DTD trip report ...ish !!

[Maddog]

Glad your ok Kev, now where can I get a copy of that book ?

[Colchester Kev]

The book is available to every man in a relationship, it is found at the back of your mind, under the section marked "lessons learned during a lifetime)

[boldie]

btw Kev..ITB is looking to buy a cheap car..you wouldn't have one you could sell him, do you?

[Colchester Kev]

Cheers to everyone for their nice messages etc ..

As promised here is the aftermath story.

Its Now past midnight on a Saturday night and the recovery truck is loading the dead car on the back of the loader ... its not a problem, we have fully comp insurance, i will just get them to take me to Nottingham and they can drop a courtesy car off on Sunday at DTD and i can drive that home and wait for the car to get fixed or written off and then we can go from there ... simple, right ??  .... WRONG !!!

it transpires that if i had broken down, or been involved in an accident with another car, no problem, all the above would be fulfilled. But as it was an accident with no one else involved the policy is .. Fuck off Mr Shepherd, we are gonna transport the car to the nearest drop off garage and its up to you what you do from here ... WHAT !! I have just escaped unscathed from a nasty smash, i am a bit shaken up and in a bit of shock and these morons want to just leave me at the side of a fkin road in the middle of nowhere .. fantastic.

Mr Recovery vehicle driver says that its bollox and will run me into Northampton and he will try and find me a hotel at least ... he gets on to his office and tells them to phone my insurance company and tell them that if they authorise the mileage payments he will take me and the car back to Portsmouth ... the insurance company decline saying that procedure needs to be followed ... thankyou Hastings Direct, you are a shower of shit and we wont be bothering you with any more business after this is all sorted out.

So off we go into Northampton, the nice man from the recovery firm drives me around for ages stopping off at every hotel and guest house that he knows of ... no room at the inn... fk me, its the Christmas nativity play in real life going on here !! ... Meanwhile Jane has been busy trying to find ways to get me home and we find the first train from Northampton to start the trek back to Portsmouth leaves at 06.45 AM ... well its now 1am and im clueless as to what to do now. I have no bags, i just took a change of clothes with me for the Sunday and just had them on the back seat ... but now I have to take all the personal possessions out of the car and carry them all bloody night ... I manage to find a carrier bag, and the nice recovery man finds a box and I empty out the car as best i can ... and laden down with my booty I am stood outside a lock up compound wondering WTF I am going to do until 6.45 when i can get  a train.

Suddenly I have a brain wave ... A casino .. I have my passport with me (needed it to get in DTD) so I can join the Northampton Casino, stay in there until 6am and the onto the train station for the first train out.

Laden down with my bag and box I get to the casino and join up .. ahhhhhh finally, warmth and a chance to get a coffee a sarnie and chill for a few hours before escaping and heading home... all was going well and at 10 to 6 i left casino for the Train station ..... I go to ticket machine at the station and purchase my ticket to Portsmouth ... Itinerary as follows..

Northampton - London Euston
London Euston - Waterloo (tube)
Waterloo - Portsmouth

bit of a ball ache with a big box and a carrier bag, but hey ho... i will be home by lunch time.... WRONG !!!

The 06.45 train now transpired to be a coach due to engineering works on the line ... fkin neverends !!  i board the coach and ask the driver what time we are expected in Euston ... "9.40am " was the reply ... I couldnt help laughing, 3 hours to get from Northampton to London , I could bloody walk quicker !

finally we get to Euston and i struggle off the bus and onto the underground with my baggage, not too bad, a pain free journey and i am at Waterloo... just in time to dash for the 11am train to Portsmouth ... I make it and settle in my seat for the last leg of my journey home, nothing can go wrong now can it, everything will be fne and i will soon be hoe right ? .... WRONG !!

the heavens open and it is pissing down with rain, you cant even see out of the train windows the rain is lashing them that hard ... we get to Guildford and the announcement comes after sitting in Guildford train station for about 5 minutes ... "Due to a fallen tree on the line we are likely to be delayed here for a while, we will let yu know as soon as possible when we get more details"  ... 20 mins later .... "There has been ANOTHER fallen tree on the line and this train will terminate here, please see station staff for further details" .. OH THANK YOU GOD, save me from a car crash and then give me the journey from hell home afterwards..

