Ask me anything about coming out as bisexual

[DaveShoelace]

I also think Aaron makes a good point, just a bit too Aarony as Tal says.

The reason why I think its a good point is simply that poker is a really small world, and you are quite well known within it. All it takes is for you to have a big result and they could find out because of that. For example you make a WSOP final table, your mum tells your auntie maureen, she googles your name and finds this thread.

I travelled all the way to the other side of the world a few years ago to Brisbane and the first Brit I met out there, upon hearing I play poker, asked me if I knew Barry Neville of all people.

[wazz]

Fittest male and female character from Lost?

Never really fancied any of the guys, Kate was my favourite girl, obviously.

Any particular reason why you've not told your parents. As a parent myself is be pretty sad and disappointed if any of my children felt they could tell the world but not me. Would they not take it well?

I'm much more uncomfortable than your average person when it comes to discussing anything sexual with my parents. It's not their fault and I do genuinely feel bad about the fact that I'm not willing to tell them but it's also something I'm not obligated to do, and tbh I'm not sure they'd be that interested anyway. My dad just wouldn't understand - he's old-school and doesn't display his emotions or talk about things like this anyway, and my mum wouldn't really care, but it's just a step I've never felt the need to take, whereas I have often felt the need to come out to those around me, even if it doesn't play a big part in determining who I am.

Think it's a bit disrespectful to your parents that you would tell the world and the next stranger of your sexuality, but not your parents. It would be pretty crappy if they found out of someone else.

It's pretty crappy for you to tell someone else what to do regarding who they should come out to. Cool if you're a parent and all but it's not your business. You don't know me or my relationship with my parents.

I wasn't telling you what to do, I was just informing you how disrespectful it actually is and it's completely your choice what you do. However, you have not just decided to tell your friends, but actually the whole world by posting on here. I think your parents may be gutted to know that they was the very last people to find out and in actual fact strangers knew first. Yes, I can appreciate the fact I know nothing about your parents, but what I've gathered from this is that you should tell them, IMO.

I know lots of people who 'came out' to close friends before parents, but to complete strangers on the Internet before parents? Sighs.

I really do admire the fact you've posted on here about this, in fact I think it's great to see, but was very disappointed to see about the parents situation.

I don't mind telling strangers, but I don't have the sort of relationship with my parents where I feel comfortable talking about any aspect of my sexual life. Do I wish I did? Er, no. Do I wish I did to the extent that I could come out to them? Vaguely. If I was gay, it would be much more of an issue, as I would be hiding a major part of my life, and I almost certainly would have come out by now. But I don't have sex with dudes often, am not camp, and it does not determine my lifestyle in any significant way, and I quite simply do not feel the need to come out to them.

Again, without knowing the specifics of my relationship with my parents, I'd like you to respect my choice and leave it at that.

To be fair to Aaron, wazz, he's by no means the first person to make that point ITT.

Part of me thinks it's none of our business why you have chosen not to tell your parents but to announce it to the internet. But another part of me doesn't blame anyone ITT for asking you why.

It's obviously an emotive issue - not just the reasons for the revelation but the overall issue of sexuality - so it is pretty difficult to know how to approach 'asking you anything'.

Opening the door as widely as you have in posting on here does mean occasionally getting a question or a viewpoint you don't like. It is a valid one and not one unique to Aaron on this occasion, however inappropriate you consider it to be.

I can appreciate all that. But this thread isn't meant for people to ask me to do anything or criticise my choices. I've given a brief explanation of why I don't want to come out to my parents.

If someone were to out me to my parents, well, that would suck, but suck less hard than me coming out to them.

[wazz]

I gotta say I'm pretty broad minded and I'm not easily shocked by this sort of stuff. However when my mate opened up about the sort of stuff he gets up to sometimes I was pretty aghast at the promiscuity within some the gay scene, and apps like scruff and grinder to hook up  

I think most single straight blokes would give their right arm to find it that easy to hook up for a casual meet with a bird  

Yeah the gay sex world can be extremely seedy, but given how horny straight guys are, it shouldn't be a surprise!

[MANTIS01]

I don't really get the whole purpose of a bi-sexual 'coming out' as it goes, to strangers or parents. Think op said he was in a longterm relationship with a girl, so what, you approach your parents and say you know I've been with Debbie for 3 years? Well just to let you know, I still fancy Bill sometimes. If you got serious about a guy it would be time to talk but until then discussing sexual preferences with your parents is wtf imo. What if your mum starts telling you her sexual fantasies? Er no thanks.

