What would u do? (lending $$$ to a poker friend)

[Mango99]

1) I could hire someone to take care of it!
2) I could cause trouble for my "friend"
3) I could just forget about it!

The reason I posted the question is that this "friend" had duped  me and I thought I could get some simple advice and start a discussion about loaning money to friends !

If someone learns from my mistake I would be happy to know that I helped someone else avoid something that really sucks. Its not just about the $$$$ either, it sucks that he would win $52K and not even think of paying me back!

1 and 2.
They guy's no friend, probably had something to do with your room being broken into. If he was that desperate for money I wouldn't put it past him.

Some tough-looking guys approached me in the casino and had heard third-party about the money I'm owed. I was offered option 1 above for half of the debt cost. e.g. I would get £1,500, the guys collecting the cash would get £1,500.

However, it all sounded a bit dodgy to me, and not sure if it's something I want to get involved in...

[fearisthekey]

1) I could hire someone to take care of it!
2) I could cause trouble for my "friend"
3) I could just forget about it!

The reason I posted the question is that this "friend" had duped  me and I thought I could get some simple advice and start a discussion about loaning money to friends !

If someone learns from my mistake I would be happy to know that I helped someone else avoid something that really sucks. Its not just about the $$$$ either, it sucks that he would win $52K and not even think of paying me back!

1 and 2.
They guy's no friend, probably had something to do with your room being broken into. If he was that desperate for money I wouldn't put it past him.

Some tough-looking guys approached me in the casino and had heard third-party about the money I'm owed. I was offered option 1 above for half of the debt cost. e.g. I would get £1,500, the guys collecting the cash would get £1,500.

However, it all sounded a bit dodgy to me, and not sure if it's something I want to get involved in...

for sure. prison food tastes pretty lousy these days I hear.

[Mango99]

1) I could hire someone to take care of it!
2) I could cause trouble for my "friend"
3) I could just forget about it!

The reason I posted the question is that this "friend" had duped  me and I thought I could get some simple advice and start a discussion about loaning money to friends !

If someone learns from my mistake I would be happy to know that I helped someone else avoid something that really sucks. Its not just about the $$$$ either, it sucks that he would win $52K and not even think of paying me back!

1 and 2.
They guy's no friend, probably had something to do with your room being broken into. If he was that desperate for money I wouldn't put it past him.

Some tough-looking guys approached me in the casino and had heard third-party about the money I'm owed. I was offered option 1 above for half of the debt cost. e.g. I would get £1,500, the guys collecting the cash would get £1,500.

However, it all sounded a bit dodgy to me, and not sure if it's something I want to get involved in...

for sure. prison food tastes pretty lousy these days I hear.

Prison for who? Paying someone to collect a debt isn't an imprisonable offence afaik, or is it?. By dodgy I mean they said "don't worry we'll get that money for you. He will pay. 100% guaranteed". They didn't say what methods or tactics were going to be used. It could just be gentle persuasion?

[fearisthekey]

1) I could hire someone to take care of it!
2) I could cause trouble for my "friend"
3) I could just forget about it!

The reason I posted the question is that this "friend" had duped  me and I thought I could get some simple advice and start a discussion about loaning money to friends !

If someone learns from my mistake I would be happy to know that I helped someone else avoid something that really sucks. Its not just about the $$$$ either, it sucks that he would win $52K and not even think of paying me back!

1 and 2.
They guy's no friend, probably had something to do with your room being broken into. If he was that desperate for money I wouldn't put it past him.

Some tough-looking guys approached me in the casino and had heard third-party about the money I'm owed. I was offered option 1 above for half of the debt cost. e.g. I would get £1,500, the guys collecting the cash would get £1,500.

However, it all sounded a bit dodgy to me, and not sure if it's something I want to get involved in...

for sure. prison food tastes pretty lousy these days I hear.

Prison for who? Paying someone to collect a debt isn't an imprisonable offence afaik, or is it?. By dodgy I mean they said "don't worry we'll get that money for you. He will pay. 100% guaranteed". They didn't say what methods or tactics were going to be used. It could just be gentle persuasion?

Probably is. Probably they get Carol Vordermann to visit them, have a nice cup of tea, and discuss together a long term low interest repayment plan that best suits the circumstances of both parties.
Or maybe some of this:

 

I've never been on the receiving end of these guys, so I have no way of knowing. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions when I noticed that they all seem to be huge guys. I did meet one of them once, an ex-bouncer. He had no neck, 3 teeth, and a tatoo on each hand, one said 'H.A.T.E' and the other said 'H.A.T.E'. I don't know what methods he employed, must have used the gentle art of persuasion.

