blonde poker forum

It is sad but it has to be done. This is the Court of Enquiry established to protect the integrity of the RSQ. The quiz must be protected. Of late it has suffered from various issues, too many useless Quiz Masters to mention here, unwarranted delays before reveals and such. Yet it now faces it's sternest test yet. RSQ rules come and go on the whim of individual QMs but it is common amongst them all that the outlawing of googling is an established and basic rule. There has, in recent events, developed an undercurrent of discontent that certain entrants have googled for their answers. Now initially the suspects were not brought to book, mainly because it would have hardly helped them achieve victory and, in some cases, they needed all the help they could get. Now we have stark allegations that a serial winner has been googling, this undermines the very foundations of our beloved quiz and the matter must be aired.

It is alleged that the (honourable) member known as TightEnd, member for Bedfordshire, has been googling. He is hereby summoned to appear before the court to answer these allegations.

Should there be a denial of this charge then a trial will take place. The appointed prosecutor is Lady Ginger of Pompey QC and Legal Aid has been scrapped together to fund his defence, he is to represented by the learned kinboshi, member for wherever he is at the time. Evidence will be presented by the prosecution and the defence will be allowed to answer and put their case, other members are encouraged to participate. After closing arguments, if any, there will be a poll of the RSQ faithful who will be asked a simple question "Guilty or Not Guilty". If convicted the court will move to sentence.

TightEnd, how do you plead?

Tighty is guilty.

lol I hadn't even revealed the suspect!

I've seen the charges now. Guilty.

Kangaroo Court?

I will conduct my own defence, along with my much loved and plump breasted speckled Pigeon Jim.

I deny all allegations in their entirety and vigorously look forward to clearing my name that has been besmirched by nothing more than common jealousy *, and because I am a big target. Not easily missed.


* but only until about 9.30pm tonight and maybe a bit tomorrow as I am travelling.

Imagine having Kin as your court appointed attorney.....


*shivers*

Who asked you? You have no Rights.

thanks George W.

denided u are guilty

I doth protest too much if I conduct my defence this early

I will wait for Lady Pompey QC's case for the prosecution before I respond.

She will regret it though, or more to the point those paying her fees will.

Tightend pleads Not Guilty. He declines Legal Representation, that saves the state a brief fee of 7 shillings.

I invite the prosecution to produce their evidence.  (PS she cost more)

why do we need evidance when we all know he is guilty as charged and should be put in the stocks at bB8

big stocks are they?

It's called Justice we have to pretend to have a trial first.

Theatrical delay whilst Prosecuting Counsel adjusts her wig

Thank you Your Honour,

Today is a sad day for all blondes, a day when one of our previously highly respected members must be brought before the blonde Judge and Jury to answer to the crimes he has committed against the RSQ.

 
If was a simple task that MrEnd had to perform, he even had the chance to walk away and never take part in the quiz, but he chose to partake, knowing that one of the very few rules he had to abide by what …

“Thou shall not Google”

But, these were not the actions of a mere mortal, like Sharplea, who cannot be fully expected to abide by this rule, we turn a blind eye to certain people that we feel need the additional benefit of such aids

But, this was no mere blonde, it was Mr TightEnd. One who was held up for us all to aspire to, as we believed he had reached the pinnacle in RSQ'ing.

Sadly, we learnt that Mr TightEnd is Desperate, Motivated and Addicted.

Desperate to win

Motivated to win at any and all costs

And addicted to winning RQS.

Your Honour, it saddens me to state that I will bring evidence before you that is damning, and irrefutable. 

To the good blonde Jury, I appeal to you to throw the book at him, string him up, listen fairly and judge for yourselves.

hahahahahaha I cannot wait to see what else is said by all.

Thank you Lady Ginger, save that for the House of Lords, in the meanwhile, your evidence please.

who ever pays me the most money, im on there side!!!

if nobody does this, then...

......... Guilty?!

Objection!

I would like to know the identity of the jurors and have the opportunity to replace them if I think they have preconceived ideas on this matter

I look forward to receiving the 12 names

There are not simply 12 names, this is your jury:

http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?action=mlist

We expect to be awarded Costs.

