Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[RED-DOG]

On a totally unrelated subject to anything recently seen on this thread 

Which would you consider to be the most and least likely to cause danger to yourself and/or others?

a) Driving at 80 mph along a motorway after 3 pints of lager and slightly over the legal drink driving limit and looking at a convertible Mazda MX-5 as it goes past you

b) Driving at 80mph along a motorway whilst totally sober and taking a picture of a convertible Mazda MX-5 as it goes past you

c) Driving at 80 mph along a motorway whilst on a mobile phone and not noticing a Mazda MX-5 as it goes past you because you are actually looking forwards.

To add a bit of spice also consider the above whilst the outside temperature is below freezing so that there is a possibility of occasional ice patches.

I think I'm safe asking this today is I assume Kin is still too busy with his new bird to give his opinion on the subject.

You're just trying to turn something beautiful into something cheap and sordid.

[EvilPie]

On a totally unrelated subject to anything recently seen on this thread 

Which would you consider to be the most and least likely to cause danger to yourself and/or others?

a) Driving at 80 mph along a motorway after 3 pints of lager and slightly over the legal drink driving limit and looking at a convertible Mazda MX-5 as it goes past you

b) Driving at 80mph along a motorway whilst totally sober and taking a picture of a convertible Mazda MX-5 as it goes past you

c) Driving at 80 mph along a motorway whilst on a mobile phone and not noticing a Mazda MX-5 as it goes past you because you are actually looking forwards.

To add a bit of spice also consider the above whilst the outside temperature is below freezing so that there is a possibility of occasional ice patches.

I think I'm safe asking this today is I assume Kin is still too busy with his new bird to give his opinion on the subject.

You're just trying to turn something beautiful into something cheap and sordid.

Sorry. Didn't mean to mention Kin.

You killed that pesky rodent yet?

[RED-DOG]

You killed that pesky rodent yet?[/b]

No, but I think the gas is definitely having an effect......

[faireycakes]

I think the reason they are able to keep the roof down in those temperateurs is due to the excessive amount of heaters, They started putting some sort of scarf heater things into convertible a couple of years ago which basically give you a blanket of warm air around your neck.
This enables you to look like a right tool while driving.
I guess this means that she would only get a cold head but im sure her fur skinned animal carcass would have stopped that problem.

[RED-DOG]

Bloody Nora! It's bleedin taters here.

[RED-DOG]

It's enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

The origin and true meaning of this phrase is actually totally unrelated to any form of animal or its testicles. Back in time to the period of the Napoleonic War, the great gunships of this time carried many cannons on various gun decks. As an efficient method of storage and delivery of cannon balls to the cannon for firing, a "Monkey" (this term is used to define a table and/ or a rail) made of brass was used to hold the balls. In very cold temperatures the brass would contract or even break thus allowing the cannon balls to roll off the Monkey onto the gun deck. Hence the sailors would say "it is cold enough to freeze the balls off a Brass Monkey".

So there.

[RED-DOG]

Bridie's car isn't revving properly. (Like it's starving for fuel)

I've managed to look at the air filter (It's clean) and I've dropped the exhaust from the manifold to make sure it isn't a blockage in the cat, but when it comes to checking the carburettor or the fuel pump, forget it. Everything is a sealed unit.

Sigh.... Diagnostic computer, here I come.

[byronkincaid]

Bridie's car isn't revving properly. (Like it's starving for fuel)

I've managed to look at the air filter (It's clean) and I've dropped the exhaust from the manifold to make sure it isn't a blockage in the cat, but when it comes to checking the carburettor or the fuel pump, forget it. Everything is a sealed unit.

Sigh.... Diagnostic computer, here I come.

must be an old car, carbs gone by 1991ish iirc cos they weren't accurate enough to use with catalytic converters

[RED-DOG]

Bridie's car isn't revving properly. (Like it's starving for fuel)

I've managed to look at the air filter (It's clean) and I've dropped the exhaust from the manifold to make sure it isn't a blockage in the cat, but when it comes to checking the carburettor or the fuel pump, forget it. Everything is a sealed unit.

Sigh.... Diagnostic computer, here I come.

must be an old car, carbs gone by 1991ish iirc cos they weren't accurate enough to use with catalytic converters

You're right Byron. The car is about 10 years old and there is no carb, (As such) the fuel system is all sealed.

