Funny stories from nights on the lash

[DungBeetle]

Went to a work colleague's stag do about 10 years back on a Thursday night, and after the obligatory visit to Stringfellows I asked a minicab driver to take me somewhere to keep drinking at 2am or whatever it was.  He drove me miles out of London (reckon it was south london zone 4/5 but I was pretty hammered) and he dropped me off at some house which turned out to be an Eastern European knocking shop. 

I've never had any interaction with prostitutes, so asked the "Madam" or whatever it was called if I could just drink their beer and watch TV in the "reception" area.  They charged me £5 per bottle of stella while I watched MTV and saw all the customers coming in and out. 

After a while I got bored and went for a wander and ended up drinking tea in the backroom with a couple of Nigerian pimps, while we played 3 handed poker.  I won in the game, but by the time I arrived back at the office for work at 7am I realised they had somehow stolen my wallet which was a bit of a dampner on proceedings.  Good night though.

[Woodsey]

lol good one.

I remember a few years back in Vegas going to an all nude strip club in Vegas (most are not full nude) when hammered and had a few dances etc. When i got up the next day I picked up my clothes which were strewn about the room, I had been wearing a white shirt, on closer inspection of the shirt there were lots of dark brown/black pubes on the front lower area where the grinding had occurred during the 'dances' 

[lucky_scrote]

Paging lil Dave

[Royal Flush]

Trigg has the best story I've ever heard, please post it lad

[lucky_scrote]

I do have one, but I'm not exactly big time so it won't blow your mind.

I was doing a strip crawl on my first summer in Vegas and I'm out with people in our house. We are in the paris and extremely drunk, it's about 2am and John Eames went home about an hour ago because there is a $200 freeze starting at the Rio at 5pm and he wanted to be fresh. I take out what is in my wallet which is about $3k and I get chips to play roulette. I don't really gamble much so this is really reckless of me but I don't plan on using it all, I'm just being a bit big time. After losing $1200 in a certain amount of time I get fed up and stick the rest on 36. I didn't really fathom how much money I had bet on a single number and it was almost definitely above the table maximum but nobody seemed to care. As the ball is spinning a guy I'm out drinking with comes over and spots what I'm doing. He has about 10 seconds to make me come to my senses and we aren't exactly thinking at our best but somehow I managed to scrape the chips back before the 'no more bets' announcement. Obv rolls in 36 and I go home.

I am a massive roulette noob but if the bet stood I was in for a tasty sum (what happens if max bet is 500 here? does the 1800 stand?). My mate asked me how I felt when we woke the next day about him telling me to remove the bet and I said that I didn't really care, in fact I was happy as 37 out of 38 times that hangover would've felt pretty hefty.

I probably have some actual decent drinking stories but unless there is a witness I tend to forget them.