I therefore submit that this trial is not properly constituted and therefore has no right to proceed

I move for the case to be dismissed, Lady Pompey to stand down and Judge RHM to retire on the grounds of senility.

wwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Jury Duty!!!!

<----------------- gets banana expense claim form out

Anyone got a pen?

Innocent!

this trial is a farce

Sorry Your Honour, I will proceed henceforth.

I would like to introduce the first piece of evidence, to be marked as google1, below.


and google2



In The RSQ in question, MrTightEnd entered and answer to the question  " Name a Domino's Pizza......" Mr TightEnds answer was the rather suspect "piri piri pizza"

As seen in the above quote, not only does he state that he had piri piri before, but then references a fictional Piri Piri Garlic bread or Piri Piri salad bowl. Neither of which are obtainable from Domino's.

If he had indeed ordered the said Piri Piri previously from said pizzeria, he would surly know that they did in fact, not exist!

Any costs will be awarded fairly, in fact justice will prevail. The scales of justice will weigh any Guilty defendant and costs awarded accordingly, in other words win or your buggered Mr End.

Objection dismissed. Please respect the Court!

denided

Lady Ginger, is there any more evidence or do you invite the defence to answer that evidence first?

Please come up with better "evidence" than Lady Pompey's first "submission" then.

Scandalously and ridiculously poor.

I look forward to buying a small Caribbean Island from the damages incurred by the blonde membership

Contempt of Court. Shoot him.

why waste a bullet we could lock him up without bread or water for 10 years

The defendant will be well advised not to "count his chickens"

The judge is advised to retire. Quickly. If Michael Martin can do it, why can't he?

I will now introduce google3


This has been obtained via a previous team mate that goes by the name of "Claw75" (I feel, Your Honour, that we may be seeing her within these court walls soon, also), it shows as to the character of the defendant and his associates. They do not realise they are cheating, they view it as researching - MrTightEnd is not adverse to "researching" for personal gain.   

Google4, sadly the most damning piece of evidence, submitted by MrTightend's own Council


MrEnd's own defence admitted that one would only ask for a Piri Piri Pizza Pizza, if the person requesting such a meal had a stammer.

I would ask MrTightEnd to recite the following, so we may ascertain if indeed he is inflicted with such an impediment

"Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?"

cause martin was only seen to be useless but its well known roberthm is

Less sniffling from the dock will assist the defendant's case.

Special witness for the defence?

May I cross examine on the subject of PiriPiriPizzaPizza Please?

At this point I have a rather interesting tale to tell

what sort of punishment is that? he can't have bread or water but presumably pizza and beer are ok

Might actually get me to lose weight, I am all for it actually. Ban bread for ten years is an acceptable plea bargain Lady Pompey don't you think?

No admission of guilt obviously

I am sure it will be interesting (yawn) however i wait to see if Lady Ginger has concluded her evidence, until then please respect procedure.

only if its a piri piri pizza pizza and a piri piri pizza beer

I am off to bed at 9.30pm due to being on the road at 4am tomorrow

So hurry up or else matters will have to be adjourned, if your most gracious and rotund Judgeliness permits of course

And Finally, Google5


MrTightEnd view victory as a certainty, there is not doubt in his mind.

These are not the actions of a RSQ entrant, this are the actions of a desperate man, a man who is determined to claim that victory, and at any cost. He feels that winning is only a google away, to find that elusive rare Ace.

Should the good members that partake in the RSQ be fooled in such a way? should we allow the name of blonde RSQ'ing to be sullied as MrTightEnd has done so?

I leave it to you, the good blonde jury to decide the fate of this desperate man, perhaps a sentence that should include some form of (non google) help would be fitting?

I leave it to you to decide.

The prosecution rests. 

guilty

I await the seeds of reasonable doubt

enjoy it, that's the latest you'll be up for a while. lights out is at 9 in the Scrubs

http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=41816.195 (http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=41816.195)
More evidence.
Top of page 14. Show's pretty clearly that he has experience googling when he doesn't know the answers

If only he'd hired me in his defence...

