feel that a £35 fine each time for obstructing traffic and causing lack of visibility, blocking people's driveways, parking on fire station's forecourts, horizontally sliding onto zebra crossings, parking in disabled bays, and overstaying in short stay bays for 3 days are all perfectly fair. I'm not above the law.

I just didn't particularly care.

Love this lol

Can't you just send them the money? I mean, like, a photocopy of it, as a "taster"?


Have you got £700 I could photocopy?
I do, they're scottish notes if that's ok.
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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
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« Reply #23 on: December 10, 2011, 01:05:07 AM »

You know that if you'd paid these when you first got them you'd have only had to pay £245. So silly.

From what I understand (although I've never tested it) there's a very small chance of actually getting done for parking offences. It's just a money making scheme because people tend to just cough up. I don't know the facts on this by the way it's something I've been lead to believe.

The reason they haven't taken you to court is probably because they know they can't prove anything and so wouldn't be able to win.

Unfortunately your letter suggests that you've already paid some of the installments which means you've admitted guilt. This makes their life much easier and if they pursue it and take you to court you're screwed.

You can draw it out a bit for comedy value but I'd suggest being a bit cautious. I certainly wouldn't send photo copied money as that's a breach of copyright law. Even if you put a picture of yourself on there so it's an obvious fake it's still against the law. If Linda fancies joining in the game of silly buggers she could send it off and you'd get done. The Bank of England won't get the hilarity of the whole thing and you'll get told off for being naughty.

If you don't want to pay anything your best bet is to completely ignore the letter. Sending back smart arsed replies when you're actually in the wrong is a sure fire way to get someone's back up and you might not want to get Linda's back up.

If your intention is to actually pay it at some point then you might as well have a bit of fun in the meantime as it isn't going to cost you anything. Just be a bit careful how you go about it.

Lecture over. Have fun Smiley
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« Reply #24 on: December 10, 2011, 02:07:18 AM »

You know that if you'd paid these when you first got them you'd have only had to pay £245. So silly.

From what I understand (although I've never tested it) there's a very small chance of actually getting done for parking offences. It's just a money making scheme because people tend to just cough up. I don't know the facts on this by the way it's something I've been lead to believe.

The reason they haven't taken you to court is probably because they know they can't prove anything and so wouldn't be able to win.

Unfortunately your letter suggests that you've already paid some of the installments which means you've admitted guilt. This makes their life much easier and if they pursue it and take you to court you're screwed.

You can draw it out a bit for comedy value but I'd suggest being a bit cautious. I certainly wouldn't send photo copied money as that's a breach of copyright law. Even if you put a picture of yourself on there so it's an obvious fake it's still against the law. If Linda fancies joining in the game of silly buggers she could send it off and you'd get done. The Bank of England won't get the hilarity of the whole thing and you'll get told off for being naughty.

If you don't want to pay anything your best bet is to completely ignore the letter. Sending back smart arsed replies when you're actually in the wrong is a sure fire way to get someone's back up and you might not want to get Linda's back up.

If your intention is to actually pay it at some point then you might as well have a bit of fun in the meantime as it isn't going to cost you anything. Just be a bit careful how you go about it.

Lecture over. Have fun Smiley

I love you Matt
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« Reply #25 on: December 10, 2011, 08:34:48 AM »

The police and councils have a legal right to enforce parking fines, but since a change (or clarification) in the law private companies cannot enforce parking penalties or clamp cars.

So if you get a letter from a private company asking for a parking fine, I think it's safe to ignore it and certainly don't reply.

(I am not a lawyer and this doesn't constitute legal advice)
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« Reply #26 on: December 10, 2011, 08:49:22 AM »

The police and councils have a legal right to enforce parking fines, but since a change (or clarification) in the law private companies cannot enforce parking penalties or clamp cars.

So if you get a letter from a private company asking for a parking fine, I think it's safe to ignore it and certainly don't reply.

(I am not a lawyer and this doesn't constitute legal advice)

I'm not a lawyer either but Kin is right. Private parking companies are a joke and you should not pay them.
unfortunately council/police parking fines are enforceable.
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« Reply #27 on: December 10, 2011, 08:57:21 AM »

Let them take you to court. You will be served particulars and they will put their claim in for X amount. The particulars will also say that you have not paid anything since Y date. What you have to do is make a nominal payment between being served the particulars and you day in court and keep the receipt.

When I'm front of the judge you explain that you are disputing the figure and produce this receipt to show them their
 figure is wrong. Best case senario is their solicitor is professionally embarrassed and judge dismisses the case there n then.

If the judge is a stickler he will have to get the council to amend their particulars to which you must be given the chance to amend your defense. In my experience this either does not get done or the prosecution don't even turn up to the second hearing.

You could also make them an offer ( without prejudice  and never admit anything ) to settle the account as you are intending on emigrating and want to end this nasty business once and for all.  
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« Reply #28 on: December 10, 2011, 10:50:35 AM »

Private firm penalties can be ignored with no comeback.

Council parking fines a whole different ballgame.

They don't take you to court. They simply send the fine through the post if you don't pay within a specified time period. Then they send it again, then they send bailiffs round. Pretty straight forward.

Cause these are so old now I'm not sure they can be dealt with this way, plus the fact they overlooked them and didn't contact me for 15 months probably changes things a little.

Trust me, I can write a book on parking fines, and speeding tickets.

Luckily I've grown up now... so - any thoughts on what to write in this reply?
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« Reply #29 on: December 10, 2011, 11:02:49 AM »

Had a million bailiff letters, never seen a bailliff so can't comment
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