Okay society you win- Diary of a fat boy

[boldie]

Yet another great post Phil,
As for the diet, well it's simply astounding.

+1...don't know what you did last night though

[Snatiramas]

Yet another great post Phil,
As for the diet, well it's simply astounding.

+1...don't know what you did last night though

Don't know....went to fat club....came home and came second on sky........mind you came 3rd on Monday. I just love hearing Tikay get my name wrong......oh and he renamed me slimmyramus

[boldie]

Yet another great post Phil,
As for the diet, well it's simply astounding.

+1...don't know what you did last night though

Don't know....went to fat club....came home and came second on sky........mind you came 3rd on Monday. I just love hearing Tikay get my name wrong......oh and he renamed me slimmyramus

2nd and 3rd in one week?..Don't worry..you'll crack it one day mate.

[cia260895]

Yet another great post Phil, and well done last night too.

As for the diet, well it's simply astounding.

and chompy was still moaning bout yr Q9 LOL

[RED-DOG]

Hazel O'Connor's "Will you" eh?

I didn't know you were a fellow sax maniac.

[Snatiramas]

Hazel O'Connor's "Will you" eh?

I didn't know you were a fellow sax maniac.

I know this is going to sound mad but I am about to go out and learn how to play a tenor sax. I haven't picked up a musical instrument since I was 11 about 34 years ago. I just want to prove to myself that I can go and do it. The only problem is that I am not sure that Mrs Snat will be able to put up the screeching awfulness of the early Snat sax years. My soul though is always soothed by the sound of a tenor sax..............oh and Tikay getting my online name wrong

[Dingdell]

Hazel O'Connor's "Will you" eh?

I didn't know you were a fellow sax maniac.

I know this is going to sound mad but I am about to go out and learn how to play a tenor sax. I haven't picked up a musical instrument since I was 11 about 34 years ago. I just want to prove to myself that I can go and do it. The only problem is that I am not sure that Mrs Snat will be able to put up the screeching awfulness of the early Snat sax years. My soul though is always soothed by the sound of a tenor sax..............oh and Tikay getting my online name wrong

Slimmeramas suits you imho.

[Snatiramas]

Well what a strange week it was. I hadn't played any poker since the UKGPT and to be honest hadn't really missed it as I was busy with the other things. On Monday night I was at home as Mrs. Snat was out, we see each other one night a week for a good old fashioned marital argument...........sometimes we get on famously. Anyway I was at home and happened to be on line and went into my sky account where there happend to be 52.65. No idea why it was there or how it got there, but the Open was about to start so I played it and by some minor miracle I finished third...........more to follow

[Snatiramas]

Well what a strange week it was. I hadn't played any poker since the UKGPT and to be honest hadn't really missed it as I was busy with the other things. On Monday night I was at home as Mrs. Snat was out, we see each other one night a week for a good old fashioned marital argument...........sometimes we get on famously. Anyway I was at home and happened to be on line and went into my sky account where there happend to be 52.65. No idea why it was there or how it got there, but the Open was about to start so I played it and by some minor miracle I finished third for £500...........more to follow

apologies I had forgotten about my nieces second birthday party and had to leave sharpish as we were already late and what was I thinking messing about on the computer when they were all in the car waiting for me.........I wondered why the house was so quiet.

So Tuesday I played the open again and bombed out early and Weds I played a little live cash, only played live cash seven times in five years, and made a little money. Thursday I as you know went to fat club and came back just in time to play the 50 where I finished second for £1000. Friday bombed out early in the open and I decided I would play live on Saturday. So where to play. Well there was a two day event at The Western, The GUKPT Bolton and the deepstack at DTD all of which were useless as I was unable to play Sunday due to Addies rugby training form 10 to 12.30. Katies birthday party from 2.30 to 5.00 and then two Barmitzvah parties that would take up the rest of the day. Stop the rollercoaster I want to get off.

So the Vic had a sat for some of the EPT events which I would have played except that I could not have played any of the events. So what is on at Luton. Hmmm a £30 freezeout with an average of 55 runners. Bugger it I need a live game so it will just have to do. So I turn up and go to pay and find it is £45.50. How is this asks I? £30 entry, £10 bounty chip and £5.50 session charge. Now let me tell you anybody from Grosvenor who might read this. When you put the session charge up by £0.50 you made me stop playing any casino games and I will tell you why. Somebody in your organisation sat down in a meeting at some point in the past and said let's put up the session charge. Somebody else said "we can't as we charge quite a lot for a self deal tournament already and we only just put in these increased charges". So matey1 says "well if we can't put it up by £1 maybe we can get away with £0.50". Well done with getting away with £0.50 matey1 I am sure you are making more money overall, but from this punter you have lost revenue.