[Mango99]

1) I could hire someone to take care of it!
2) I could cause trouble for my "friend"
3) I could just forget about it!

The reason I posted the question is that this "friend" had duped  me and I thought I could get some simple advice and start a discussion about loaning money to friends !

If someone learns from my mistake I would be happy to know that I helped someone else avoid something that really sucks. Its not just about the $$$$ either, it sucks that he would win $52K and not even think of paying me back!

1 and 2.
They guy's no friend, probably had something to do with your room being broken into. If he was that desperate for money I wouldn't put it past him.

Some tough-looking guys approached me in the casino and had heard third-party about the money I'm owed. I was offered option 1 above for half of the debt cost. e.g. I would get £1,500, the guys collecting the cash would get £1,500.

However, it all sounded a bit dodgy to me, and not sure if it's something I want to get involved in...

for sure. prison food tastes pretty lousy these days I hear.

Prison for who? Paying someone to collect a debt isn't an imprisonable offence afaik, or is it?. By dodgy I mean they said "don't worry we'll get that money for you. He will pay. 100% guaranteed". They didn't say what methods or tactics were going to be used. It could just be gentle persuasion?

Probably is. Probably they get Carol Vordermann to visit them, have a nice cup of tea, and discuss together a long term low interest repayment plan that best suits the circumstances of both parties.
Or maybe some of this:

 

I've never been on the receiving end of these guys, so I have no way of knowing. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions when I noticed that they all seem to be huge guys. I did meet one of them once, an ex-bouncer. He had no neck, 3 teeth, and a tatoo on each hand, one said 'H.A.T.E' and the other said 'H.A.T.E'. I don't know what methods he employed, must have used the gentle art of persuasion.

lmao good point I guess I should just contact a solicitor and do the whole thing 100% kosher. It isn't something I feel I can just forget about though. It's not so much the money (though that is irksome in itself) as the principle. and the fact that someone can cash $100k in a tourney, and not offer to pay back £3k he owes.

[stewart]

as someone who myself have been on either end of this brian i have owed upwards of £5k and been owed upwards of £5k i know what you must be going threw with this guy,  but my advice is a little diffrent to above i can understand why you are pissed off at this guy winning $52 in a comp and not paying you back but he will owe alot of pepole and also have alot of depts at home maybe things he HAD to pay where as you are not someone he feels he HAS to pay back quickly i dont know the guy but that is the way it works in alot of situations the best thing to do is not to lend or borrow but sometimes you have no choice but to if it has been a really bad night,  i think takeing it to a dept collector could have major problems for you he will pay you back most likely but it wouldnt stop there i have taken this route with a dept in the past i sold a £1k dept for £700 and they collected the £1k of the guy in small installments but it causes tension when you see this person and depending who they are it can backfire on you

i would presonally call the person most likely he wont answer his phone to you and leave a nice message offer him your support if you feel he is a genuinely good tournyment player tell him you will sponsor him into a couple of small events and see if he can make you something back in that way try offering him a way out he will be feeling terrible about it inside but he may also of had $20k here or $10k there is could of paid you back but felt he couldnt pay you in small chunks explaine that you will accept that, and also try and set a meet up if he gets back to you then you can talk threw ways around the situation explaine that you dont want to take the bad dept route but you may have to as you are in a bad position yourself or something like that, just try and help him threw it rather than jumping on him if you do that you wont see him for dust

hope it helps   
stu

[stewart]

also all gambling depts are non inforceable, ive had it done to me for a little less but told basicly to go **** myself if i think im getting a penny back, i got it all back but that isnt the point dont push it that far that he move away new life new pals to borrow off it could and does happen lol

[iceman]

i tried to make a point here earlier and i really should take far more time in conveying my point as i believe im much (or the attitude im trying to get across is much misunderstood),so here goes,In the long run were all at some stage  taken,i reckon how you deal with it is far more important than any recompense you ,may recieve whatevever way of remuneration if any is open to you or not as the case may be. im far more worried with how i deal with this,this was a
trusted and obviously valued friend-what likeness would you compare that  u would hurt so much you would choose to publicly denegrate because poker is a very closed community and who u know i know. so if your wife husband had BETRAYED you or similar would you chose to to disclose this would be known,are we really here for this , i dont think so.

