Vegas & The Aftermath - Diary

[bhoywonder]

classy writing

and engrossing as ever


did we catch your handicap tony?

[tikay]

Heaven knows how I ever go to be Captain of Royal Ormonde. My first ever round there was with a dear friend of long standing in business, & he was also Chairman of the Club - a serious Suit in Golf hierarchy.

So we are marching up the 2nd, making small talk, & I ask him about his Family, in particular, his Son, about whom he spoke a lot.

And I must have misheard him, because I was SURE he said his Son was "artistic", so I asked whether he painted, did sculptures, or what.

"No, he's autistic" he replied.

"Oh yes, I realise that, I just wondered if he was an artistic autistic" I hastily added, impressively digging my hole even deeper. How he ever gave the nod for my Captain-ship after that start is a complete mystery.

"5 wood or 3 Iron here for my next shot?" I add quickly. A change of subject is my default tactic in these situations.

[tikay]

classy writing

and engrossing as ever


did we catch your handicap tony?

No, I never mentioned it.......

[bhoywonder]

classy writing

and engrossing as ever


did we catch your handicap tony?

No, I never mentioned it.......

ok..understood.....























FORRRRRRRRREE

[tikay]

Right, I gotta go shower & do some research for tonight's Show.

More later, I hope. I've just booked a room at the Saint Giles Hotel, in Feltham, for tonight, so that's saved me a long drive home tonight when I'm a bit under the weather.

[tikay]

classy writing

and engrossing as ever


did we catch your handicap tony?

No, I never mentioned it.......

ok..understood.....























FORRRRRRRRREE

Believe me, NOWHERE is safe when I tee off.

Did you know that it's almost impossible to get out of bounds on the first at St Andrews Old Course? I managed it, though. Twice.

I "heeled" a drive so badly once, the ball went between my legs & hit a guy stood behind me.

When I approached the Tee, folks would stand in the middle of the Fairway, dead ahead of me. It was, they claimed, the only safe place.

[Dingdell]

...but before I do Volume 2 of Slow-Mo's War & Peace opus, the last week.

dtd last Sunday night, busted out of the £100 early, & played Cash, notably with the cash-game Legend Kim Costa, surely there are few better cash-game companions than Kim. He did me a huge personal favour during the game, for which I thank him.

In bed by 6, up by Noon on Monday, drove down to Luton Days Inn Hotel, a sort of halfway-house for me en route to Feltham, where I had a meeting early On Tuesday, so I thought I'd get a head-start on the drive. Worked all afternoon, did not even go to Luton G in the evening, I was too tired, & I had to be up bright & early on Tuesday for the Feltham Meet. Which then got postponed until Friday......

Went to Feltham Tuesday, did the Show in the Evening, done just after midnight, & was due back in the Studio by 10am on the Wednesday. But I cocked-up my hotel arrangements, & had to drive back up to Luton overnight, & back down for 10am the next morning, like a daft bugger. And of course, on Wednesday morning, the traffic was horrific, & I was late, the first time I've ever been late for a Sky gig. I was not a happy chappie.

We were in the Studio all day, from 11am to 5pm, doing a rehearsal for a brand new Show - we hope, if it get's approved - with Norman Pace, who was most unwell, but he soldiered on. (He's now gone down with bad bronchitis, & let's hope he soon recovers), & I drove home afterwards, but could not resist playing the Luton Tourney (badly) on the way home, getting home eventually at 4am Thursday.

Due to play The Broadway £500 Thursday night, I booked into The Birmingham Marriott Thursday afternoon, but became a little unwell, & although I played the £500, my heart was not in it. In bed by 0230am, & due to leave Birmingham at 8am Friday, for an 11am meet in Feltham, (I booked it early deliberately, so I could get back to The Broadway for Day Two of the £500 - there's optimism for you...) but I could not get out of bed, I just felt terrible, & it was 10am before I left Birmingham via the M40, & I was late again for my Sky meet, twice in 2 days, sheesh.....

The meeting went terrific, we discussed all sorts, including a new role for me at Sky, & I was fired up with enthusiasm & adrenelin after it ended at 4pm. But I can't drive home from Feltham to Derbyshire mid Friday afternoon - M25, M40, A43 & M1 on a Friday afternoon? - no chance! So I decided to stay in the Feltham Office & get some writing done. Then I saw that there was a nice £100-er at Luton at 8.30pm. Well, that would be plain stupid, especially as I planned to go to Blackpool on Saturday, which would entail leaving home at Noon on Saturday. So, Luton was deffo a no-no.

Anyway, I ended up chopping the Luton Comp, left Luton at 0600, got home at 0800, in bed by 0830, up at Noon, & straight on the road to Blackpool, nearly 3 hours North for me.

Was unwell again, & eventually busted at 1am, & was home in Derbyshire & in bed by 4am this morning.

Left home 1pm today, & I'm in Feltham now, ready for tonight's Show, & I'm gonna find a Hotel & stay over, I'm a bit tired & off-colour, & can't face the drive home tonight. I'll work in the office all day tomorrow (Feltham) & then go home - via Luton, I fancy.....

I also need to pop down to Brighton on business one day this week, so I might do that Tuesday. And it's the dtd 3-2-1 next weekend, that'll be huge fun.

I run so damn good it's unbelievable.

I'd really like to play a bit of golf again, but time is the problem, but I'd love to have a round with Slow-Mo, bookiebasher, Karabiner, with Tom (who does not play Golf I don't think) there as Nature observer. That'd be so lovely. I've added it to my wish-list.

It really is a mystery why you're not feeling so good....