Have always thought the sexual orientation question on employment applications is plain weird aswell.

[wazz]

I don't really get the whole purpose of a bi-sexual 'coming out' as it goes, to strangers or parents. Think op said he was in a longterm relationship with a girl, so what, you approach your parents and say you know I've been with Debbie for 3 years? Well just to let you know, I still fancy Bill sometimes. If you got serious about a guy it would be time to talk but until then discussing sexual preferences with your parents is wtf imo. What if your mum starts telling you her sexual fantasies? Er no thanks.

Have always thought the sexual orientation question on employment applications is plain weird aswell.

Yeah this seems to be along the right lines. Your sexual orientation is your own business and no-one else has the right to know, but you should have the right to tell whomsoever you want.

[sovietsong]

Standard nandos order?

[The Camel]

I don't really get the whole purpose of a bi-sexual 'coming out' as it goes, to strangers or parents. Think op said he was in a longterm relationship with a girl, so what, you approach your parents and say you know I've been with Debbie for 3 years? Well just to let you know, I still fancy Bill sometimes. If you got serious about a guy it would be time to talk but until then discussing sexual preferences with your parents is wtf imo. What if your mum starts telling you her sexual fantasies? Er no thanks.

Have always thought the sexual orientation question on employment applications is plain weird aswell.

Not having applied for many jobs, is it really ask on employment application forms? That is amazing.

[wazz]

Standard nandos order?

I don't really eat nandos but when I do it's usually a hot half and rice with coleslaw.

[Woodsey]

I don't really get the whole purpose of a bi-sexual 'coming out' as it goes, to strangers or parents. Think op said he was in a longterm relationship with a girl, so what, you approach your parents and say you know I've been with Debbie for 3 years? Well just to let you know, I still fancy Bill sometimes. If you got serious about a guy it would be time to talk but until then discussing sexual preferences with your parents is wtf imo. What if your mum starts telling you her sexual fantasies? Er no thanks.

Have always thought the sexual orientation question on employment applications is plain weird aswell.

Not having applied for many jobs, is it really ask on employment application forms? That is amazing.

That's gotta be a wind up, never seen that.

[wazz]

I don't think I've ever seen it but I've heard about it during job interviews

[Dubai]

No way would it be classed as sackable offence if you lied about it.

Nothing surprises me- on a McDonalds application there was multiple choice questions where you answer strongly agree, partially agree, unsure, partially disagree, strongly disagree. Some of the statements/questions were along the lines

It is wrong to take stuff from work home
I dislike working with people with different skin colour to me

[Tal]

I don't really get the whole purpose of a bi-sexual 'coming out' as it goes, to strangers or parents. Think op said he was in a longterm relationship with a girl, so what, you approach your parents and say you know I've been with Debbie for 3 years? Well just to let you know, I still fancy Bill sometimes. If you got serious about a guy it would be time to talk but until then discussing sexual preferences with your parents is wtf imo. What if your mum starts telling you her sexual fantasies? Er no thanks.

Have always thought the sexual orientation question on employment applications is plain weird aswell.

Not having applied for many jobs, is it really ask on employment application forms? That is amazing.

That's gotta be a wind up, never seen that.

That is always separate from the actual application. The people who mark the application will never see it. It cannot be used as a reason to dismiss/reject an application.

The idea for collecting that data (and ethnicity, gender, age and so on) is so that the employer can guage whether it is advertising the role fairly and making positions viable/suitable to people of all types.

It is common practice now.

[MANTIS01]

There is an option which reads "prefer not to say" if you would rather keep your sexual habits private. However, this will make you sound like a sexual deviant with secrets to hide.

[Woodsey]

There is an option which reads "prefer not to say" if you would rather keep your sexual habits private. However, this will make you sound like a sexual deviant with secrets to hide.

lol wtf? I'm ticking 'gtfo its none of your business' every time. 

[Tal]

There is an option which reads "prefer not to say" if you would rather keep your sexual habits private. However, this will make you sound like a sexual deviant with secrets to hide.

lol wtf? I'm ticking 'gtfo its none of your business' every time. 

That's fine.