[Longines]

It's enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

The origin and true meaning of this phrase is actually totally unrelated to any form of animal or its testicles. Back in time to the period of the Napoleonic War, the great gunships of this time carried many cannons on various gun decks. As an efficient method of storage and delivery of cannon balls to the cannon for firing, a "Monkey" (this term is used to define a table and/ or a rail) made of brass was used to hold the balls. In very cold temperatures the brass would contract or even break thus allowing the cannon balls to roll off the Monkey onto the gun deck. Hence the sailors would say "it is cold enough to freeze the balls off a Brass Monkey".

So there.

Every time someone copies something not true from t'internet......

     
Home --> Language --> Story Time --> Brass Monkeyshines

Brass Monkeyshines

Claim:   "Brass monkeys" were small brass plates used to hold cannonballs on the decks of sailing ships.

Status:   False.

Example:   [Collected on the Internet, 2001]

Every sailing ship had to have cannon for protection. Cannon of the times required round iron cannonballs. The master wanted to store the cannon-balls such that they could be of instant use when needed, yet not roll around the gun deck. The solution was to stack them up in a square based
pyramid next to the cannon. The top level of the stack had one ball, the next level down had four, the next had nine, the next had sixteen, and so on. Four levels would provide a stack of 30 cannonballs. The only real problem was how to keep the bottom level from sliding out from under the weight of the higher levels. To do this, they devised a small brass plate ("brass monkey") with one rounded indentation for each cannonball in the bottom layer. Brass was used because the cannonballs wouldn't rust to the "brass monkey", but would rust to an iron one.

When temperature falls, brass contracts in size faster than iron. As it got cold on the gun decks, the indentations in the brass monkey would get smaller than the iron cannonballs they were holding. If the temperature got cold enough, the bottom layer would pop out of the indentations spilling the entire pyramid over the deck. Thus it was, quite literally, "cold enough to freeze the balls off a "brass monkey."

Origins:   Somebody's fanciful imagination is at work cooking up spurious etymologies again. In short, this origin for the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" is nonsense because:

    * Not even the venerable Oxford English Dictionary, records a usage of "brass monkey" like the one presented here.

    * When references to "brass monkeys" started appearing in print in the mid-19th century, they did not always mention balls or cold temperatures. It was sometimes cold enough to freeze the ears, tail, nose, or whiskers off a brass monkey. Likewise, it was sometimes hot enough to "scald the throat" or "singe the hair" of a brass monkey. These usages are inconsistent with the putative origins offered here.

    * Warships didn't store cannonballs (or "round shot") on deck around the clock, day after day, on the slight chance that they might go into battle. Space was a precious commodity on sailing ships, and decks were kept as clear as possible in order to allow room for hundreds of men to perform all the tasks necessary for ordinary ship's functions. (Stacking round shot on deck would also create the danger of their breaking free and rolling around loose on deck whenever the ship encountered rough seas.) Cannonballs were stored elsewhere and only brought out when the decks had been cleared for action.

    * Particularly diligent gunners (not "masters," who were in charge of navigation, sailing and pilotage, not ordnance) would have their crews chip away at imperfections on the surface of cannonballs to make them as smooth as possible, in the hopes that this would cause them fly truer. They did not leave shot on deck, exposed to the elements, where it would rust.

Nobody really knows where the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" came from, but the explanation offered here certainly isn't the answer.




PS The brass monkeys have lost their bearings here in this bit of rural Lestaaashire, -7°C this morning.

[byronkincaid]

the same thing happened to my car recently it was the ignition module or something, the ignition leads attach to it so i guess it does what a distributor used to. you are absolutely right that all you can do is hope a computer tells you what the problem is. it starts to get expensive when the computer hasn't got a clue.

[Longines]

the same thing happened to my car recently it was the ignition module or something, the ignition leads attach to it so i guess it does what a distributor used to.

I had the same with mine recently. Sounded like a bag of spanners. Replaced one ignition coil only for a different one to go a few weeks later. Changed all the rest in one go after that.

Undoubtedly a female ancestor/ovoid attempt but disconnect one at a time. If the engine note changes, you've found a working one. Rinse and repeat.

[RED-DOG]

The engine management light was on on Bridie's car when I bought it. (Months ago) As far as I could tell, everything was fine, but I googled the management light anyway, and apparently, about 70% of the time, there is no discernable fault. 

