No Such Thing as a Loser Anymore

[thetank]

I have an idea, you don't want to patronize kids too much, and some don't want them to feel like losers.

Easy solution, have them all play Dempsey at poker.

[Royal Flush]

I have an idea, you don't want to patronize kids too much, and some don't want them to feel like losers.

Easy solution, have them all play Dempsey at poker.

Going in the log....

[Boba Fett]

If it wasnt for the bitter taste of losing and being a loser we could never gain as much satisfaction and enjoyment from winning and being successful

[Trace]

The last Headmaster at my son's primary school, didn't believe in the children competing against themselves, and so refused to run the traditional type of sports day.  He instead insisted on running something called Clockwork sports - strangely enough the kids all competed against each other, but as a team event.   Parents used to complain that the children had to learn that sometimes you won and sometimes you lost, but he wouldn't have any of it, if he heard anyone complaining about it during Sports Day he used to have a go at them.  All this was fine with him and he was happy, until it came to the Inter Schools Sports - he wasn't so fussy about the competitive edge then was he? ? ?   Bloody hypocrit he was!!

He eventually bogged off elsewhere and good riddance! 

Last year for the first time since leaving school myself, I actually got to watch one of my boys in a traditional sports day, just like I used to compete in at that exact same school.  It brought back some lovely memories.

[Eck]

Just been on the phone to Victor Chandler to ask when i can expect to recieve my "deffered winnings". for some reason they just laughed at me?

I don't know how i can face life anymore i'm crushed!!

[ariston]

Kids should be taught right from wrong and sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. If the pain of losing makes the desire to win stronger then so be it. Can you imagine the aussies letting their kids be "deffered winners"? This sort of mentality is why we are breeding a nation of losers at sporting events. My son is now 7 and hates to lose at anything he ever does, if he plays football on the playstation the sheer frustration is there to see if he is losing. Should this desire be quelled? My ex believes he should be taught losing is OK and he shouldn't get so frustrated- my oppinion is that that is bollox and I want him to succeed, losing is not an option in whatever he does- if he does lose it should make him try harder in future.

[I, Zimbra]

The last Headmaster at my son's primary school, didn't believe in the children competing against themselves, and so refused to run the traditional type of sports day.  He instead insisted on running something called Clockwork sports - strangely enough the kids all competed against each other, but as a team event. 

I wonder if this was the same head from my school? 

[Trace]

The last Headmaster at my son's primary school, didn't believe in the children competing against themselves, and so refused to run the traditional type of sports day.  He instead insisted on running something called Clockwork sports - strangely enough the kids all competed against each other, but as a team event. 

I wonder if this was the same head from my school? 

I wondered the same when I read your post, which was AFTER I posted mine - I can't remember the old gits name.  I'll ask my eldest, (one phonecall later)  Mr Derek Thompson.

[AdamM]

this is something I have mixed feelings on so decided to give some thought to before posting. On Thursday it was my 6 year old daughter, Charlotte's sports day so I decided to ask her about it in some depth. bare in mind her birthday is in June so she's one of the smallest and youngest in her class. two of her best friends are considerably bigger than her. She said she really wasn't looking forward to it at all. her face was very serious and concerned. They'd been practicing for a couple of weeks and she was still unsure whether to stand in the hoop and pull it up over herself or stand outside the hoop and pull it down over herself, whether the bean bag went on her head first or between her knees first, etc. I asked her about how she felt before a race started and she described a sickness in her stomach and a racing heart. massive nerves and adrenalin dump. a horrible thing to put a 6 year old kid through. She was nearly in tears just visualising it as she described it.

Now although I'm 'fighting fit', I'm not a particularly athletically minded person. I'd rather my kids be able to express themselves artistically and musically. I'll train them both in Martial arts but with a focus on self protection rather than sport. any sporting activity will be up to them really.

I think by having winners and losers in a race with kids this young is damaging. The physical difference between kids in the same year is considerable and you run the risk of carving out life's winners and losers on unfair grounds. if a younger child like Charlotte comes last in her race at age 5, 6, 7 and 8 because she is smaller and less physically developed than her classmates you instill in her an acceptance of losing in life. her friend who is nearly a year older gets the feeling of winning in life as she romps home 1st year after year. What happens if Charlotte under achieves her whole life because she has developed a personality that expects to fail, despite having the actual innate ability to succeed in anything. No one is saying that 11-16 kids should be schooled in this way. we're talking about infants. Charlotte was terrified by two things.
The thought of finishing last
The complexity of the race they were running.
I would rather them have the kids simply run, jump or throw something than put on these ridiculously hard obstacle courses.

Competition in life is unavoidable and without it society stagnates. However, creating life's winners and losers based on their athletic ability at age 5 or 6 is absurd. there is plenty of time for introducing the concept of competitive sport later on. I want my children to develop the ability to motivate themselvess. to set themselve realistic but challenging goals and to be able to objectively rate their own performance. I want free thinking individuals who push themselves to achieve rather than be pushed by outside forces. I think that's damaged by encouraging them to judge themselves comparatively at such an early stage.

[Sark79]

Good post Adam.   It is a toughie.  Like you, I have mixed feelings as well

[I, Zimbra]

I don't know how it is at some schools, but at my Primary school, not everyone raced in the Sports Day.

Simply, the kids who didn't want to race, didn't have to... but inevitably some kids from each class ended up participating.

[Sark79]

I loved sports day at School.  100, 200 and 400 metres were my favorites.   Good memories for me, but I can see that it isn't for everyone.  That is why being able to chose may be a good thing .

[I, Zimbra]

I don't mind kids deciding whether or not they want to participate, but the Headteacher deciding to scrap Sports Day altogether in favour of something resembling "It's A Knockout" is not the answer, IMO.