Poker Media Mid Life Crisis

[DaveShoelace]

I love being in my 30s. In my 20s I dreaded it, I dreaded being a grown up. Once I got over the line, I love it.

I wonder/worry that I am becoming a boring person. Don't get me wrong, I am quite a whimsical silly fella who shows off when he has had a drink, always trying to make people laugh. I think I am a fun person to be around. But in recent years, I find myself getting excited about very boring things.

For example, I am currently overpaying on my mortgage by £70 a month. Based on current rates, in theory that could shave four years off my mortgage. That's about as boring as it gets, and its the sort of thing that really excites me these days.

Me and the missus are discussing a new car at the end of the year. One of her suggestions is really fuel efficient - that also excites me.

Right now I am reading a book about the school system in Finland.

One thing I have realised in life is that I define 'manhood', 'manning up' etc as paying the bills and taking care of responsibilities. So I guess it comes from that. I actually think I might get an endorphin rush from paying a gas bill or switching energy supplier.

WTF has happened to me? I used to go clubbing in Ibiza.

[RED-DOG]

Hey Shughie, you're fast becoming my fav poster.

[DaveShoelace]

I cannot tell you how many times I have recently typed something out to either debate with someone, or just to bate them, but thought about it again and deleted it. Not just on forums, emails, twitter etc.

One skill I think I have in abundance is being diplomatic and being able to bite my lip, though I must say I am finding it harder these days. One thing I have learned over the years from the internet is that you cannot change anyone's mind in a debate. It is a tremendous suck on one's attention and energy to even bother, so I try and avoid it.

The infamous Hitler thread is a good example. I ended up not being able to help myself and posted a bate-y comment after nearly two days of resisting the urge.

I don't mean that I back down from defending myself, far from it, I have got much better at that in recent years - I actually had I big, but respectful, argument today with a colleague (I know it's probably immature to say, but I think I won). But online debates when they are empassioned are usually pointless. Forums are a good example, comments on articles are another.

At PokerStrategy we have to deal with a lot of trolling. It is an inevitable part of the course for a company that has six million+ members. That and having my name on the cover of two books (albeit in smaller letters) has really given me a sense of perspective. I used to be one of those guys who would write something, get nine positive comments and one negative, and I would fixate on the one negative comment for ages. Now through a process of trial and error, I realise these people usually are in the vocal minority.

I've also learned the value of letting some of these people think they've won. There is something very fragile about the human psyche about wanting other people to think we are right, even though they never will. The chap on that Hitler thread was never going to have his mind changed on the subject, in fact it seems to me he was essentially just waiting for someone to say something liberal so he could spout off on whatever agenda he has burning up inside. The most productive thing we could all do on that thread is to just ignore him and let it move off the front page, but we are human and its not so easy. I will say, however, that having dealt with a lot of trolls in the last couple of years, ignoring them genuinely does work (eventually). They are always looking for a reaction.

Deffo my hero in this realm has to be Tikay. I've never known a more easy going and diplomatic fella find himself stuck in the middle of more anger fuelled debates than he has, yet he always manages to stay calm and bite his lip. When the day comes that he decides to go Michael Douglas in Falling Down on the poker community, I'll be there cheering him on holding a banner with his name on it.

Not sure where I am going with this but it's something I've always found really interesting. How people act online and such.

[DaveShoelace]

oops made a 2nd post by accident

[tikay]

An incredibly insightful Post, Barry.

Not sure I stay calm on the inside, but externally, yes, it's important (to me) to appear calm.

I managed to bite my tongue for 2 days, too, but then something happened this morning (which is not on the thread) that meant I failed to continue with my line, & I stupidly Posted. It was just a quarter of a line, 5 or 6 words, but straight away, I'd managed to make another enemy, who had a little dig. No big deal, he's in a big queue, but I wish I had not commented now of course. We had crossed swords previously, as it happened, on the "Online Poker is Rigged" thread.

Human beings are like racehorses, you can only run them so many times, go to the well x times. Eventually, there is nothing left in the tank. My aggro appetite, never very strong, has gone completely, & I'm just trying to approach the buffers nice & smoothly, no bumps or jolts.

Out of the thread, of course, all sorts came up, including some very rude & hurtful things by people I've been acquainted with, friends with in some cases, for many years. blonde is, in their view, a dreadful place, likened in some ways to North Korea. They don't mind using it, of course. It's free, 'innit?

I shall of course regret posting this, nothing is more certain.

I'm off to find peace this evening, on the PLO8 Tables. I play for micro stakes, SNG's, £5 & £11 a time, & I'll play 20 or 30 tonight, blissfully happy in my own little world. I used to play too big - we all did, I think? - but for the next 3 or 4 hours, I'll be at peace in my own little world, dreaming of the WSOP PLO8 Tourneys. Just me, all on my own, pitting my wits with like-minded people. Weird, after all these years, I've never enjoyed poker more.

[tikay]

Ha!

I finish that Post, only to find that Mr Sausage has asked for the thread to be deleted, & for us to close his account.