Mr TightEnd, you have heard the evidence for the prosecution, she alleges opportunity and, very strongly, motive. Please put your case. You still have the option of instructing Mr kinboshi.

I f others have evidence for or against the defendant the court will hear other submissions.

In a more readable format to assist the jury

The defendant should be made aware, that as these are serious charges attracting a heavy penalty, that should Guilt be admitted immediately, that will be taken into account when sentencing.

GUILTY, on the grounds that he described the Judge as ""rotund".

I'm sure there is a plethora of evidence on the blonde boards, I will not make excuses - but my time frame for gathering such evidence was extremely small.

As shown, new evidence, and very relevant it is too, has already come to light.

;indestructable;

GUILTY  hang him,and that Claw person.

Lady Ginger, the court thanks you for your assistance in presenting the prosecution evidence so err fragrantly.

Imagine 12 blondes on the same jury....

























rotflmfao

oi - don't hang me - I'm the one that came up with most of the evidence ffs!!!!

Yes?

Just trying to attract the defendant's attention.

I think he is too busy hanging his head in shame.

Try perfume and undo a few buttons.

chances are they'll all be playing a Tightend sit and go at BB8!!

FARCE

Try wearing a short skirt & high heels.

He's farked-off bed - contempt of court!

;carlocitrone;

The defence would like to submit its case

Firstly my quiz track record is unblemished and in the top echelons of UK quizzing

I am a Mastermind Semi finalist, I beat my Egghead but had the misfortune to have Claw alongside me for the final with £17,000 at stake and have a successful track record of quizmastering. Most reliable of all I didn't have a clue about any of Newmanseye's bb questions

Furthermore I have some interesting character traits that lend me to the application of useful information to completely pointless quizzes. I have an almost perfect photographic memory, although it is fading with age now. This led me to get 14 O Levels, 4 Alevels, 2 AS Levels a degree and A Doctorate on nothing more than learning by rote.

Applying this memory has always been hugely misplaced by me, a symptom of what I beleive is undiagnosed OCD. Ask me to remember something useless, I am your man

Onto Pizza

Three weekends ago my children bounded into my car.

"Dad Dad is there a Domino's Pizza near you?"

"I don't know" I replied honestly

They went on to explain that they had received a delivery the other night as their mum was too lazy to cook healthy food for them and could I please treat them to similar that weekend?

I prevaricated, and tried to persuade them to join me at the Bengal Pearl in Flitwick for a curry. Two of the three children demurred though.

Instead some twenty fours later I found myself surfing through the Dominos website

I input my post code MK45 1BL and established that my local Dominos store was the local Domino's of their abode with their Mum's

Our mutual excitement rose. I Went down the menu item by item...note photographic memory...and we selected between us

2 x Personal Cheese and Tomato Pizzas
1x Large Meateor...I was rather taken with the pun here actually

and for myself

1x PiriPiriPizza as it contains Tandoori Chicken, and I crosss reference to my Indian desire from the ngiht before

I noticed the Hot tandoori option, but though I wouldn't risk it

I went to input the order. Disaster!!! This store does not deliver to your location 

I pleaded with my children for us not to have to go to the outlet but I was toow eak to resist and disappoint them

We picked the pizzas up

I thought nothing more of it

Until I notice a dominos question on the latest RSQ


Now at this point RSQ strategy has to come into play, and I submit that I am unparallelled in RSQ strategy as four victories undoubtedly show

It was my mental contention that the answer most likely to be picked by the fewest contestants was PiriPiriPizza and indeed Iwas correct in that as only Gatso chose it

Successful strategy, allied to a ridiculously underused but powerful memory, combined with weakness as a father and whiny kids had combined to create a perfect storm of my life experience and RSQ

I returned home last night after my seventh final table in ten attempts, though I don't think I have mentioned that anywhere, and was most upset to see my integrity impugned in such a way by those without any integrity, notably Colchester Kev

I chose to illustrate my PiriPiriPizza point by suggesting that I had not ordered PiriPiri Garlic bread or Salad Bowl. This was not intended to convey that either item is available at Dominos merely saying that my answer was seeking to be comprehensive as my memory suggested. Unlike Gatso, who put half an answer.