I get off the train still laden down with my baggage and strop off for a smoke outside the station, I cant be arsed to speak to anyone and I pray that no one speaks to me or i will most likely bite their heads off .... I am listening out for announcements and quite honestly starting to lose the will to live .. I am tired, cold wet and fkin miserable now, and no end to the nightmare in sight..

suddenly about 90 minutes after arriving in Guildford, the announcement comes that the line was clear and in 15 minutes a train will leave for Portsmouth .. HOORAYYYY ... by now every man and his frigging dog has turned up and decided they want to travel to Portsmouth, so the train is jam packed and me and my baggage dont have a seat .. oh marvellous !! I find a space in the lobby by the doors and thats where i stay until the train reaches Portsmouth  ....

I have a nice hot cuppa awaiting me when I get in and a big hug ... amazing how these things kind of wash away all the pain of the previous 24 hours, there is no better medicine than a brew and a hug to make everything alright in the world.

So, that sums it up really.... what have i learnt from this ??

Check your insurance policy with a fine tooth comb, find out exactly what you are entitled to in the event of the same thing happening, oh yeah, CANCEL HASTINGS DIRECT, and remember to throw a brick at the TV next time that annoying little twat comes on, you know.. "JUST GIVE HASTINGS A CALL ... 0800 double 0 ten sixty six"

But most of all at the end of the day, i walked away ... I am telling the tale ... I am thankfull for that, and if the pain of getting home was the price i had to pay, then pay it I did ... ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

[TightEnd]

Motor Insurance companies.....   that sounds horrendous customer service

Hope you rescued The Verve CD..priorities!!!

Sorry for chuckling through the train part of the story, lol what a mood you must have been in!

[Jon MW]

Message to Ginger: I'm glad Kev's OK.

Message to Kev:  You muppet! Get in car - drive from A to B, it's not that complicated is it?
                         Not. Get in car, drive from A to ?, then go back to A via C, D and E.

And this -

... ... thankyou Hastings Direct, you are a shower of shit and we wont be bothering you with any more business after this is all sorted out....

did remind me of a conversation I had with you a while ago where I may have suggested that my former employers weren't the best of bets to have your insurance with.

It's a shame you missed out, hopefully you'll manage to actually make it to DtD next time.

[Ginger]

The Verve CD is still in the auto changer  can't trust a man to remember the important things...

The saga doesn't end there, it just keeps getting worse. Yesterday when I called to find out about removing the stereo/auto changer from the boot and all the other stuff still left behind they informed me that they didn't actually know where my car was!

Neverends!

[TightEnd]

The Verve CD is still in the auto changer  can't trust a man to remember the important things...

The saga doesn't end there, it just keeps getting worse. Yesterday when I called to find out about removing the stereo/auto changer from the boot and all the other stuff still left behind they informed me that they didn't actually know where my car was!

Neverends!

I'd call it quits, the pink steering wheel cover should be given a ceremonial burial though

[Ginger]

OI, it was my girly car and I will have as much girly pink in it as I want!

Funny though, he did remove the keys from the fluffy pink teddy keyring and pull off the pink seat belt covers before he left, I think he jinxed it!

[boldie]

The Verve CD is still in the auto changer  can't trust a man to remember the important things...

The saga doesn't end there, it just keeps getting worse. Yesterday when I called to find out about removing the stereo/auto changer from the boot and all the other stuff still left behind they informed me that they didn't actually know where my car was!

Neverends!

you should just have been a good girl and go to Sheila's wheels or Diamond or something

[Harmony26]

What an horrendous ordeal, Kev.  So sorry to hear of all of this  (have had experience of writing a car off on a dual-carriageway at night, in rain, by self, due to other stupid lying, noninsured drivers - but none of it was as traumatic as this accident and subsequent journey home). Tis amazing how quickly one can remove oneself from a damaged car straddling lanes on a busy road.

We are so sorry you didn't make it to DtD (the pair of you) but very relieved that you are safe and uninjured.

Take care all of you.

B&H

[taximan007]

Go away for the weekend to play poker.

Dont get to play any poker.

Still come back with a "Bad Beat" story 

Just to say once again, Glad you are ok

[77dave]

Are you at Luton this week Kev for the festival??

How are you getting there??

[boldie]

Are you at Luton this week Kev for the festival??

How are you getting there??

you asking him for a lift?

[Laxie]

Timothy's asked me to pass on a message.  He's thinking of getting a new car and wondered if you'd consider being his crash test dummy...just to be sure the car is safe and all.