The WeddingSo roll around saturday, myself, Dan and Kayla had gotten fairly well dressed, in the form of trousers and shirts (I didn't bring a suit with me) taking his role as the "best man" very seriously, Stu had decided it was only fitting he would hire a tuxedo, Ori and Perry (his two nutcase pals) who had been given the roles of "father of the bride" and "Usher" respectively had gone for slightly different options. Ori, proud as he must have been to be walking his daughter (a gd few yrs older than him) down the isle went for the modern "jeans and t-shirt" look, whilst Perry, clearly more of a traditionalist and determined to be just the snappiest dressed usher there went for a frilly silk purple shirt, buttoned about half way down his chest. Paul, the groom had a pretty snazzy grey suit with black shirt and of course the bride, who's name I just can't recall, had a VERY short white wedding dress with the customary amount unnecessary cleavage you would expect on such a day.
I have to tell you the stories of two journies, one of which I was present for, and one of which I was not...I am going to tell both as if I was there. Stu, Ori and Perry as the weeding party were due to meet the happy couple at the Rio hotel at midday on the day of the wedding, and myself, Dan and Kayla, as the guests were due to meet them at the Little Chappel of Flowers to cheer the arrival of the happy couple...
First, the wedding party, prompt and excited the three of them were there BANG on time only to find no trace of the happy couple and just a fairly tilted looking limo driver ready to drive off, after a few minutes investigation the couple came into sight, and they were drunk, they were so very, very drunk, so much so that the Limo driver, fearing naturally for the good of his interior had refused to allow them in the limo, plainly speaking the pair of them were too drunk to attend their own wedding
. After some negotiations from Stu, determined not to let anything spoil the best day of his life, and the promise of a $500 deposit against either of them throwing up, they were on their way!
Here was when the first few cracks in the couple started to appear, intoxicated and no doubt feeling the emotions of the happiest day of her life, the bride was slightly taken about by Ori/the father of the bride's charm and good looks he found herself unable to resist shamelessly flirting with him, rubbing the inside of his leg and generally being ever so complimentary to his physique. This, as you might imagine caused a fair bit of tension in the limo ride to the chappel. But if you think that was the most disgraceful thing that was happening on a jourmey the chappel at that moment in time, then you'd be wrong, the three of us in our taxi journey were taking that prize...
All dressed up and heading for the chappel I was in the back seat with Kayla whilst Dan was in the front, making some small talk with the taxi driver Dan thought it would be quite amusing to suggest it was in fact myself and Kayla who were getting married, a little tipsy and spurred on by the excitement of the day I took the story and RAAANNNN with it, the taxi driver who was a very charming older man, was so over the moon about the fact he was taking a couple to their wedding that he started to go into stories about his family, and his wife who had left him and gave us all this advice for the future etc, by this point I was feeling about as low as was possible and couldn't wait to get out of the taxi, thank the man, tip him enormously and pretend it never happened! Once we got their, he opened the door for kayla, gave her a big hug, shook my hand with a tear in his eye and told me the fare was on him, it was an absolute privilege to take a young couple to their wedding and wished us all the best, and told us no matter what, to keep loving each other...
Seriously a lightning bolt should have struck me there and then! I was so close to just marrying Kayla out of principle there and then
With a lil time to kill before the wedding party was due to arrive, there had been a "hold up" that he was "handling" according to Stu we took a trip to the gift shop, to try find a wedding present for them. After much deliberation we went for a cake knife with a heart shaped handle, what a lovely thing. Kayla added a condom to the presents, kinda accurately pointing out that "they don't even have a cake" and we waited, patiently...very patiently for them to arrive...
When they finally turned up, over 2 hours late for their own wedding and barely able to stand up, Stu stormed out to discuss with the minister about when he would be able to perform his speech. This sparked a massive row between Stu and the minister when he was told very firmly that "he would NOT be allowed to make any speech" because this was a "serious chappell" adding that it was being filmed (yay for that btw!) and we were not to spoil it or make a mockery of the chappel by singing and/or chanting before, during or after the ceremony.
We'll get right onto that one rev
For 48 hours after this glorious day, we were able to view THE ENTIRE wedding online, titbeam I think maybe had a copy saved of it, but niether myself, Dan nor Stu have a copy, all that remains from this glorious day is a video, fairly poor quality, filmed by Ori of Stu watching the highlights, which I will post for you now. The one point of the video you cant see here is the part when Paul is reading his vows, he starts off boldly, then slowly starts to lose all colour, and by the end of it is shaking, white as a sheet and unable to speak at all, perhaps someone regretting the idea eh?!
Anyway, the video, enjoy!
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