Furthermore I submit that my later answer "Revolution Road" which was a correct fail is further evidence of no googling, as if I had googled I would have seen the correct name for the film"Revolutionary Road"

I am completely innocent and hereby seek punitive damages in the sum of my owed blonde back pay

I am also disgusted at the lack of respect shown to one who is primus inter pares amongst RSQers

I intend to establish a rival RSQ venture forthwith.

The defence rests

Bollocks defence.

Are you sure?!?!

well I am logging off now with a clear conscience and the knowledge of a case well fought and foe utterly vanquished

So yes

and Kinboshi is sacked

I invite any member to add  submissions, for either side, and if Lady Ginger has anything to say in rebuttal, this is her chance.

In that case I will prepare to put the matter to the Jury

The defence has just hung himself - he is openly admitting to using the internet to gain the relevent information that will be used in a Reverse Sheep Quiz!!

three weeks later.

pfffff, you knew it was likely to be a question somewhere down the line - the fact that you "revised" early is no excuse

It is that combination of rare intelligence, hours online and instinct for the random facts unneccessary for modern life that gets me by

I submit in reference to this my knowledge of pornography in the Joobie quiz

before deciding on a verdict, I think it would be useful to hear from the present holder of the position of RSQQM.  Sir Gatso - has the defendant yet submitted his answers for the 'let's go round edition'?  If so, is there any evidence of googling therein?

I could save the condemned man, but I've been sacked and don't do pro bono work (U2 have enough money).

Hang him!

tl;dr

so Guilty

I have submitted them

I did not google

I did not know the names of any Soap Dogs except One who I thought was an obvious sheep, so I passed. Acutally I've just remembered a second. Bugger.

did ironside do the poll?

Gulty?

A sentence can only be imposed when if the defendant has been found guilty

Don't you have a indecent exposure case to get your teeth into somewhere?

Read it, in the middle there's a bit about a bloke who rides horses and wears ridiculous hats. you'll like it

photographic memory yet still got revolutionary road wrong? surely evidence of no photographic memory which undermines the whole defence

in answer to claw's query, the defendent has submitted his answers for the next episode of the farce. in fairness to the condemned he didn't google, either that or he took a dive to cover his tracks

not at all, I rushed it and slipped up on the preciseness necessary to once again return to the Winners circle

ty

You closed your case but still protest, however you are only producing evidence of motive.

I HEREBY SUBMIT THAT THE RIGGED VOTING IS NOT QUORATE

Mistrial inevitable

Never heard of a dog in any soap called Bugger. 

See, without Google he's useless.

I don't deny motive, its hard to stay so far ahead of the competition, no matter how weak the competition is

However you can only beat what is put in front of you.

However the evidence of guilt was so flimsy that only a court of Mugabe like integrity would give it a scintilla of thought

denided

Please don't do that in public, we could end up with another trial

Was this the case you were on about Robert?

thank you to the other person who voted me not guilty. It means a lot. If you are female and single please PM, thanks

PM Sent ;)

He has sooo many

Quite frankly, Mr TightEnd, that is a load of literal waffle.

So, to put it into terms that some might actually read, you defence is...

" I had to feed the children, photographic memory recorded all pizza's"

Yet your photographic memory did not record that I did not, in fact, question your answer of 'Revolution Road'

So, 500 words cut down to 11, and arguing a point that was never raised, Hmmmmm

Also, add to that the additional extra point you just submitted -

Only a Mastermind Semi finalist (no win)
Lost with Egg Heads

Neither could Google be used...

I see a pattern.

 ;ashamed;

Already answered Revolution Road point

I could make my next post longer if it would help?

don't be expecting any conjugal visits though

I was really hoping you would find him not guilty so I can punish him for you on Friday ;) :D :D

I did not question the Revolution road point, you introduced it yourself.

Is somebody protesting too much?

Would a shorter reply from myself help you?

surely single updating the GUKPT in Newcastle will be punishment enough..

after seeing the utter joy in his face during the Manchester leg, I think it'll actually be a tad cruel

Good rubdown.