Anyway rant over I of course pay the £45.50 and sit down at my table with my 4000 chips. I hadn't been at a self deal table for a while. I like self deal on a small round table. Lots of mistakes on pots that can send people just a little bit tilty. Who is on the table next to me but good old Compo himself. You see there are no depths to which David and I will not stoop for a game. Actually he was there in the afternoon for sat for the Grosvenor Grand Prix......ho hum. Anyway there is a celebrity bounty of £50. Nobody knows who the celebrity is not even the celebrity. In fact it is a misnomer. It should be a mystery player. Anyway at 3.15 am we are heads up and the £50 has not been won. I have a third of the chips. I wait to see if the other player wants to suggest a deal as I never start these discussions. He doesn't. We play rock hard heads up poker for all of 3 hands at which point I have all the points..........and the bounty which was on my head all evening. Yes ladies and gents I am the first player in Luton on a Saturday night to carry the bounty through.

Oh and before you post it, this is another look how great I am at poker post but it has been a fun week and actually I would like to post a big THANK YOU to all those people I met last week who told me how wonderful I look. It felt really good. Also a big thank you to all the railbirds on Monday and Thursday on Sky and a big well done to Joobie who cashed deep in the £50 +1 on Wednesday night. Those who can't play teach..........now there's a thought

[boldie]

well done Snatty

to off-set this obvious brag post I feel you owe us an extra Guinnes story though

[tikay]

67 pounds? That's equivelant to almost 34 bags of sugar! Awesome.

And I have only, right now, realised that I always say your name wrong on the Show - I say "snatimaras" when in fact it's "snatiramas". Oops.

Sorry.

I must say, though, I barely recognized you when we bumped into each other last week.

[Laxie]

Blimey!  You're doing great!!!  You'll have to track me down at the bash because it sounds like I won't even recognise you.

[Snatiramas]

67 pounds? That's equivelant to almost 34 bags of sugar! Awesome.

And I have only, right now, realised that I always say your name wrong on the Show - I say "snatimaras" when in fact it's "snatiramas". Oops.

Sorry.

I must say, though, I barely recognized you when we bumped into each other last week.

It's okay I have been called far worse sir and I know it was genuine error............. There was nobody more surprised than me as I walked through the door to see you there...............I am looking forward to the bash though as it gives me the chance to thank lots of people who have supported me this far.

[Snatiramas]

well done Snatty

to off-set this obvious brag post I feel you owe us an extra Guinnes story though

Just for you dear boy and having read my obvious brag post again I feel I owe you all this memory, but before I do I would like to point out that after one chat to me on Wednesday night Dingdells luck changed completely.........coincidence, surely not. So if you see me, come up and have a chat. If everybody does it at the bash we could keep this run going

Anyway as I have mentioned previously the Guinness marketing team were in honesty pretty astute if linguistically challenged. I mean paradigm shift was straight out of somebody's text book. One thing that they did come up with was the Dummy fount. Now as you are all aware lager sells more than bitter and bitter sells more than Guinness unless you are in certain strongholds of the black beer religion. To ensure that there was a Guinness presence at both ends of the bar we were instructed to place a dummy fount. A dummy fount looked like the normal dispenser but had a bottle opener behind it.

Now the fount at this time was a plastic replica of a straight glass of Guinness that was lit from the inside. Most pubs did not have the brass fittings that you see in the majority of places today, so finding space on the bar was sometimes challenging. Not only that but everybody elses founts were also lit so finding power or a spare socket so that it was lit was also troublesome. There was a target though so it had to be done. In our cars we had transformers, plugs, cabling, lightbulbs, wirestrippers, dummy founts and of course an industrial stapler.

So I am in call and I have identified the need for a dummy fount in a pub in Finchley. I get all the stuff out and in my suit and tie start this installation. Now Clive during my training had shown me how to do it all, and do it quickly, but I am a Jewish man and two things about the Jewish man that you should already know from this thread is that we can't dance and in addition we do not do DIY. Now the rest of the male society just think we are being clever in the fact that if you do something so badly you are never asked to do it again, but I can tell you we are genuinely awful at it and DIY.

It is going quite well and I have managed to wire the plug to the transformer and found a socket. I am now stripping the wire to connect the fount to the transformer. Connect it all up and bugger me if the fount doesn't light up just like it is supposed to. Fix the fount in the desired location using the clamp between a Skol (I don't even know if Skol even exists any more) fount and the bitter fount. It is at this point that the trouble starts. You know what I am talking about. Job done, getting a bit cocky, chatting up the antipodean barmaid as you do, when I suddenly realise that having stapled the wiring in place using industrial staples, the wire is now too short. Gorgeous blonde laughing at my jokes suddenly realises the problem and makes sure that I have an audience of the whole bar.......well the dozen or so that are in there.

So I pull the cabling out and I do it again. I am shaking and blushing and suffering terribly. All I can think is that it can't possibly get any worse as I am stapling the wire back to the underside of the bar at which point ladies and gentlemen I realise I can't move as I have stapled my Guinness tie there as well. To this day the stapling of the tie to the underside of the bar I regard as a miracle. I mean the tie defied the laws of gravity to get there. It had to. I can't find the correct descriptive word for the shade of red I turned, crimson would be close.

After a couple of minutes I have composed myself enough to a) extricate the tie situation and b) finish the installation. I think looking back on it the good lord was just showing me the error of my ways in chatting up the very good looking barmaid and I hope that this fairly embarrassing interlude makes up for the blatant brag post

[Laxie]

    Yep.  Yer covered now.  Cheers!