[RED-DOG]

It's enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

The origin and true meaning of this phrase is actually totally unrelated to any form of animal or its testicles. Back in time to the period of the Napoleonic War, the great gunships of this time carried many cannons on various gun decks. As an efficient method of storage and delivery of cannon balls to the cannon for firing, a "Monkey" (this term is used to define a table and/ or a rail) made of brass was used to hold the balls. In very cold temperatures the brass would contract or even break thus allowing the cannon balls to roll off the Monkey onto the gun deck. Hence the sailors would say "it is cold enough to freeze the balls off a Brass Monkey".

So there.

Every time someone copies something not true from t'internet......

     
Home --> Language --> Story Time --> Brass Monkeyshines

Brass Monkeyshines

Claim:   "Brass monkeys" were small brass plates used to hold cannonballs on the decks of sailing ships.

Status:   False.

Example:   [Collected on the Internet, 2001]

Every sailing ship had to have cannon for protection. Cannon of the times required round iron cannonballs. The master wanted to store the cannon-balls such that they could be of instant use when needed, yet not roll around the gun deck. The solution was to stack them up in a square based
pyramid next to the cannon. The top level of the stack had one ball, the next level down had four, the next had nine, the next had sixteen, and so on. Four levels would provide a stack of 30 cannonballs. The only real problem was how to keep the bottom level from sliding out from under the weight of the higher levels. To do this, they devised a small brass plate ("brass monkey") with one rounded indentation for each cannonball in the bottom layer. Brass was used because the cannonballs wouldn't rust to the "brass monkey", but would rust to an iron one.

When temperature falls, brass contracts in size faster than iron. As it got cold on the gun decks, the indentations in the brass monkey would get smaller than the iron cannonballs they were holding. If the temperature got cold enough, the bottom layer would pop out of the indentations spilling the entire pyramid over the deck. Thus it was, quite literally, "cold enough to freeze the balls off a "brass monkey."

Origins:   Somebody's fanciful imagination is at work cooking up spurious etymologies again. In short, this origin for the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" is nonsense because:

    * Not even the venerable Oxford English Dictionary, records a usage of "brass monkey" like the one presented here.

    * When references to "brass monkeys" started appearing in print in the mid-19th century, they did not always mention balls or cold temperatures. It was sometimes cold enough to freeze the ears, tail, nose, or whiskers off a brass monkey. Likewise, it was sometimes hot enough to "scald the throat" or "singe the hair" of a brass monkey. These usages are inconsistent with the putative origins offered here.

    * Warships didn't store cannonballs (or "round shot") on deck around the clock, day after day, on the slight chance that they might go into battle. Space was a precious commodity on sailing ships, and decks were kept as clear as possible in order to allow room for hundreds of men to perform all the tasks necessary for ordinary ship's functions. (Stacking round shot on deck would also create the danger of their breaking free and rolling around loose on deck whenever the ship encountered rough seas.) Cannonballs were stored elsewhere and only brought out when the decks had been cleared for action.

    * Particularly diligent gunners (not "masters," who were in charge of navigation, sailing and pilotage, not ordnance) would have their crews chip away at imperfections on the surface of cannonballs to make them as smooth as possible, in the hopes that this would cause them fly truer. They did not leave shot on deck, exposed to the elements, where it would rust.

Nobody really knows where the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" came from, but the explanation offered here certainly isn't the answer.




PS The brass monkeys have lost their bearings here in this bit of rural Lestaaashire, -7°C this morning.

I like this rebuttal. Much better than the average "That's bollocks" argument.

[kinboshi]

On a totally unrelated subject to anything recently seen on this thread 

Which would you consider to be the most and least likely to cause danger to yourself and/or others?

a) Driving at 80 mph along a motorway after 3 pints of lager and slightly over the legal drink driving limit and looking at a convertible Mazda MX-5 as it goes past you

b) Driving at 80mph along a motorway whilst totally sober and taking a picture of a convertible Mazda MX-5 as it goes past you

c) Driving at 80 mph along a motorway whilst on a mobile phone and not noticing a Mazda MX-5 as it goes past you because you are actually looking forwards.

To add a bit of spice also consider the above whilst the outside temperature is below freezing so that there is a possibility of occasional ice patches.

I think I'm safe asking this today is I assume Kin is still too busy with his new bird to give his opinion on the subject.

You're just trying to turn something beautiful into something cheap and sordid.

Sorry. Didn't mean to mention Kin.

You killed that pesky rodent yet?

I'd answer your question Matt, but it's not like me to give an opinion unless it's asked for...