My rev road point helped prove my case

Shorter replies most welcome, tyvm in advance

so it's 'rev road' now.  are you developing some form of photographic alzheimer's?  could that explain why you clearly believe you are innocent?  could it be that you forgot that you used google?

Anyway its all moot, but sadly not mute in a few cases

I have been found guilty by a selection of my not quite peers

I look forward to appealing against whatever sentence is handed down on the morrow

British Justice? Pffffttttttt.

Good night

Genius

Although to respect (or at least pretend to) the defendants rights, perhaps the court should consider the establishing of a Jury of the RSQ community to deliberate and prounounce judgement over the accused. (FHL)

Would the accused please confirm the search engine used to locate the afore moentioned Domino's website?
The rules of RSQ clearly state no googling, so with the accuseds admission of photgraphic memory, then surely it could not have slipped his mind that google was almost certainly used to locate this information. It is of complete irrelevance to the court of any time frame where the information may have been obtained, just that it should not be googled.

Extremely good point, I believe your help with this RSQ trial could counteract any doubt that was previously held about your good self.

Has anyone seen RR? 

You would have been good as joint counsel for the State. No doubt there will be more cases sometime in the future.

Sigh Tighty Tighty Tighty - all was going well and I was was about to click the 'non-guilty' button until I read this ...


... so, on behalf of busy worn out mums, who would normally cook their offspring fresh home-cooked meals but chose for one night a week to order a pizza (which is hardly a crime compared to RSQ googling) - I hereby declare that we deliver a vote of GUILTY your honour







(Phew, Thank fook you put that in there or it would have been a not-guilty vote)

Much better than lead counsel actually.

Didn't you spot the third option on the poll? guilty, not guilty or Fold?

You have been convicted of the heinous offence of googling in an RSQ quiz, sentence will be pronounced later.

Shame!

Might I suggest as punishment that tightend be forced, for a period of one week, to have the google logo as his avatar with the caption 'My name is Tightend and I am an RSQ google cheat'

ooooooooo I'm saving my tomatoes from today so that thery are all nice and squishy and mouldy for when you get put in the stocks  ;D



(Sigh, one day, ONE day I will be quick of the mark with a good retort myself)

Tightend, you stand convicted of the single charge and now you are to be sentenced. There will be no appeal, you have never been the appealing sort anyway. You are to be disqualified from a single quiz. It will be the next RSQ set by Mr gatso. He will still reveal your answers and marks you would have received but you will gain no credit for them. I hope this serves not only as a lesson to you but anyone else tempted to stray.

Finally I wish to thank Lady Ginger for her able presentation of her case and the services that would have been rendered by kinboshi, if only the defendant had been wise enough to utilise them.

Next case!

Thank you, and thanks to the good people of blonde for bringing this sad case to a close so swiftly.

Let it be a reminder to all of those that contemplate straying from the honest path, Google - just say NO!

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao ;applause; ;applause; ;applause; ;hattip;

The one evening I pick to throw down for a nap and miss the lot!  Bad beat, but very enjoyable catching up.

Don't you mean 'Tandoori Hot'?

gg wp Judge and Jury

OBJECTION

I was unable to vote as the case had already  been decided

I hope this was a No win No Fee case

I expect Mr. Tighty's Expenses for treating Dry Rot in Ampthill to be refunded to the kitty

Esther Rantzen has offered to stand against Mr. T in the next Bi- Election of Blonde Managers

Expenses for Domino Pizza  " For research purposes "will be returned

As I do not know the accused v well ,I must rely upon people who have known him the longest

Namely Mr. Kendall and Mr. Ironside, their opinions are seen at the start of the thread

I would have voted innocent too if the thread hadn't bored me to death before the poll went up

Are we going to have a public execution.  If so, by what means?

Is it Lithium Poisoning

Until he's blue in the face?

They're making him give interviews with you and read them back to himself until he tops himself (I say 4 hours) ;)

2 hours


p.s Free the TightEnd one and a half.

sorry, no - you're stuck in Newcastle whether you like it or not!