Scarface / The Godfather - The Godfather
single coil / humbucker - humbucker
half full / half empty - half full
Saturday / Sunday - saturday
Stockings / tights - stockings
spring / autumn - spring
Indian / Chinese - chinese
Bath / Shower - shower
Totalatarianism / Democracy - democracy
capitalist / socialist - socialism
Roundhead / Cavalier - roundhead
La-La / Po - lala
Diesel / Unleaded - unleaded
J,J / A10 - J,J
Bus it / Walk it - walk it
BBC news 24 / Skynews - news 24
Daniel Negraneau / Howard Lederer - negraneau
Blonde / brunette - brunette
Nice girl Willow / Leather clad vamp Willow - vamp
Buffy / Cordellia - cordellia
Raul / Fernando Torres - raul
red / blue - blue
Snoopy / Scooby Doo - snoopy
limit / no-limit - no limit
whole nut / fruit and nut - whole nut
Pacino / De Niro = pacino
Del Boy / Rodney - del boy
STT / MTT - stt
Eyes / smile - eyes
Hero / sidekick - hero
Apple / Pear - apple
chocolate / vanilla - chocolate
Real ale / Lager - lager
Gerrard / Lampard - gerrard
Personality / looks - looks
AA UTG call / raise - call
Two pair / flush draw on the flop - flush draw
swings / roundabouts - swings
Salad / Sauce - sauce
Freezeout / Rebuy - freezeout
hendon / Blonde - blonde
Tea / Coffee - tea
Sugar / Sweetex - sugar
Peanut Butter / Jelly - jelly
laptop / desktop - desktop
Steak / BJ - BJ (duh)
WSOP / WPT - WPT
Satalite / supertsatalite supersat
deal or no deal - no deal
Breasts / legs? - breast
Stop 'n Go / All-in over the top - stop and go
Dot cotton / pat butcher - vomited
bacon / sausage - bacon
comedy / drama - comedy
Victor Meldrew / Basil Fawlty - fawlty
fried egg sandwich / bacon sandwich - bacon
Batman / Spiderman - spiderman
MSN / SMS - msn
PS3 / XBOX 360 - ps3
Laddies / VC - Laddies
Simpsons / Futurama - futurama (family guy actually)
Life of Brian / Holy Grail (life of brian (meaning of life!?)
Iranu / Uvavu - uvavu
Cheryl Tweedy / Charlotte Church - church
Little / Large - large
Felicity Kendall /Michaela Strachan - strachan
The future / the past? - future
Kylie Manogue's Bum / J-Lo's breasts - j-los breast (cos you can still see the bum from the front

)
X-Ray specs / next weeks Lotto numbers - lotto numbers
nurse / St Trinians - st trinians