A Night In The Closet

[Rod Paradise]

The weirdest thing is trying to decline people's advances - when you tell a woman you're married and so therefore not interested - the message is usually received and understood. When a bloke chats you up, telling him you're married doesn't seem to help, in fact it can be seen as encouragement! Showing them your ring isn't going to help either...

  Cracker.

I always find, "sorry mate, I play for the other team" gets a laugh & no hassle.

[Rod Paradise]

Snoops, no need for the soul-searching mate, you were thrown into an unfamiliar environment & got a bit freaked, that doesn't make you a bad guy.

The first time I was taken into a gay bar (at a leaving do for my mate & his missus), I was taken into this new club, which was in a basement in Liverpool.

• Walls made to look like it was a cave, but painted pink (didn't suspect a thing), 
• Baskets on the bar which I thought contained munchies - contained extra strength condoms (still didn't suspect a thing),
• Barman in leather trousers, vest and leather waistcoat, (is it fancy dress in here?),
• Everyone else in couples, all same sex (Nope, still not got it - What can I say I was a wee innocent country boy),
• Sitting at the table & continuing talking about football with a guy from the group I'd not met... he's drinking a can of lager labeled GP. When asked he said it was Gay Pride - the penny dropped.

I started feeling rather uncomfortable, couldn't settle and left about 3/4 of an hour later (only having stayed because I refused to show how spooked I was - everybody of course knew how spooked I was).

I did the whole soul searching, am I a bigot thing, but since then I've been fine in the company of gay people & have gone to clubs with gay and straight mates & not had a problem (too ugly for gay men I think). I just freaked in a situation I wasn't expecting and wasn't prepared for.

Did you do the whole Jason Lee suddenly twigging thing from Chasing Amy?

I thought I gave no sign. Doubt I was as suave & cool as I thought (so probably, yes).

[tantrum]

LOL Rod--------  that's funny. 

[Dingdell]

I'm just really surprised that so many people have had little, or No in Snoopys case, interaction with Gay men. Gay men and women make up a percentage of society that we will come across in normal everyday life.

Perhaps unless they are outwardly camp your gaydar just misses them and you dont realise they are gay.

With a younger lifestyle than I have, so I assume more of a social life, I would have thought that gay friends would have been the norm. I have gay friends, Dingdells Bern's son is gay, I have gay clients.

I am just really surprised.

As for the club incident, just take your shirt off, get sweaty and have a good time - just cos its blokes dancing together whats the harm - wait till you go to a jewish wedding.

[booder]

cant believe nobody mentioned the most outrageous piece of snoopys post........."He may have stuck his fork in my food without permission ".


sorry, but camp or not, his head would have vacated his shoulder area.

[kinboshi]

I think that's the difference though.  Gay people are the same as everyone else.  Gay people in clubs are different, in the same way as hetrosexual people who go clubbing are different to everyone else. I remember going to a UK Garage night at a club and thinking that I'd stepped into a different universe.

Same thing if you go to Solihull, full of weird people with fuchsia footwear...

[boldie]

Perhaps unless they are outwardly camp your gaydar just misses them and you dont realise they are gay.

I thought only gay people had gaydar?...damn..had a nifty little gadget and didn't even know it

[tantrum]

I'm just really surprised that so many people have had little, or No in Snoopys case, interaction with Gay men. Gay men and women make up a percentage of society that we will come across in normal everyday life.

Perhaps unless they are outwardly camp your gaydar just misses them and you dont realise they are gay.

With a younger lifestyle than I have, so I assume more of a social life, I would have thought that gay friends would have been the norm. I have gay friends, Dingdells Bern's son is gay, I have gay clients.

I am just really surprised.

As for the club incident, just take your shirt off, get sweaty and have a good time - just cos its blokes dancing together whats the harm - wait till you go to a jewish wedding.

 

[KingPoker]

...damn..had a nifty little gadget and didn't even know it

It doesnt matter how big it is but u knew u must have had one- ur a bloke.

But back to the gay thing. My missus had a gay housemate (not attarctive-when i met him was so disappointed- thought he could be the one) and he was pretty much a woman in man clothes. Really feminine but the NICEST bloke i have ever met. His friend Rachel (the lesbian) was more my sort of man but there you go!
But if id gone to that meal snoop and he was doing the things you said im sorry but i would have told him to shut the fuck up and stop wanting to be the centre of attention. Coz ihave learnt whats best, getting it off your chest or holding it in and letting someone elses annoying ways affect the way you go about your life. Because i think it can be fairly easy to say that it IS the camp c*nt and the rest like him that shed negative light on homosexuality. I have no tolerance for 'gay-bashing' as it is to me one of the biggest examples of ignorance anyone can show. But if i have someone next to me who is the most annoying man i have ever met, i would have to tell him to shut the **** up you ******* annoyng ****! (whther he is gay or straight!)

  KingPoker

[Mango99]

It does seem strange to me also that Snoops and some other posters on this thread have had had little or no interaction with gay people before... Maybe it's different up north!

I used to be heavily into the rave/trance scene (still go occassionally) and used to have quite a few gay/bi friends, though as my love for trance/psytrance has waned (replaced with too much poker!), I've lost touch with most now. In Bristol the best gay club - Castro's - doesn't play Kylie crap, instead it's full on trance/hard house. Top stuff. I've had many a good night travelling from Lakota to Castro's at 6am (as it was the only place open at that crazy hour) and partying straight through until 12pm.

Getting too old for all that now though! 

