Summer is here and, as I’m going to be travelling around a bit, I thought I’d purchase some suitable garb to prevent my sweat glands from being overly active. So, I got my botty down to that cheapo high street shop and filled up on light coloured, cotton based clothes. If shopping didn’t go against my man instincts so much, it might be +EV to do away with my washing machine altogether, instead, fulfilling all my clean clothes needs by a quick visit to Primark, and simply throwing them away when they get dirty. No need to alienate whoever’s sitting next to me on the train with my odour-de-too-thick jumper for the time of year. It might make them less inclined to natter away with me, and, in so doing, inspire subject matter for a blonde poker article. Unfortunately, this week, the gentlemen in the adjacent seat just coughed a lot (without covering his mouth) rather than performing the duty of being my muse. It looked like I’d just have to just write about Hold 'Em again, ho-hum.
Too much Hold 'Em is bad for you though, or at least I think so. You see variety is the spice of life, and without spice, we wouldn’t have Emma Bunton. When the noggin needs a rest, you don’t want to burn out on check raising the turn, defending your blind and working out how to play big slick when deep. For the card gambling nutter though, who can’t completely wave goodbye to hearts, spades, diamonds, clubby-wubs... Chinese Poker could be the answer.
For those unfamiliar with Chinese Poker, I’ll briefly explain the concept. Between two and four players are dealt 13 cards each. They each construct 3 hands (a 3-card front hand, a 5-card middle hand, and a 5-card back hand). Your back hand must be higher in value to your middle hand, which in turn must outrank your front hand. Then players simply select their hands and lay them on the table. For example, you could put forward your cards in the following manner A-A-3, 6-6-8-8-9, T-J-Q-K-A but not A-A-A, 6-6-8-8-3, 9-T-J-Q-K. With the latter, the trip aces on the front, would outrank your two pair in the middle, so you wouldn’t be allowed to do it.
You then compare your three hands with your opponents' corresponding three hands. If yours is
better, you win a point. If it gets beat, you lose a point. No betting with chips is involved like the traditional poker we know and love. The score is usually kept track with a pen and a napkin. Big wads of cash certainly changes hands though, with an agreed upon amount of money corresponding to a point. Incredibly, six figure sums were reported to have been won and lost playing this game at the EPT final in Monte Carlo, with Ram (right) being the biggest winner.
It isn’t quite completely without skill. However, the luck element is much larger than in a regular game of poker. To play the game at a near expert level would require around a day's study with a computer simulation. With just one decision to make (what cards to put in what hand) and, with next to no information to worry about giving away or picking up on/from your opponents, it’s a rather one dimensional game. That doesn’t stop it being a great deal of fun though.
It is unlikely to be spread by any major online site anytime soon. A simple program could tell you the mathematically best way to arrange your hands, and that kinda removes the tiny element of skill there is to begin with. Small adjustments might be made if, for example, you know an opponent makes the beginner's mistake of choosing the best possible 5-card back hand every time. Aside from this, what the computer says is the optimal way to play your cards, is pretty much correct.
A good thing about this game is that it’s a great way to satisfy that urge to gamble after being knocked out of a tournament. Playing in a regular side game, you’ll give up a lot of edge if you’re tired and/or upset. In casino games, you‘re a sucker and you know it. With Chinese Poker, so long as you’ve gone to the relatively small amount of trouble to learn the game (and at least one of your opponents hasn’t), you can happily gamble away for as long as you can keep your eyes open. In any condition you can be confident that you have an edge. The bad news is that the edge will be tiny, if it’s there at all.
I think the game will grow in popularity wherever poker players gather. You can’t play it online, so players might be keen to try what they can‘t get at home. Loads of peeps simply have to gamble, and this affords that opportunity without it being a 'leak'. You can get as drunk as you like and remain the shark at the table, assuming you can still remember what you’ve learned.
For those unfamiliar with Chinese Poker, I’ll briefly explain the concept. Between two and four players are dealt 13 cards each. They each construct 3 hands (a 3-card front hand, a 5-card middle hand, and a 5-card back hand). Your back hand must be higher in value to your middle hand, which in turn must outrank your front hand. Then players simply select their hands and lay them on the table. For example, you could put forward your cards in the following manner A-A-3, 6-6-8-8-9, T-J-Q-K-A but not A-A-A, 6-6-8-8-3, 9-T-J-Q-K. With the latter, the trip aces on the front, would outrank your two pair in the middle, so you wouldn’t be allowed to do it.
You then compare your three hands with your opponents' corresponding three hands. If yours is
better, you win a point. If it gets beat, you lose a point. No betting with chips is involved like the traditional poker we know and love. The score is usually kept track with a pen and a napkin. Big wads of cash certainly changes hands though, with an agreed upon amount of money corresponding to a point. Incredibly, six figure sums were reported to have been won and lost playing this game at the EPT final in Monte Carlo, with Ram (right) being the biggest winner.It isn’t quite completely without skill. However, the luck element is much larger than in a regular game of poker. To play the game at a near expert level would require around a day's study with a computer simulation. With just one decision to make (what cards to put in what hand) and, with next to no information to worry about giving away or picking up on/from your opponents, it’s a rather one dimensional game. That doesn’t stop it being a great deal of fun though.
It is unlikely to be spread by any major online site anytime soon. A simple program could tell you the mathematically best way to arrange your hands, and that kinda removes the tiny element of skill there is to begin with. Small adjustments might be made if, for example, you know an opponent makes the beginner's mistake of choosing the best possible 5-card back hand every time. Aside from this, what the computer says is the optimal way to play your cards, is pretty much correct.
A good thing about this game is that it’s a great way to satisfy that urge to gamble after being knocked out of a tournament. Playing in a regular side game, you’ll give up a lot of edge if you’re tired and/or upset. In casino games, you‘re a sucker and you know it. With Chinese Poker, so long as you’ve gone to the relatively small amount of trouble to learn the game (and at least one of your opponents hasn’t), you can happily gamble away for as long as you can keep your eyes open. In any condition you can be confident that you have an edge. The bad news is that the edge will be tiny, if it’s there at all.
I think the game will grow in popularity wherever poker players gather. You can’t play it online, so players might be keen to try what they can‘t get at home. Loads of peeps simply have to gamble, and this affords that opportunity without it being a 'leak'. You can get as drunk as you like and remain the shark at the table, assuming you can still remember what you’ve learned.
Chinese Poker has a reputation of having almost no skill involved, so the vast majority of your opponents won’t have gone to the trouble of purchasing a specialist computer simulation and memorizing the perfect play in close situations. Bad players won’t realise they’re bad players as so much of it is down to luck. They can keep playing for years, making the same mistakes, and simply put their results down to variance. One final word of warning... As any advantage at this game is very small, don’t expect it to pay the grocery bills. Although I’ve punted it as an inexpensive/slightly profitable way to let off steam and get your action jollies, in the short term it can be anything but.
As with everything else, don’t put your shirt on the line. Keeping track of the score with pen and paper, one could lose track of how much they're in for, and losing more than you can afford is easier than usual.
It's a highly entertaining game, but...
Approach Chinese Poker in the wrong way and shopping at Primark may become a necessity, and you won’t need to worry about stinking up the train carriage on the way home, you’ll be walking!