More aggro for nothing, more wasted time. With age comes a definite loathing of time spent on negative stuff. Apparently, we don't get those days credited by Him upstairs.

See you at UKPC, fingers crossed.

[Doobs]

An incredibly insightful Post, Barry.

Not sure I stay calm on the inside, but externally, yes, it's important (to me) to appear calm.

I managed to bite my tongue for 2 days, too, but then something happened this morning (which is not on the thread) that meant I failed to continue with my line, & I stupidly Posted. It was just a quarter of a line, 5 or 6 words, but straight away, I'd managed to make another enemy, who had a little dig. No big deal, he's in a big queue, but I wish I had not commented now of course. We had crossed swords previously, as it happened, on the "Online Poker is Rigged" thread.

Human beings are like racehorses, you can only run them so many times, go to the well x times. Eventually, there is nothing left in the tank. My aggro appetite, never very strong, has gone completely, & I'm just trying to approach the buffers nice & smoothly, no bumps or jolts.

Out of the thread, of course, all sorts came up, including some very rude & hurtful things by people I've been acquainted with, friends with in some cases, for many years. blonde is, in their view, a dreadful place, likened in some ways to North Korea. They don't mind using it, of course. It's free, 'innit?

I shall of course regret posting this, nothing is more certain.

I'm off to find peace this evening, on the PLO8 Tables. I play for micro stakes, SNG's, £5 & £11 a time, & I'll play 20 or 30 tonight, blissfully happy in my own little world. I used to play too big - we all did, I think? - but for the next 3 or 4 hours, I'll be at peace in my own little world, dreaming of the WSOP PLO8 Tourneys. Just me, all on my own, pitting my wits with like-minded people. Weird, after all these years, I've never enjoyed poker more.

Couldn't resist either.  Sorry.

I was struggling to remember where I knew him from before.  Now I remember.

[RED-DOG]

You're all just so weak.

[DaveShoelace]

Its been three days since I last had a book to read, and I have the shakes. I never realised how much of a habit reading had become, but I finished my last book the other day and I have bought two that still have not arrived.

Kindles are awesome, but I just like the feel of a real book. I also live just opposite a post office and go there most days to send the UK versions of my own book, so I just resell the books I've read on Amazon, which works out the cheapest way for me.

Last book I read was a great one called The Smartest Kids in the World by Amanda Ripley. It explores why schools in Finland, Korea and Poland are out performing the rest of the world. Finland because they encourage critical thinking, Poland because they have raised the expectations of the children and Korea because they are brutal with how hard they work the kids. The stuff about Korean schools in partcular is fascinating.

Book before that was called the Sports Gene. After reading maybe five books about how hard work beats talent, this one is all about natural talent. Cracking read again, especially this story about this Swedish high jumper who dedicated his life to the high jump, only to be beat at the world championships by someone who had only been doing it for three months.

I'm waiting for a book about how people have survived natural disasters and another one about willpower (which I listened to as an audiobook and now want to reread). I think I'll go crazy if one of them doesn't arrive today (working from home, the 2pm visit by the Postman is one of the highlights of the day).

Books are great, you can get some as cheap as £3 on Amazon, they must be the best ROI in terms of what you can potentially get out of them.

[RED-DOG]

Currently reading Chickenhawk by Robert Mason. It's the true story of a helicopter pilot during the Vietnam war.

I giving it a 'Recommended'  7.5 / 10

[Jon MW]

Doesn't anybody read fiction anymore? 

[DaveShoelace]

Doesn't anybody read fiction anymore? 

Not me I'm afraid. I love non fiction because I always feel its a productive use of my relaxation time. I also love it when I am able to apply a nugget of information I learned from a book (Case in point, this week I interviewed Finnish player Ville Wahlbeck and I had a decent conversation about the Finnish school system as a direct result of the last book I read).

I keep meaning to read a fiction book, the problem is I want to read a real belter of a book and I cant decide which one to start with which I havent already seen the movie adaptation for. Any suggestions for a sure fire winner?

[Tal]

Does it not seem a little weird that you watch all manner of HBO stuff but don't do fiction books?

I'd recommend Thomas Hardy as someone you struggle to put down, such is the ease of his use of language. It's got that The Wire "I'll just watch one more episode while I'm here" touch.

[DaveShoelace]

Does it not seem a little weird that you watch all manner of HBO stuff but don't do fiction books?

I'd recommend Thomas Hardy as someone you struggle to put down, such is the ease of his use of language. It's got that The Wire "I'll just watch one more episode while I'm here" touch.

It is weird. I think its probably because watching stuff is more passive than reading, even though reading is relaxing.

[Tal]

Does it not seem a little weird that you watch all manner of HBO stuff but don't do fiction books?

I'd recommend Thomas Hardy as someone you struggle to put down, such is the ease of his use of language. It's got that The Wire "I'll just watch one more episode while I'm here" touch.

It is weird. I think its probably because watching stuff is more passive than reading, even though reading is relaxing.

Conversely, I'd generally sooner watch an hour long documentary on someone than read a 250 page book about it.