About the Japenese clubbers facing the - what type of music was that? In psytrance, hard house, etc, the clubbers tend to face the wherever on the planet you are...  In clubs where they play Kylie and chart hits, I guess people tend to dance in groups more, as it's more about the 'pulling' aspect than the music itself...

[Rod Paradise]

I'm just really surprised that so many people have had little, or No in Snoopys case, interaction with Gay men. Gay men and women make up a percentage of society that we will come across in normal everyday life.

Perhaps unless they are outwardly camp your gaydar just misses them and you dont realise they are gay.

With a younger lifestyle than I have, so I assume more of a social life, I would have thought that gay friends would have been the norm. I have gay friends, Dingdells Bern's son is gay, I have gay clients.

I am just really surprised.

As for the club incident, just take your shirt off, get sweaty and have a good time - just cos its blokes dancing together whats the harm - wait till you go to a jewish wedding.

Funny enough a gay couple ran one of the pubs in my home town and were treated the same as everyone else. I was in digs run by a gay man & the girl in the room next door was a lesbian.... BUT that didn't prepare me for the shock of a gay club. I don't mean they were being shocking, I mean more the feeling of being off 'my territory' and in theirs.

Risk of being shouted at for lowering the tone... but I'd not be TOO surprised at you having gay clients Dingdell, considering what you do...

[AndrewT]

I'm just really surprised that so many people have had little, or No in Snoopys case, interaction with Gay men. Gay men and women make up a percentage of society that we will come across in normal everyday life.

Perhaps unless they are outwardly camp your gaydar just misses them and you dont realise they are gay.

I think a lot of people come from a 'traditional', working class background (maybe small town, as opposed to big city) - an environment in which homosexuality is much more likely to be frowned upon. Someone growing up gay in this situation is more likely to leave the area and move to a big city, where there is more of a gay scene.

Therefore, someone who grows up in a small town and stays there (doesn't go away to university or move to big city) may find that the local homosexuals either keep themselves to themselves and don't come out (for fear of retribution) or move away, so they are far less likely to be exposed to gay culture.

There's a very good reason why TV and music are filled with prominent gays, but there is currently a total of zero out, gay footballers. Environment is a huge influence.

[theswan]

I agree with what most people on here have said...In that I think it is more just a  case of being in unfamiliar territory, as apposed to being a homophobe. To venture out of your comfort zone and into another culture entirely can be a scary thing.
You naturally feel like an outsider, and it's normal to be freaked out especially the first time. If you were a homophobe you wouldn't even have contemplated going to G.A.Y, the fact that you did tells me you are confident in your own sexuality and open minded enough to try stuff (Not THAT kinda stuff  ), just  obviously haven't had much exposure to the seedy 'Meat Market' side of the gay scene.
As for the annoying camp guy, well there are a lot of them...But then I don't tend to get on with those types of personalities anyway, so it could be an OTT loud straight woman, or an overpowering straight bloke who feels the need to be the centre of attention etc....Basically, just because you don't like that sort of person doesn't mean you're a homophobe.

One last point..Remember, the reason there is a gay scene is.. in part ..because a lot of gay people feel uncomfortable going out and being themselves on the straight scene, just as heterosexual people sometimes feel when they're in a gay bar....It's a shame, because in my opinion, in a perfect world...there wouldn't be the need for a 'scene' as such..and we could all integrate etc...Until the day comes where I can casually kiss my girlfriend in the local pub...like many hetero couples do....or hold hands walking down the street and not get funny looks and the odd ignorant comment directed my way...then the divide will always be there....That said, things are getting better, the stereotypes are being broken down..and society in general is becoming more open.....but we still have some way to go.

[boldie]

I agree with what most people on here have said...In that I think it is more just a  case of being in unfamiliar territory, as apposed to being a homophobe. To venture out of your comfort zone and into another culture entirely can be a scary thing.
You naturally feel like an outsider, and it's normal to be freaked out especially the first time. If you were a homophobe you wouldn't even have contemplated going to G.A.Y, the fact that you did tells me you are confident in your own sexuality and open minded enough to try stuff (Not THAT kinda stuff  ), just  obviously haven't had much exposure to the seedy 'Meat Market' side of the gay scene.
As for the annoying camp guy, well there are a lot of them...But then I don't tend to get on with those types of personalities anyway, so it could be an OTT loud straight woman, or an overpowering straight bloke who feels the need to be the centre of attention etc....Basically, just because you don't like that sort of person doesn't mean you're a homophobe.

One last point..Remember, the reason there is a gay scene is.. in part ..because a lot of gay people feel uncomfortable going out and being themselves on the straight scene, just as heterosexual people sometimes feel when they're in a gay bar....It's a shame, because in my opinion, in a perfect world...there wouldn't be the need for a 'scene' as such..and we could all integrate etc...Until the day comes where I can casually kiss my girlfriend in the local pub...like many hetero couples do....or hold hands walking down the street and not get funny looks and the odd ignorant comment directed my way...then the divide will always be there....That said, things are getting better, the stereotypes are being broken down..and society in general is becoming more open.....but we still have some way to go.

Wow Swan...a few more comma's in the second paragraph and I would have thought  you were SofaKing

[theswan]

Wow Swan...a few more comma's in the second paragraph and I would have thought  you were SofaKing
[/quote]



Well Boldie, I'm fairly new on here so can't say I'm familiar with SofaKing or his 'work' ..So not sure if I should be offended or take it as a compliment!