Comparing unpaid debt to marital betrayal is bit overdramatic.

wsopin07 hasn't done anything wrong so why having a dig at him?

i think you should read again what ive wrote and maybe youll understand that what im trying to do is  convey the idea that keeping a situation like this private, will in the long run be far more rewarding and character building than anything else achievable by this type of thread. which i feel is as ive already said i dont you can prewarn over, obviously some disagre. so i see it mostly as being vindictive and im trying to make the point that i feel youd be better off not behaving in that manner.

ive had a few pms with brian on this subject and im very sure he doesnt feel that ive had a dig at him

[tikay]

Hi Brian,

Sorry Bud, I've had a bad run lately. Can we play Heads up, double or quits, for it?

[wsopin07]

Hi Brian,

Sorry Bud, I've had a bad run lately. Can we play Heads up, double or quits, for it?

only if u have Flushy sit behind u and give u "help"

[tikay]

Seriously the answer is simple Brian. Don't lend folks money to gamble. I know, you are a good, kind-hearted , & soft guy, but it only leads to grief.

I made the same mistake several times, & it's tough when they spin the sob story. I've written off a bundle of money loaned to poker players. At least, by not getting the money back, you have closed their credit line!

JUST SAY NO.

The amount of folks in poker who live off nipping is amazing, & there are big, "household" names, big winners (and, long-term losers), amongst them.

Just don't get involved, & don't get screwed up if somone has lifted your leg. Life's too short.

[wsopin07]

Seriously the answer is simple Brian. Don't lend folks money to gamble. I know, you are a good, kind-hearted , & soft guy, but it only leads to grief.

I made the same mistake several times, & it's tough when they spin the sob story. I've written off a bundle of money loaned to poker players. At least, by not getting the money back, you have closed their credit line!

JUST SAY NO.

The amount of folks in poker who live off nipping is amazing, & there are big, "household" names, big winners (and, long-term losers), amongst them.

Just don't get involved, & don't get screwed up if somone has lifted your leg. Life's too short.

    I just need to look to the elderly in the crowd for the best advice

[Royal Flush]

Hi Brian,

Sorry Bud, I've had a bad run lately. Can we play Heads up, double or quits, for it?

only if u have Flushy sit behind u and give u "help"

Sigh

[tantrum]

[/quote] i think you should read again what ive wrote and maybe youll understand that what im trying to do is  convey the idea that keeping a situation like this private, will in the long run be far more rewarding and character building than anything else achievable by this type of thread. which i feel is as ive already said i dont you can prewarn over, obviously some disagre. so i see it mostly as being vindictive and im trying to make the point that i feel youd be better off not behaving in that manner.

ive had a few pms with brian on this subject and im very sure he doesnt feel that ive had a dig at him
[/quote]

Sorry, but what do you see as being vindictive - mine or his behaviour? 

Either way, suggesting on a public forum that the author of the post needs to work on his/her character and implying that his/her behaviour was vindictive is very classy indeed;)

[iceman]

i

i think you should read again what ive wrote and maybe youll understand that what im trying to do is  convey the idea that keeping a situation like this private, will in the long run be far more rewarding and character building than anything else achievable by this type of thread. which i feel is as ive already said i dont you can prewarn over, obviously some disagre. so i see it mostly as being vindictive and im trying to make the point that i feel youd be better off not behaving in that manner.

ive had a few pms with brian on this subject and im very sure he doesnt feel that ive had a dig at him
[/quote]

Sorry, but what do you see as being vindictive - mine or his behaviour? 

Either way, suggesting on a public forum that the author of the post needs to work on his/her character and implying that his/her behaviour was vindictive is very classy indeed;)

[/quote]

as i dont know you and the only thing i could have and was replying to was to was your 1st post im confused as to why you may think i was referring to your post as being vindictive. what ive tried and obviously failed to suggest (without any intent on besmirching anyones character) is that taking an over view in these situations and rising above them whilst dealing with it on a personal level is far more rewarding to the injured party in the long term than making it a public issue. im now very aware that few seem to agree with me.

perhaps theres a certain amount of things getting lost in tranalation? take your last post for example-the last line you say how classy my behaviour has been in what i take to be an ironic fashion. though as i say from my point of view ive only had the intent to assist and not be critical. so i find myself feeling misunderstood and possibly maligned unfairly but im sure you see me in a far different light ; )