Ask me anything about coming out as bisexual

[wazz]

You will always see or hear of singular instances of bigotry but in general I would say the vast majority out there (in the UK) don't remotely care whatever sexuality someone is. Get a poll up.

I'd agree that the vast majority of people don't care, but that's not the issue. The issue is that you don't know who will care and who won't, Ultimately anyone caring about it enough to give you abuse can be very difficult to deal with, and not knowing whether someone you care about as a friend will disown you is very scary.

[wazz]

Is there a clear difference between your attraction to men then there is to women? Usually men are more attracted to looks and women are more attracted to power confidence then looks.

Is there an aspect of social attraction when it comes to certain men and women?

You've also said that recently you've felt more of a romantic connection towards women rather then men, which reminds me of Freuds theory on Innate bisexuality, all humans are born bisexual but turn monosexual with their bisexuality being present but inactive. Would you say there's some truth in this theory?

Do you feel less dissonance with your sexuality now then when you were younger? And has societies tolerance made this easier?  

What kind of porn do you watch? (Serious question)

Android or Iphone? Windows or Mac?

Yes there is a difference - I'm more superficial when it comes to my attraction in women. I can ignore bad personality traits and my lust for women is based on looks alone, where with men I am more likely to ignore good looks in favour of good personalities, but that's certainly not an absolute - I'll be turned off by a hot girl that's a horrendous person and it's very difficult for me to be attracted to an ugly guy, just that average guys are more attractive to me if they're golden people, while very few average girls are attractive to me even if they're a bright star.

I've seen that explained from an evolutionary standpoint - in general, the range of different looks on women that are considered attractive is narrower than that of men, because males are the aggressive sex in finding a mate, and females can be more selective, they choose men on the basis of personality traits rather than looks. Not quite sure if I'm explaining that well.

I have no idea how to rate Freuds' views in this regard; I'm more au fait with the Kinsey Scale which is itself massively outdated I believe. A friend (bisexual, surprisingly) believes that everyone's bisexual if you get enough booze and/or drugs into their system.

I've never really felt dissonance at all; the only source would be that for the longest time I felt bad about not being more public about it. Coming out has made me feel like a better person, but that's only indirectly connected to my sexuality. I've seen society get more relaxed over my own lifetime, which makes me happy, but the fight is not over - I certainly feel a degree of responsibility to helping others come out.

About 95% of the porn I watch is lesbian, 2% gay, 2% miscellaneous, 1% straight.

Iphone, but windows.

[outragous76]

You are on a night out, there is miss amazing is 1 corner, and mr amazing in another. Both giving you the eye, and you are an absolute lock to pull

What is the deciding factor in your head as to which way you go on a given night?

[DaveShoelace]

You are on a night out, there is miss amazing is 1 corner, and mr amazing in another. Both giving you the eye, and you are an absolute lock to pull

What is the deciding factor in your head as to which way you go on a given night?

Option C is surely the best one of beckoning them both over to you at the same time?

[The Camel]

Are you attracted to men and women in different ways?

For example with men it might be looks which first attract you while with women it might be personality.

Or is it the same with both sexes?

[The Camel]

Do you find that poker is more homophobic as an industry/community than most? Jason Somerville is the only openly gay male player I know of, which seems incredibly disproportionate. 

I think football might run it close

It was football that I had in mind when I asked the question. Both seem to be a bit of a 'boys club' (and the top end of both are full of brilliantly talented young men with too much money and not an ounce of common sense between them).

I just don't think anyone cares Barry, its 2013.

So there is no homophobia any more?

I mean poker world specifically.

Ben Grundy, Robin Keston and Simon Eastwood?

[DaveShoelace]

Are you attracted to men and women in different ways?

For example with men it might be looks which first attract you while with women it might be personality.

Or is it the same with both sexes?

Yes there is a difference - I'm more superficial when it comes to my attraction in women. I can ignore bad personality traits and my lust for women is based on looks alone, where with men I am more likely to ignore good looks in favour of good personalities, but that's certainly not an absolute - I'll be turned off by a hot girl that's a horrendous person and it's very difficult for me to be attracted to an ugly guy, just that average guys are more attractive to me if they're golden people, while very few average girls are attractive to me even if they're a bright star.

[The Camel]

Are you attracted to men and women in different ways?

For example with men it might be looks which first attract you while with women it might be personality.

Or is it the same with both sexes?

Yes there is a difference - I'm more superficial when it comes to my attraction in women. I can ignore bad personality traits and my lust for women is based on looks alone, where with men I am more likely to ignore good looks in favour of good personalities, but that's certainly not an absolute - I'll be turned off by a hot girl that's a horrendous person and it's very difficult for me to be attracted to an ugly guy, just that average guys are more attractive to me if they're golden people, while very few average girls are attractive to me even if they're a bright star.

Missed that one. Sorry.

[DaveShoelace]

Do you find that poker is more homophobic as an industry/community than most? Jason Somerville is the only openly gay male player I know of, which seems incredibly disproportionate. 

I think football might run it close

It was football that I had in mind when I asked the question. Both seem to be a bit of a 'boys club' (and the top end of both are full of brilliantly talented young men with too much money and not an ounce of common sense between them).

I just don't think anyone cares Barry, its 2013.

So there is no homophobia any more?

I mean poker world specifically.

Ben Grundy, Robin Keston and Simon Eastwood?

Really? I feel a twonk for not knowing that already, especially because I actually know two of the three.

[wazz]

You are on a night out, there is miss amazing is 1 corner, and mr amazing in another. Both giving you the eye, and you are an absolute lock to pull

What is the deciding factor in your head as to which way you go on a given night?

Not close, I prefer girls sexually as well as romantically. Factors that influence my decision would include who I'm out with - if I'm out with straight guys I'll always go for the girl, if I'm out with girls and/or gay guys I'll probably go for the guy. That's all factors regarding the overall attractiveness of each being equal, ofc, I will often decide not go go for a girl because she appears massively slaggy or chavvy.

[wazz]

Option C is surely the best one of beckoning them both over to you at the same time?

That takes work and skill. I would relish the challenge.

[The Camel]

Do you find that poker is more homophobic as an industry/community than most? Jason Somerville is the only openly gay male player I know of, which seems incredibly disproportionate. 

I think football might run it close

It was football that I had in mind when I asked the question. Both seem to be a bit of a 'boys club' (and the top end of both are full of brilliantly talented young men with too much money and not an ounce of common sense between them).

I just don't think anyone cares Barry, its 2013.

So there is no homophobia any more?

I mean poker world specifically.

Ben Grundy, Robin Keston and Simon Eastwood?

Really? I feel a twonk for not knowing that already, especially because I actually know two of the three.

Pretty sure Ben is married to his partner.

[DaveShoelace]

I will often decide not go go for a girl because she appears massively slaggy or chavvy.

Back when I was a single man, this was the complete opposite of my selection criteria

[DaveShoelace]

We should have more AMAs btw, some of the most interesting people I've ever met have come from this forum.

[millidonk]

I will often decide not go go for a girl because she appears massively slaggy or chavvy.

Back when I was a single man, this was the complete opposite of my selection criteria

+1