Br-Unskilled labour, an everyday story of Sheffield business folk"I woke up this morning with a busy to-do list
a) Sell my start up business in the field of cryo-technologies. Have been negotiatiing with Bill Gates for ages and I left him in the Sheffiled Hallam travelodge last night considering a counter offer for my 0.6% stake in the business.
b) Return four shirts with holes in them to Meadowhall. I have no receipts but diarised their purchases in my ring binder. Although the purchases date back to 2004 and I have had no luck with the manufacturer, I feel sure the shop will agree I have a case"
c) Go to Corals near Hillsborough and punt £50 on electronic roulette before backing the four favourites each way in the National, making sure the cashier rings up her Head Office first before they accept my bets
d) Purchase new Marc Antonio Number 7 Sheffield Wednesday shirt (note to self, check for holes at time of purchase) at club shop
e) Buy a ferrari
f) form, float and then sell another business by tea-time
All this made me rather late for DTD, I must admit
I arrived at Level 4 and soon chipped up rapidly. Despite my disgust that less reputable players than myself could consider selling shares in any tournament at 1.5 or above, and frankly surprised to see such mistakes in written form in the past week, I consider myself great value and played with the confidence of a young Sir Alan Sugar in his boardroom, or a dashingly handsome Dragon in his den
I soon had 100,000 chips and at the break for tbhe Grand National went outside to silently check this latest t-shirt for holes. All good so far, but then again I only bought it 6 years ago
With blinds of 300-600 75 I sat down after the break as table chip leader
Justin Devonport raised to 1,225
I call, with aplomb. I consider that a player charging a mark-up of 1.5 would not have made this correct play. I did though, for I am mighty, always right and everyone knows it
The button calls and Steve Holden calls in the big blind
flop
It is checked to me
Green light says GO GO GO (I learnt that from Gordon Ramsay on one of his cooking programmes where he was chastising those in his kitchen. Legend)
I bet 3,500
The button calls
turn
I check. After all I have nothing
The button bets 6,000
I pass, lulling him into a false sense of security. I will call him out later for not stacking his chips neatly and having an unironed crease in his jeans. Sloppy
In the next hand, I have to post another 75 ante. 75 antes should not be allowed as they unbalance my stack and make it look uneven. I intend to make a forum post about it, whilst reminding players that they should not make the mistake of ever asking for 1.5 in a comp.
I raise and am called by the same player as before
I won't be offering him a job soon, I can tell you
I check call
I check call 3,200
I check, trappily. But my opponent would not know this for I am clever
He bets 7,200
A-ha! I check raise to 27,400
He passes
Another notch on my burgeoning young entrpreneur of the year belt
In the very next hand, seat 9 opens to 2,000
2,000 is a good raise size as its even and symmetrical. I like this player
I call, as a result, so do two other players
It is checked to me
I bet 2,300 and they all fold
I now have over 125,000 and am a top five stack
When I win the £30,000 first prize I am going to invest it in a proper clothes manufacturing facility for Sheffield, which I will run with a rod of iron, and unimpeachable quality assurance processes.