Just seen the trailer for a film called 'bucket' or something similar about two men who are terminally ill and have a list of things they want to do before they kick the bucket. They go off on adventures ticking off everything in their list.

From what I hear you must be ticking off some of those things Tony, but encouraging you are still putting things in. Just make sure you are well enough to enjoy them.

This is a message from your local health advisor. Eat green stuff, expecially asparagus, drink plain water and get enough sleep.    

[tikay]

I googled "winter vitrus", & read up on it, as I feel so shite.

It's generally claimed 5,000,000 - 5 MILLION - folks have had it this year. Well, that's sounded like utter tosh to me, when I asked myself "do I believe that?".

So I delved deeper, "drilled down" in the vernacular, & discovered how the figure of 5 million was arrived at by the Department of Health.

1,851 people were diagnosed by GP's as having "winter virus" this winter.  That's 1,851, not 5,000,000. So where does the 5 mill figure come from?

Easy.

The Department of Health estimate that for every person who visits their quack & gets diagnosed as having Winter Virus, another 2,702 - you got that, 2,702? (note the two) don't visit the quack. So they extrapulate the numbers, & hey presto, 5 million it is. They then pass that on to the stupid, gullible, idiotic Press, & they print that tosh, expecting us to believe what we read.

That's forecasting to a fine degree, eh? 2,702, ffs.

[bhoywonder]

rofl

now that is funny.....

I was seriously expecting a single figure there


welcome to the hacker's club.....lol

im a lifelong member

and I like yourself was also struck by a speeding golfball,at a course in Lanarkshire from this sorry looking bloke who must have re-defined the laws of physics with one swing of his club.....

as his ball traversed 2 fairways at an angle of exactly 90 degrees to which he was originally aiming....said ball struck me on the wrist and within minutes the lump had actually began to resemble an  errrrrrrr  golfball...no permanent damage though...


come to think of it

there was an English club up on an outing that day....nah couldn't be...could it!!!!

[slowmo]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm afraid that either Tikay's tiredness or his illness has affected his ability to accurately remember the most basic of facts.  Maybe its something to do with AGE. Either way I am not one to get in the way of a good story and other people's entertainment even if not wholly accurate,  so I shall hold my peace for now but soon I will put the record straight. One cant deny its a good read after all. The man can definitely write. Currently consulting with my lawyer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bhoywonder]

I googled "winter vitrus", & read up on it, as I feel so shite.

It's generally claimed 5,000,000 - 5 MILLION - folks have had it this year. Well, that's sounded like utter tosh to me, when I asked myself "do I believe that?".

So I delved deeper, "drilled down" in the vernacular, & discovered how the figure of 5 million was arrived at by the Department of Health.

1,851 people were diagnosed by GP's as having "winter virus" this winter.  That's 1,851, not 5,000,000. So where does the 5 mill figure come from?

Easy.

The Department of Health estimate that for every person who visits their quack & gets diagnosed as having Winter Virus, another 2,702 - you got that, 2,702? (note the two) don't visit the quack. So they extrapulate the numbers, & hey presto, 5 million it is. They then pass that on to the stupid, gullible, idiotic Press, & they print that tosh, expecting us to believe what we read.

That's forecasting to a fine degree, eh? 2,702, ffs.

I don't care what they say

im going to the quacks 2morro

i feel like shit and have done since last tuesday

better not give me that burden on society crap this time,Ive lost half a stone and am in top arguing form....


well maybe not...but I do feel awful

[tikay]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm afraid that either Tikay's tiredness or his illness has affected his ability to accurately remember the most basic of facts.  Maybe its something to do with AGE. Either way I am not one to get in the way of a good story and other people's entertainment even if not wholly accurate,  so I shall hold my peace for now but soon I will put the record straight. One cant deny its a good read after all. The man can definitely write. Currently consulting with my lawyer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Simon,

Well I just hope I have not besmirched your character in any way. I mean, that'd take some doing.

And to save on Legal Fees, wait until I've done the Spreads Betting & the Poker bit. You can get a discount for three jobs in one.

[tikay]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm afraid that either Tikay's tiredness or his illness has affected his ability to accurately remember the most basic of facts.  Maybe its something to do with AGE. Either way I am not one to get in the way of a good story and other people's entertainment even if not wholly accurate,  so I shall hold my peace for now but soon I will put the record straight. One cant deny its a good read after all. The man can definitely write. Currently consulting with my lawyer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahh, I remermber now - it was the 6th hole, not the 7th?

[tikay]

Just met tonight's two Guests, both athletic chappies. One of them is John Regis - that's John Regis MBE - wow, he's HUGE.

Nice bloke though. I said I could guess his profession by his physique. "Go on then" he says". "Watchmender" I say. Not sure he was best amused. "Librarian?". "Accountant?".

Should be good craic on the Show, what a top bloke he is. Was his brother the guy who did Gladiators, played for QPR &/or Wimbledon? Don't worry, I'll ask him.

[RED-DOG]

I'm not in the least bit surprised that tikay's feeling ill, he doesn't give himself a chance.

He told me at the Broadway how poorly he was feeling. He looked like a horse that had been ridden hard and then put away wet.

Then he rings me the next day.

"Where are you?" I ask, "Are you at home in bed?"

"No, I'm at Luton..."

Next day

"Where are you"

"I'm just pulling into the car park at blackpool...."

I've given up nagging him. I'm starting to sound like a Jewish mother. I'm going ton turn Mrs Red loose on him. She won't stand for any of his shenanigans. She'll give him a good hiding.