(Continued from Part I)
Lesson Number 1: Understand your opponent instead of blaming him
Let's say you were studying for a history exam and asked your friend what year was the Battle of Hastings, you wouldn't send him to Coventry if he replied "Uh... 1678" would you? He's not a history student and may not have the foggiest on the correct answer. This very simple concept in empathy (looking at things through the eyes of someone else) should help you understand why you shouldn't get angry at your opponent.
To hit the point home again, imagine if YOU are doing something that you enjoy only as a hobby - let's say golf. You swing from the fairway (remember this is an analogy not factual) and make a lucky eagle direct in off a tree. You're really happy, but a pro-golfer comes by and tells you that your swing was awful, your clubs are second rate and that you don't deserve to be playing golf. You'd get pissed off in a hurry and shove a 3 wood where it hurts - and for good reason, you're just here to have fun! You don't give a rats backside about good technique, because dropping £20 for a round of golf is your idea of a good time.
So, before berating other players at a lower limit table, stop and remember that almost everyone at the table is just looking to have fun. You may be one of the few serious ones or aspiring pros. So, act like a professional and realise that it's completely pointless to blame people for mistakes they a) don't realise and b) don't care about. They are here to have fun and that's that.
Let's say you were studying for a history exam and asked your friend what year was the Battle of Hastings, you wouldn't send him to Coventry if he replied "Uh... 1678" would you? He's not a history student and may not have the foggiest on the correct answer. This very simple concept in empathy (looking at things through the eyes of someone else) should help you understand why you shouldn't get angry at your opponent. To hit the point home again, imagine if YOU are doing something that you enjoy only as a hobby - let's say golf. You swing from the fairway (remember this is an analogy not factual) and make a lucky eagle direct in off a tree. You're really happy, but a pro-golfer comes by and tells you that your swing was awful, your clubs are second rate and that you don't deserve to be playing golf. You'd get pissed off in a hurry and shove a 3 wood where it hurts - and for good reason, you're just here to have fun! You don't give a rats backside about good technique, because dropping £20 for a round of golf is your idea of a good time.
So, before berating other players at a lower limit table, stop and remember that almost everyone at the table is just looking to have fun. You may be one of the few serious ones or aspiring pros. So, act like a professional and realise that it's completely pointless to blame people for mistakes they a) don't realise and b) don't care about. They are here to have fun and that's that.
Lesson Number 2: There is no revenge in poker, just karma
Most of the advice you will get about tilt is to remember that it's a long term game. If you read in between the lines, what the advice is really saying is either: that bastard will bust out eventually or you will win eventually. What's wrong about both of these modes of thinking is that it still implies feeling sorry over the fact that you had a bad beat.
The problem however, is that line of thinking (however logical) is flawed in terms of controlling tilt. As long as you keep thinking that you should be sorry for yourself after every bad beat - you'll still be tilting. You don't want to be feeling sorry for yourself if you want to get off tilt.
To illustrate, if you just had your car stolen and the policeman told you "Oh don't worry, he'll eventually be caught down the road." That doesn't make you feel better, does it? No it doesn't, because you still want to catch the jerk and give him what for. But the fact is, you can't.
You just simply have to man up to the fact that your car is gone and no line of wishy-washy "oh but he'll pay in the future!" thinking is going to make you feel better, even if it is true.
Most of the advice you will get about tilt is to remember that it's a long term game. If you read in between the lines, what the advice is really saying is either: that bastard will bust out eventually or you will win eventually. What's wrong about both of these modes of thinking is that it still implies feeling sorry over the fact that you had a bad beat.
The problem however, is that line of thinking (however logical) is flawed in terms of controlling tilt. As long as you keep thinking that you should be sorry for yourself after every bad beat - you'll still be tilting. You don't want to be feeling sorry for yourself if you want to get off tilt.
To illustrate, if you just had your car stolen and the policeman told you "Oh don't worry, he'll eventually be caught down the road." That doesn't make you feel better, does it? No it doesn't, because you still want to catch the jerk and give him what for. But the fact is, you can't.
You just simply have to man up to the fact that your car is gone and no line of wishy-washy "oh but he'll pay in the future!" thinking is going to make you feel better, even if it is true.
Lesson Number 3: Give up control
Before you watch Rounders for the umpteeth time and convince yourself that poker is a skill only game, remember that it wouldn't be gambling if there wasn't luck involved. World Series of Poker champions have been made by the river. You lost $20, $50, $100 on one hand? Try losing $400,000 and a bracelet. It's still a game that is dicated by luck.
Try to think of poker in this way: Luck is a mountain, poker is a big boulder and you are skill, running alongside the boulder trying to move it to avoid smashing into trees as it rolls down the mountain. No matter how hard you try, you can only adjust the boulder so much to avoid hitting trees. Sometimes the trees are just ahead and there's nothing you can do, while other times you can barely avoid a hit if you try with all your might.
If you finally mastered this boulder game, you would eventually realise that there is only so much you can do, while the rest is up to fate. It's futile to try and control that which you can't. All you can do is position yourself in the best spot possible and hope for the best.
Before you watch Rounders for the umpteeth time and convince yourself that poker is a skill only game, remember that it wouldn't be gambling if there wasn't luck involved. World Series of Poker champions have been made by the river. You lost $20, $50, $100 on one hand? Try losing $400,000 and a bracelet. It's still a game that is dicated by luck.
Try to think of poker in this way: Luck is a mountain, poker is a big boulder and you are skill, running alongside the boulder trying to move it to avoid smashing into trees as it rolls down the mountain. No matter how hard you try, you can only adjust the boulder so much to avoid hitting trees. Sometimes the trees are just ahead and there's nothing you can do, while other times you can barely avoid a hit if you try with all your might.
If you finally mastered this boulder game, you would eventually realise that there is only so much you can do, while the rest is up to fate. It's futile to try and control that which you can't. All you can do is position yourself in the best spot possible and hope for the best.
to be continued...